


Becoming a Hokage 101

by haikemi



Series: they used to chase me; now they run [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: And violence, Angst, Believe it!, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Drama, Elders are annoying, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Feels, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Gen, Graphic Depictions of Illness, Graphic Description of Corpses, Hurt/Comfort, I swear there's not going to be a lot of these things this is just a heads up, Kinda, Lots of it, M/M, Multi, No Uchiha Massacre, No beta we die with honor, OC WILL BE HOKAGE, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rated mostly for language, Self-Insert, Some Humor, Torture, Tsunade is not the fifth hokage, Violence, and SMUT, as usual, but mostly language, but not really, but that's okay she's in the story too, dumb teenagers, oops spoilers, the main romantic relationships will be the first three, the rest is platonic/very brief
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-17
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-06-12 03:19:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 72,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15330582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haikemi/pseuds/haikemi
Summary: [Summary edited as of 26/11/18]"They've nicknamed you after a demon." "I know. Isn't it oddly fitting?"OC/Self-insert.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Eyy what’s up guise, this is Haikemi! This is a rewrite of How to Become Hokage: A Guide for Dummies. I was rereading it after a year and realized both Chiyuki and the story weren’t really going the way I wanted them to, so this story was born.
> 
> I hope you all will enjoy this, and constructive criticism is more than welcome.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

 

**Becoming a Hokage 101**

.

_ Author’s note _

If you have found this book, I must first say congratulations. It hasn’t been easy, I assume, but I hope it’ll be worth your trouble. More than a guide, this is a compilation of useful information and relevant tips I have gathered during the years. Please bear in mind my notes are biased more often than not, but I still hope you’ll enjoy reading this as much I have enjoyed writing it.

Sincerely,

 

_ Sarutobi Chiyuki _

_ Godaime Hokage _

.

* * *

 

.

I must admit it took me an embarrassingly long amount of time to realize just what had happened to me - but then again, in my defense, I wasn’t exactly in my right mind.

The first year of my new life was a blur of pain and hunger. I remember dreaming often, as well, but when you’re a baby and can’t pinpoint what’s reality and what’s not, those often terrified me.

 The difference between then and now isn’t the presence of those dreams or not, because I still have them. What has dramatically changed is that now I know what they are - memories and flashes of a previous life, one that was hugely different from the one I lead now. It used to be as interesting as it was short, and for a little over twelve months my brand new (physical) brain simply didn’t know how to process all that.

Turns out the circumstances to my death were simply unfortunate. I was a young woman in the wrong place, in the wrong time, and though that gives me little peace of mind, I have learnt to appreciate small blessings for what they are. 

What my mind took a long time to get used to was the difference between real memories - names, faces, bonds, common sights - and flashes of things I used to do and watch for entertainment, such as cartoons and books. With the help of my new mother, however, things took a turn for the best right after my first birthday, and I can clearly remember seeing this new world for the first time without having to worry about a curiously always empty stomach or blinding headaches.

There was obviously none of the advanced technology I had been so reliant on. Common objects like smartphones and laptops didn’t exist, and the closest thing I could associate to ‘technological’ was a tv, big and grey but not very used. Instead, people easily did things I couldn’t have imagined possible Before, like running faster than superheroes and walking on water. 

That enough should have activated a big, loud alarm in my head, but again, I was just learning the difference between dreams and reality, and I  _ was  _ just a baby. What really tipped me off, though, happened about a week after my first birthday. I vaguely remember a party, but it had been mostly a family affair, if the small amount of people and comfortable setting were anything to go by.

Until then, I had thought my new mother was taking care of me and my brothers on her own, with the occasional help of a babysitter. It wasn’t something unusual even in my previous life, but it still left me wondering what kind of man was my new father. 

Turns out I’d get my answer soon enough, between one afternoon nap and the other. A young boy no older than six had been holding my tiny body pressed against his, cooing at me and spouting off nonsense in a language I had barely recognized as Japanese, when the front door to our house opened and he immediately brightened.

“Dad!”

_ ‘Oh’ _ , I remember thinking,  _ ‘thank goodness I do have a father.’ _

In vivid detail, I have memories of my new father lifting me up from my older brother’s arms, swiftly tucking me in his own. The man smelled of ash and sweat and earth, and the face I made got a gruff laugh out of him. The first thing I realized was that he was a bit older than I had imagined he would be, with thin scars on his cheeks and deep lines on his forehead and around his eyes. Then, my eyes turned to the hat on his head, and after a few moments some gears in my head just seemed to click.

His hat, a dark thing similar to what a samurai from Before might have used, was battered and dirty, a clear sign he’d been fighting up until recently. In my mind’s eye, the pieces of a puzzle I had almost given up on fell together in a detailed picture, one that immediately filled me with dread for all they implied.

My father in this new life was Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage to the Hidden Village in the Leaf. That meant I was, somehow, in a shinobi world, and from the few flashes I recognized I immediately knew this would not mean I’d have an easy or peaceful life. The thought of having to learn how to fight and kill just so I could survive had filled my eyes with tears in a flash, mostly because it was all so very strange and different from Before. When I was but a young woman whose biggest concern was to graduate from university I didn’t need to worry about any of that. Sure, robberies and murders were very much real, but I never had had the raw need to defend myself and others like that.

I remember bursting into tears, a hysteric cry that had my mother in instant alert. Just as fast, I was in her arms, and then her fingers - cold and surprisingly familiar at this point - were on my forehead, soothing my chaotic mind and easing the physical pain those memories brought.

Thirteen months into my new life, I belatedly realized I had been reborn in the Narutoverse. After allowing myself to cry into my mother’s chest for all I knew it meant, I finally let myself fully embrace this new world.

 

.

* * *

.

So this prologue is basically a very brief introduction to her family and context. She’ll mostly remember things from flashes and dreams, though there’ll be quite a few cracks in between. 

I’d love to know what you think!


	2. First Section - Chapter One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chiyuki grows and learns. Mostly learns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy crap, thank you so much for your kudos and comments so far! I'm really glad you decided to give this story a chance!
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

.

First section: Childhood

.

Chapter One: Being born into a shinobi family is a plus, not a must.

No one has any control over the family they are born into, whether it is a ninja or a civilian one. Having parents or guardians who have been shinobi at some point in their lives will most likely give one a headstart in their quest to become hokage, although that is definitely not a deciding factor.

If you have been born in a shinobi clan, there will be morals and routines you will be expected to follow, especially if you happen to be one of the offspring of the clan leader. Some Konoha clans have stricter policies than others, and it would be wise of you to remember your early childhood will play a big part in your personality and how you perceive the world around you.

Having civilian parents, contrary to popular belief, is not something that will slow you down or become a handicap, quite the contrary: learning all the theories and techniques from scratch and without any sort of biased guidance means you have the opportunity to learn whichever ones you’d prefer.

More than all this, however, it is of utmost importance that you do not let any of this define who you truly are. Being a hokage - the leader of one of the oldest and strongest shinobi villages - is more than just assigning missions and discussing politics. It means you have to be both mentally and physically strong enough to stick to your ideals and fight to defend them, even when you know money and petty issues of the past will be obstacles. Take this time to get to know your family and close friends, for they’ll be your first and most trusted allies.

.

* * *

 

.

It might be a little far-fetched to say that a baby was planning murder and thinking of strategies, but that’s exactly what I did. At fourteen months old, I slept for over 16 hours a day, frustratingly enough. Of course, being the youngest child of the current hokage meant that there was always someone with me, but to my delight, that someone was more often than not Asuma.

And you see, that’s the thing about being reborn into a fictional world. When you’re on the other side of the screen, watching cartoons for entertainment, you don’t really form bonds with any of them. There are favorites, sure, but their well-being does not affect your own. If they die or get hurt, you might get sad - you might even cry - but you will move on, because you don’t  _ know  _ them. Because they don’t exist, not really.

“Asuma! Tooru!” I squealed upon seeing him, not having to fake my enthusiasm. During the early morning, when everyone was still getting up and mother was busy cooking breakfast, my brothers would wake up barely half an hour after myself, and although both their smiles had varying degrees of enthusiasm, I knew their love was the same. 

“Peanut!” Tooru, our eldest brother, was eight years old, and my own personal ray of sunshine. He looked like a perfect mix of Hiruzen and Biwako, with dark, messy brown hair and pale skin, but even I could see he was going to be quite the handsome man one day. Without any preamble, he went and picked me up from the futon I had been lying on, immediately cooing at me. “Who’s my favorite sister? You are!”

A soft snort left Asuma’s mouth as he passed by us, giving me an affectionate pat on the head before kneeling down at the table, where mom was already setting the bowls of miso soup down. 

“She’s your only sister, niisan.” Mother said nothing during the whole exchange, but that’s how it always was. This casual, light-hearted conversation had become painfully familiar in our household, especially since I had been able to understand more and more. Tooru, the drama queen, let out a gasp and proceeded to blow raspberries on my stomach, full and round like a baby’s should be.

In that moment, our father slided the bamboo door to the left and comes inside the kitchen, making an effort to not step as lightly as I know he does. He’s tired and worn out, we all can tell; yet, he always takes time to ruffle our hairs and kiss my mother’s temple before going out, no matter what.

This, right here, is what I’m talking about. Here, there characters are  real  people with real dreams and real traits and before you know it, you have formed bonds with them. It’s terrifying, to say the least.

Sarutobi Asuma, whether I wanted him to or not, was someone who had won me over without even trying. He was a little over a year older, being almost three years old, but was already so smart despite being only a toddler. Our oldest brother, Tooru, was the clan heir, and even though he had already begun his training, he didn’t seem too concerned with the whole thing. They were the most precious thing in my life, full of smiles and open affection for me, and it was a silly thing to believe in, I knew, but in their presence I felt like I  _ belonged _ ; like this is exactly where I was supposed to be, and nowhere else.

Then there were my parents.

“Now, now, children. Let’s sit down and eat breakfast before your mother scolds us, mhmm?” My father’s voice rumbled somewhere to my right, and suddenly I found myself in his arms. The skin around his eyes wrinkled as he gave me a small smile, kissing my forehead before giving me to my mother.

I had very conflicting impressions of my father, to be truthful. Although he had been nothing but gentle and supportive with me, there was always something niggling at the back of my mind whenever his attention was on me. All of the memories I could gather on him were scarce at best, but they all showed what a powerful and shinobi he was, doing his best to protect this village. Hiruzen was a good man, a good father and a good hokage, so why would my mind insist there was something I was missing? It wasn’t anything small, either; an annoying little voice kept trying to imply there was a huge gap somewhere, some vital information I hadn’t quite remembered yet, but that it was important. Sometimes, if I didn’t ignore that voice, my headaches would come back.

“Mama.” I gave a toothless smile upon seeing my mother’s tired face, and although she smiled slightly at me, she held me firmly in her arms so I could drink from the offered bottle. The lukewarm milk, highly nutritious and frankly delicious filled up my stomach slowly but surely, although I knew that two hours later I’d be have to be fed again.

(Breast feeding was not a fun time, I assure you. After I moved on to the milk powder they have here, things got a lot better).

Mother was a complicated thing. Sure, I loved her, and I knew she loved me, just like she loved my brothers, but sometimes… Sometimes being in her company was stifling. It was no wonder to anyone that I was her favorite child, simply because I was a girl. Sarutobi Biwako was probably one of the first feminists in the Narutoverse, and although I was extremely proud of that, she was also a bit of a extremist. To my mother, women were much stronger than men, and could handle life in general much better than they could; she always said that men wouldn’t be able to handle childbirth, and my father wholeheartedly agreed. Being her favorite child, it was obvious she had high expectations of me, even if I was only an infant. Even if my headaches and constant hunger were handicaps, mother firmly believed I’d be one of the greatest kunoichi of my generation - perhaps, one of the best of all time. 

She was the matriarch of the Sarutobi clan, a highly respected member of the council of elders, a seal master,  _ and  _ the most accomplished kunoichi of her generation. It was extremely difficult to not feel all the pressure and the expectations, especially when it came from her. A few months ago I got really upset with her when I overheard a conversation she had with my aunt, saying how I’d probably surpass my own brothers in no time, maybe even so that the clan would want me to be the heir, and not Tooru. After that evening, I spent a week fussing and complaining whenever mother held me, and strongly preferred the company of my brothers. Of course, no one had any idea why, and just chalked it up to my yin and yang chakra causing trouble again.

(Which, yeah, it was a thing, but I’ll get to it in a minute).

I had thought the whole thing was extremely unfair and unnecessary. Tooru had been chosen as clan heir since his birth, and had trained for it ever since. I would never even think of stealing that spot, even if he didn’t seem that eager to do it. From then on, the situation snowballed. I added all the frustration I felt with how suspicious a part of me seemed to be with my own father, as well as all the weight of the future that was already planned for me by my mother, and for a little while I went back to the headaches and crying. The time I spent around my brothers increased slightly, but it also meant spending a lot of time with my aunt. I had many opportunities to think about what I did and how exactly I was tackling things - which, admittedly, could have gone a lot better. 

Seven days after the overheard conversation, I got back to treating my parents as usual, and then things just kind of… seemed to fall back into their own places, in their own time. I accepted I’d have to stand up to my mother if I wanted to shape my own life, and that I’d have to investigate my own father to silence the voice in my head. I vowed to become a strong kunoichi, one that could protect my brothers and support them. Things in our household went back to normal, and then my second birthday party hit me right in the face.

* * *

I stayed very still, not wanting to risk my mother’s bad mood as we were finally finishing up. My second birthday party would be a slightly bigger affair than the first one, although not by much. A few close people would be invited, and that included high ranked officers that worked closely with my father; it was more of a political get-together than anything else, but I was okay with it. So long as I wasn’t generally bothered and could spend time with an increasingly busy Tooru, it was perfectly fine.

As mother finished tying the obi around my waist, she let out a breath, sharp eyes taking in my appearance.

“Alright. Take a look.” She said with a small, satisfied smile, and the expression made her look younger. I nodded and obliged, taking in my appearance properly for the first time in this new life.

Whether it was the Universe’s version of a joke or simply an ironic coincidence, I looked exactly like my mother: straight dark blonde hair and chocolate brown eyes, with an oval face and cat shaped eyes. I still had a lot of baby fat, naturally, but I had little doubt I’d have the same sharp cheekbones and defined jaw she had. All in all, it wasn’t a bad combination, it was just something else I’d have to fight for to be able to get out from under her shadow. I was resigned, you could say, but very determined.

My hair was usually kept shoulder length, though for my birthday party mother had done a pretty bun, keeping it out of my face. I didn’t have bangs or anything, because I was fussy like that, and so the first thing people noticed about me was my forehead. Right in the middle of it there were two straight lines, one thicker than the other, resembling a pause symbol in my previous life. Mother had told me, once I was old enough to understand, that that was a seal, designed by her to keep my yin and yang chakra balanced. It was apparently the cause of my constant headaches and crying during my first months of life, and it had all ceased once the seal was in place. I had a theory about how the memories of a previous life might have affected that balance, but it wasn’t exactly something I could discuss with anyone, so I left it at that. Besides, it didn’t really bother me so long as it did its job, and people in my parents’ social circle knew enough about me to prevent from asking.

The kimono I had chosen was a beautiful one, no doubt expensive, handmade and embroidered with small pearls along the fabric. The pink flowers against the white background clashed nicely with the yellow obi, and if it weren’t so unpractical for shinobi wear, I’d definitely use something like this more often. The only problem was that my parents weren’t very tall, and I  _ was  _ a tiny child, so my aunt had had to cut the hem of the kimono, and the sleeves covered my hands. 

“Do you like it?” Biwako had been so quiet that I’d gotten lost in my thoughts, but I knew I liked what I saw, so I gave her reflection in the mirror a firm nod. Her smile widened a fraction, and she gracefully stood up, taking my hand in hers and heading to our living room. The place had been decorated with a few balloons here and there, and there was a beautiful pink cake on top of the table, courtesy of the Akimichi. There were already some people there, but those were mostly clansmen, and no introductions needed to be made.

“Aunt Hiroko.” I greeted her as soon as she approached us, and she gave me a warm smile.

“Well, don’t you look simply gorgeous.” I barely even blushed, to my relief, and merely smiled back. 

“Thank you, Aunt.” 

Hiroko was my father’s sister, but she looked scaringly like mother, because they had the same hair color and the same eyes, although my aunt was a little taller. Although it wasn’t often, Asuma and I stayed with her whenever mother and father had to work until late, and I loved it. Aunt Hiroko was fun, kind, and open with her affections, and was often the one to reign in my mother whenever she got too worked up about my future as a ninja. She was a blessing, basically.

As the two of them engaged in a conversation about clan politics, I wandered over to where I knew Asuma would be, his chakra signature familiar and easy to track even if I hadn’t had any prior training. Surely enough, I found him under moments, sipping on apple juice half-hidden behind the kitchen table. I let a smile at the scene.

“Niisan.” His dark eyes, so very similar to father’s, blinked slowly at me. I took in his casual clothes against my own fancy ones, and I wanted to cringe at my mother’s antics again. I was sure Asuma and Tooru had worn casual clothes in their own birthday parties, as well. His eyes softened, and not for the first time I marveled at how intelligent he already was at three years old. 

“You look pretty.” The traitorous blush became present, making my cheeks feel warm. Usually, I didn’t care much for compliments, because it was something I had quickly gotten used to as the hokage’s youngest child and my mother’s favorite. It was petty and left a bitter taste in my mouth, but if there was someone whose opinion mattered the world to me, it was Asuma’s. As far as my brief memories Here go, Asuma’s always been by my side, unconditionally loving me through my tears and sleepless nights. He’s always humoured me and entertained me, and although I love Tooru just as much, the middle brother was the first to get his own spot in my new heart. 

“Thank you, niisan.” He merely smiled and handed me a cup filled with apple juice, motioning to the snacks at the table. 

“You should eat while the rest of the guests isn’t here yet.” Asuma said, and I agreed before stuffing my face full of food while I could. I had to take advantage of the fact that mother wasn’t paying attention to my ‘horrid’ manners, and also because my brother had a point; once people started to arrive, introductions and small talk were going to be made and I’d have little time to eat during that. 

Which is also related to my yin and yang chakra, and the seal that keeps the balance in check. As a result of both my extra memories and the seal on such a delicate part of my body, my brain demanded three times as much food to keep it all in check. If I spent longer than four hours without eating, all the nutrients my brain needed would be taken from my muscles, and then the headaches would start - again. It was a pain, and I seriously worried about what kind of ninja I was going to be.

Asuma huffed amusedly, and right after that Tooru found the two of us in the kitchen, where the guests couldn’t really see us. He approached us with a fake look of disappointment, but his lips were already quirking up in a smile.

“Peanut! And Hazelnut! I thought you knew better than sneak around guests and eat all the food before we sing happy birthday!” His high voice coupled with the ridiculous nicknames made me snort, some of the food flying out of my mouth.

“Gross.” Asuma snickered and Tooru barked out a laugh at that, but none of them bothered to scold me. We all silently agreed we had more than enough of that from our mother. Gently, our oldest brother wet a towel and cleaned my face, eyeing me with amusement in his dark eyes. 

“There, now you don’t look like you’ve been eating dirt.” I giggled and Asuma snickered once again, Tooru winking down at us. “I actually came here to tell you some of the guests are here, and mother and father are looking for you.”

Unable to control myself around my brothers, I wrinkled my nose, openly letting them know how I felt about all this. Sighing sympathetically, Tooru kneeled to our level, putting his hand on my head. 

“Hey. I know it sucks, Peanut. I know it does.” And I believed that. If there was someone who understood what a pain politics and pointless small talk were, it was Tooru, The Eldest Son of Our Honored Hokage and Heir to The Sarutobi Clan.  It was much too heavy of a burden on a nine year old. “But you gotta hold on for a couple of hours, that’s all. A lot of people are going to come in and coo at you, and you just have to smile and look pretty. It shouldn’t be too hard, considering you look pretty everyday.”

Asuma and I rolled our eyes in synchrony, but I couldn’t deny the pep talk gave me strength and patience to handle the party. If Tooru said I could do it, then I would. I also defiantly ignored the blush spreading on my cheeks once again.

“I swear I’m gonna start calling you both Walnut One and Walnut Two if you keep on doing things at the same time. It’s creepy, and you’re not even twins.” He also rolled his eyes, and as if we had agreed to it beforehand, Asuma and I huffed amusedly together, making Tooru throw his hands to the air.

“That’s it. From today onwards, you’re Walnut One and Walnut Two. Now let’s hurry up, because dad’s students are here and we’re all going to suffer if we miss them.”

I actually perked up at that. From my vague memories, I knew Hiruzen’s students were exceptional individuals, incredibly different from one another but a team who could cause a lot of damage when fighting together. I also knew the three had been very relevant to the canon plot of Naruto.

Taking Tooru’s left hand while Asuma took his right, we headed out of the kitchen into the living room, with eleven or so people mingling and talking. Some of the clansmen had already left, and I was thankful for the lack of a crowd. 

Finding our father was easy enough. No matter what he was doing, people would always flock to him, and his former students were no exception. Upon coming closer, however, they were all wearing their shinobi gear, which meant they were on their way to a mission.

“Father.” Tooru’s voice caught his attention, though I didn’t doubt every ninja in the room knew exactly where everyone was. Regardless, father’s eyes caught ours and for a moment they lingered on mine. Then, before that annoying voice could rear its ugly head, I was being picked up by him, a proud smile on his face.

“Jiraya. Tsunade. Orochimaru. You already know Tooru and Asuma, but you have yet to meet the youngest. Introduce yourself, dear.” It was impossible to bow like mother had drilled into us, but I gave them a polite nod of the head, taking the time to look at each one of them.

“Hello. My name is Sarutobi Chiyuki, and I’m two years old. It is a pleasure to meet you.” I took in their expressions calmly, keeping in mind it’d need to be careful around all three of them. Orochimaru had a look of vague interest, and his mere presence was enough to raise alarm bells in my head. I knew what he was capable of, and I knew what lengths he’d be willing to go to achieve his goals. I was not, however, willing to stay and figure him out. Tsunade was beautiful, that’s for sure, but she also looked tired and worn out in a way no one her age should look like. The Second Shinobi War had ended a little before I was born (coincidence? I think not.), and although I couldn’t remember exactly what had happened to her, it was clear she was still suffering. Despite all her pain, though, she managed a weak smile for me. 

Jiraya was… well. He looked thoughtful, and from short experience that was a look that didn’t bode well with me. He was easily the tallest person in the room, with spiky white hair and red markings on his face, but other than knowing he was going to be Naruto’s mentor at some point in life, I had no other memories of him, and that disgruntled me a little. I knew there were a lot of things I was missing there.

“Hey, sensei.” Even Orochimaru looked weary of the pensive look on his male teammate’s face, and I could tell it wasn’t a usual sight. Regardless, Jiraya continued. “That seal…”

Almost defensively, my father gave his student a warning look, which prompted him to raise his hands in a surrender sign. I could tell all three of them had been interested, though only one of them had had the guts (or perhaps the foolishness) of asking directly to their teacher. It made me wonder if Jiraya was fearless or simply that dense. 

“It helps with her chakra, designed by Biwako herself. It’s nothing you should be concerned about.” Well. That was a dismissal if I’d ever heard one. His student, however, already used to it, simply shrugged and let the topic drop. 

For now.

I was also put down before anyone could ask shifty questions again, with a brief pat on the head. And then I was off with a small bow to his three students, eager to go back to my brothers. 

I spent a lot of time sleeping, yes, but I also spent a lot of time pretending to be asleep so I could sort out the memories in my head. They were scarce and I only had a limited amount of information to work with, and at this point in my life, not much I could do. I was going to become a ninja, obviously; not only because of who my family was, but also for the sake of the characters I was slowly growing so attached to. Most importantly, if I wanted to get things done, they’d have to be done mostly by myself. 

It was going to be tough, and a pain, but I’d need to be an elite ninja, at the very least, for political connections can only get you so far, especially the ones I had planned. If we also took in the fact I live in the middle of a military dictatorship without any possible way of changing the system in just a few years, it all meant nothing short of the very position of hokage would get me my way. 

I had wrinkled my nose and almost given away the fact that I wasn’t really sleeping back when I first thought about it, but the more I reasoned, the more it made sense. I remembered Kushina and Minato, and how they had been so good and kind without raising any alarm bells in my head; I remembered sweet and friendly Naruto, who had loved his village despite all the scorn he had suffered for it; I remember Minato’s students and the pain they all went through, and how one of them was actually responsible for the start of the Fourth Shinobi War; the jinchuuriki, shunned and made into weapons by their own village.

It made me think that the villages weren’t really that well-run, not really. Many people still held grudges that no one even remembered the origins of, despotism was obvious but overlooked, but most importantly,  _ how children learned to kill at the age of five _ . In one of my flashes, there’d been the memory of a young child, with sad dark eyes and eye bags the size of the burden he’d had to carry, and although I didn’t remember his name or why he was important, I still remembered he’d had those eye bags for a reason. 

Pausing briefly, I took a moment to glance at the kitchen, where my brothers and Aunt Hiroko where. The sight made me feel warm and happy and safe and home, and I had to admit I struggled a little to tear my eyes from it. On the other side of the room, the infamous what’s-their-name trio made an appearance, both my parents greeting them with a nod and a polite smile. Despite not knowing their names, a flash had once made me certain they were highly influential and strong figures within the village - one of them was incredibly smart, I knew, and would have the position of jounin commander in a few years. The picture represented everything I’d have to struggle and fight against, from diplomacy to stubborn elders to conservative views and I knew -  _ I knew _ \- it’d be a long journey, and that sometimes I’d think it wasn’t really worth it, that I didn’t  _ have  _ to do anything just because I knew things, not really - 

But then I’d just have to look at my brothers’ smiling face to decide that yes, it was definitely worth it.

* * *

 

Making up my mind meant I had to come up with plans - lots of them.

First of all, I needed to see up close how exactly the village worked, and decided to go to the easiest place to begin at: my father’s office. Being a child and the youngest kid of the hokage meant I had certain privileges I  _ was  _ going to make use of, whether I liked it or not. You can’t really look a horse gift in the mouth, now can you?

Which found me once a day every week at the hokage’s office, visiting him at random times. Sometimes, it’d just be to say hello and chill with the secretary, Sasakibe-oji; other times, it’d be to coldly observe every person that came into the tower, ninja or civilian. By the end of my third month of observation, I had noted that civilians very rarely came into the tower, and when they did, it was to attend an appointment with the Civilian Council (more usual) or with my father (less usual). I had also noticed that the third floor, where the missions desk was located, was by far the busiest floor, with a high flow of mostly genins and chuunins, with the occasional jounin. One day, I had actually asked my father if I could observe the chuunin manning the desk at work, and his soft heart had consented, so long as I didn’t bother him.

Turns out the one in charge of handing out missions that day had been none other than Sasakibe-oji, a middle aged shinobi who had been my father’s secretary ever since he had become hokage. The man was tall and lanky, with white hair and a stern face, but had always treated me kindly and not concedingly, and I liked him plenty. Whenever I visited my father and he couldn’t see me immediately, Sasakibe-oji would pull a chair next to his and hand me a scroll and a brush so I could keep busy working on my calligraphy while he worked. We had created a very silent but comfortable companionship, and I greatly admired his patience and organizing skills.

On that day, he had allowed me to sit next to him, as usual, for the duration of my father’s lunch hour, but I wasn’t permitted to actively help him assign missions - which was perfectly understandable for me. I was pretty content to just pretend to be engrossed in calligraphy whilst paying attention to the people.

Not many people came to the missions desk during lunch unless they were summoned, so I didn’t see many people that day. I did see, however, how Sasakibe-oji would carefully open every mission scroll, no matter if it was only a D-rank one, and clearly tell the ninja what they were supposed to do. Not for the first time, I admired his swift hands at work and the way he seemed to know exactly what he was doing.

(Sasakibe-oji, in my mind, was a  _ hero _ .)

Turning two also meant my ninja training would officially begin, now that I could run around without stumbling face-first in the dirt. In the mornings, mother would wake all three of us up at exactly 6 in the morning, and we were expected to do a series of stretch and katas under the watchful eye of our aunt. After breakfast, Tooru would go to the Academy, at eight o’clock, and mother would work with Asuma and I on meditation and chakra control exercises.

It had been my very first contact with chakra, and I was excited. It wasn’t something I was able to feel or manipulate before this, because I simply couldn’t feel it. It flowed as naturally as the blood in my veins did, and only with proper training and meditation could the power to manipulate it be achieved. 

“The leaf sticking exercise is one of the first we teach to those who have just begun their ninja training, not only because it is a good opportunity for you to actively feel your chakra, but also because it is an exercise of focus.” It was a cloudless, warm day, and while Asuma was meditating, mother held a leaf in her hand. After her explanation, she pursued her lips briefly, and I could tell it was more out of thoughtfulness than hesitation. “You are already aware of the seal on your head and how delicate the balance of yin yang chakra in your body varies. Although this is your first attempt, do not rush it.”

I nodded, showing just as much determination as I felt. I was going to do this slowly, but properly, and I was going to succeed.

Grabbing the green leaf from her hands, I briefly studied it, turning it over my hand and feeling the smooth texture. With perhaps more care than necessary, I gingerly felt its weight and its size, and how much chakra I’d have to focus on that point. 

I tried, I swear I tried to not feel too self-conscious or pressured, but it was damn nearly impossible. Mother and I had agreed I would not try to do it on my forehead, as everyone else did, because that was right where my seal was and it was like asking for trouble to happen. Instead, I’d try to do it on my cheek.

“Chiyuki.” Suddenly, my mother’s hands covered mine - and, consequently, the leaf. Air came in a rush, and I realized I had stopped breathing. I hesitantly looked up to meet my mother’s eyes, afraid I’d see disappointment, but all I saw was sympathy and comfort. I slowly let out a breathe. “Take your time, but do not think too much about it. Hold the leaf and focus your chakra so it sticks. I’ll be here the entire time.”

It was times like these I really appreciated how wise and supportive my mother could be. Sure, she had her overbearing moments, but she was also an excellent teacher and I knew that she wouldn’t let anything happen to me. 

Feeling much more confident, I nodded again at her, and she wordlessly put her hands back in her lap.

I put the leaf on my left cheek, trying to concentrate on the feel of its coldness against my skin. I focused on that, unsure of what I was actually directioning to that area, because you can’t really  _ feel  _ chakra. The brief theory mother had explained to me had me associating it with some sort of inner energy, the kind of thing you can’t really see or feel, just… trust it. 

A quick second of unsureness, then mentally saying ‘fuck it’. I focused on my right cheek and the leaf that touched the skin there,  _ willing  _ it to stick and to stay there. I let go.

The leaf stuck to my cheek, and my mother smiled proudly at me.

* * *

 

Of course, nothing in my ninja training was going to be easy. My immediate family had been ecstatic I was, apparently, a natural at controlling chakra, so much so that I had to slightly avoid my mother for a couple of days. I was told I’d be some sort of ninjutsu prodigy, maybe even a medical-nin. As a compensation, my stamina - and, consequently, my taijutsu - were a disaster.

I couldn’t run for long, muscles quickly tiring out and stomach emptying much, much faster than the normal rate. I ate as much as a fully-grown adult multiple times a day, and whereas I’d been a vegetarian Before, I could not give up on animal-based protein, as it was readily available and what provided my body with most energy. As such, even after eight horrendous months of running laps, katas, and stretches, my progress was minimal. Ignoring my body’s needs and trying to carry on with the physical training was a fool-proof recipe for disaster, as I’d eat - and eat, and eat, and eat some more - and then sleep for days. And headaches. Always, always, headaches. 

(It had happened  _ once _ , when mother was working until late and I’d been left to my own devices. Needless to say, after the scolding I got, I wasn’t very eager to pull a stunt like that again so soon.)

For eight months, none of my parents had a solution for that. My chakra control meant that I’d have no problems with ninjutsu and maybe even genjutsu, but that wasn’t going to mean a thing if I couldn’t last five minutes into a battle. Mother had frowned at the seal on my forehead enough times to nearly make it combust spontaneously, and dived into old sealing scrolls whenever possible. Tooru, the goof, wondered if that wasn’t going to prevent me from being a ninja, which earned exasperated looks from all four of us. 

Which, okay, I could see his point. A ninja would be useless without stamina, no matter how powerful they may be. Not only that, but he was also trying to protect me from facing the harsh reality of our violent world, and I could appreciate that. Asuma and I were his baby siblings, and we both saw the look in his eyes whenever he thought we weren’t paying attention.

It didn’t mean that I’d stop trying.

(Perhaps Tooru and I had more in common than I’d ever thought possible before. Perhaps, he was sucking up the clan heir training for the same reasons I had decided to become hokage. It was certainly a nice thought to entertain.)

Finally, a couple of months after Asuma’s fourth birthday party, in which I may or may not have convinced my brothers to wear fancy yukatas, my mother came up with a solution, as she was always wont to do.

Although both Asuma and I were able to climb trees using chakra and had moved on to water walking, he still could do much more physical training than I could; barely an hour into stretches and running laps I’d have to stop and eat something while he continued on without any problems. Sometimes, it felt as if my brothers were running ahead of me, and that soon they’d be so far ahead I wouldn’t even have the time or chance to protect them.

Mother and father had agreed to not mess with my seal, because that could give me problems in the longer run, though they did say my excess of yin (spiritual) chakra was what was hindering my yang (physical) chakra from developing at the standard rate. I was told to work on my yang chakra by myself, through meditation, which yay, a solution, but boo, more meditation.

I sucked it up. I’d spend hours meditating in the morning, following my mother’s instructions and slowly, with painstaking care, weave my own yang chakra into the uneven seal on my forehead. It was going to take years of meditation before I was able to do half the things Asuma was able to, but it was a solution nonetheless, and I took what I could get. 

Mother had spent an entire hour lecturing me on how to actually do it, reminding me time and time again that, if I did it hastily, I could damage the seal and have to start the process all over again. 

Thanks, but no thanks.

The next five months passed by in a blur. My third birthday party came and went, and this time I could enjoy a family gathering again. By this point, it was an usual sight to see me walking Konoha streets with one or both of my brothers next to me, to civilians and shinobi alike. People would sometimes wave and coo at us, and each time we answered with a smile, because we had all been raised like that.

Mostly, the time spent on the streets was a mission.

Of course I enjoyed getting dango with Asuma, or picking up Tooru from the Academy. Whenever we were by ourselves, something in my muscles just seemed to relax naturally, as if my body knew that these people were safe, and I always enjoyed spending time with them.

Time, however, was something I could not afford to waste. The few memories and flashes I remembered were carefully written in codes and hidden beneath all my books and notebooks. Some of them were already starting to mix and look confusing, and I was not going to make a mistake just because I was unable to plan in advance. 

Getting to know people or simply observing them had become a bit of a hobby. I wondered at civilians, struggling to imagine what they thought of the ninja system and if they’d ever questioned it before. Highly unlikely, since brainwashing was done since birth and we weren’t really allowed to do it. Sometimes I’d also stare shamelessly at random shinobi in the streets, some going or coming from missions, others simply doing grocery shopping. There was always that sureness in their steps, like they were content to live in the village and serve a military dictator. 

Once, I had wandered into the least wealthy parts of town. It wasn’t even something I’d done on purpose; on my own, I had a reasonable amount of freedom to come and go as I pleased, and no one would bat an eye at a three year old walking alone through the streets, much less a clan one. The change in scenery was subtle, but I could see the way the buildings would become smaller and dirtier, the streets narrower and the atmosphere darker. I had been but a few steps from entering the Red Light District, if the sudden big fancy house in the middle of rundown houses was anything to go by, when a middle-aged woman gasped and quickly ran to my side.

I had sensed her looking warily at me from afar, yes, but I had hoped she’d leave me alone. No such luck, it seemed.

“Sarutobi-hime!” Irritation at both being caught and the nickname threatened to share my mask, but I bravered on. There would be another chance, I’d just have to be patient. “Y-you shouldn’t go over there, it’s dangerous! Why don’t you come with obasan and I’ll drop you off at the Hokage Tower?”

She had been a civilian around her forties, average looking in every possible way except her bright blue hair. She didn’t have any training whatsoever and her muscles weren’t developed, and I could see she was extremely nervous just by being there, body shaking and frantic eyes glancing everywhere at once.

Silly woman. If you were so afraid, then why did you wait so long to stop me?

Mentally, I sighed and let my anger evaporate. Taking her hand, she let out a huge breath of relief when I took her hand and all but dragged us out of there and into the bustling main street.

* * *

 

My life seemed to really start moving along a month after I turned three, and a week after the Red Light District Incident. A dark-haired officer had taken me to my house, where then my ear was thoroughly chewed off. It was decided that, as punishment for wandering into places I knew I wasn’t supposed to be, I’d spend a week helping Sasakibe-oji fill in unimportant forms and paperwork. It was time-consuming and boring work, but our dynamic had been established for over a year then, and the atmosphere we worked in was familiar and comfortable.

It wasn’t really a punishment, but I wouldn’t tell my parents that.

Four days into my paperwork-filling task, father was in a meeting with some jounins and Sasakibe-oji and I were seated at the desk in front of the office, silently working. It was going to be a slow day, I was sure, and nothing exciting would happen.

I was surprised out of my skin when a man suddenly shunshins inside the building, one with silver hair so wild it put Jiraya’s to shame, holding a kid with similar hair in his arms.

When I looked bewildered into the kids’ dark eyes and noticed a green scarf hiding a good portion of his face, it was like a metaphoric dam had broken in my mind.

_ ‘Well. Meeting Kakashi so early on can either be really good or really bad. May the Universe think it’s the former.’ _

 

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* * *

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter was full of monologues and explanations, but I want you guys to keep in mind some things about Chiyuki before the plot goes on:  
> She has issues with her mother, and although she loves and appreciates her, she also feels overwhelmed and controlled in her presence;  
> She has brothers complex;  
> Although selfish and arrogant, she is also kind-hearted, and it’s not until some time later that she’ll start to live and learn the hard way how life really is;  
> The memories of her past life are scattered and blurry because of the seal on her forehead, so often she won’t remember much about a character until she comes face to face with them.
> 
> I’d love to know what you think! Also, a question for you: who is your favorite Naruto antagonist and why?


	3. First Section - Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a price to be paid for everything in life, even things that are out of your control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the support so far! I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Also, you may notice I have switched between writing in the past and in the present. It makes me more comfortable, but do tell me if it bothers you.
> 
> You might recognize some sentences from this story’s previous version if you have read it. In this case, it simply means I based some of this story’s paragraphs from the other one.
> 
> One last thing before you read this chapter! One reviewer kindly pointed out my mistakes regarding yin and yang chakra. I do have to admit they made me slightly confused, and I tried to simplify them by focusing on their nature. Don’t worry, these are things I’ll explain in the next chapters.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

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First Section

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Chapter Two

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If I were to reflect back on it, my first meeting with Kakashi and his dad could have gone a lot better. Embarrassment aside, though, there wasn’t much I could have done about it. One moment I was working quietly on the paperwork assigned to me; in the next, I fell to the floor clutching my head, a piercing pain unlike anything I’d felt in both lives burning my brain from the inside out and making me scream.

But, well. I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s rewind a bit.

On the fourth day of my ‘punishment’, Hatake Sakumo appeared in a well-placed shunshin in front of the hokage’s office, carrying his son in his arms. I remember looking into Kakashi’s eyes and recognizing him, which had triggered a bunch of memories to flood my already overloaded mind. The result was such blinding and atrocious pain I was unable to do anything but fall to my knees.

First impressions are important, my mother had said. Always make sure people have a good one of you, she’d said.

“Chiyuki-hime!” In my vague memories, Sasakibe-oji was beside me in an instant, supporting my body with strong arms. There were other hands, as well; my father’s, no doubt having heard the commotion outside his office, as well as unknown hands hovering above my head. The pain briefly subsided, and I  might have felt relief for the presence of a medic-nin, but the pain was too much,  _ too much _ -

It’s an odd feeling, really, because I can still feel my hand throbbing, but I can’t feel people’s touches or hear their voices; it all sounds muffled, as if we were underwater. Although everything is dark and the air is heavy, I feel strangely at home here. Maybe it’s because there’s a part of me that knows I’m inside my own mind, and maybe this is just how the memories usually play out and I’ve forgotten how it feels like.

Suddenly, it’s like I’m inside a TV screen, watching as Kakashi’s life starts to play out: there’s a little boy with striking silver hair so painfully similar to his dad’s, the same dad he finds dead on the floor after a mission gone wrong. His genin team and their sensei; the missions they go on together and the bond he forms with them. Unbidden, helplessness and desperation fill up my throat in a painful way as that dreaded mission comes around, and the way he loses himself after Obito gives him his eye makes my heart hurt. I see him using the sharingan, and I see him piercing Rin with his chidori. I see the Kyuubi’s attack, and I see the way Minato dies. Kakashi tries to drown his emotions in ANBU, going back-to-back on suicidal missions and building a name for himself. Then, like a reluctant Sun, team 7 shows up in his life, and he becomes a reluctant and awkward teacher. I see the choices he makes; some good, some bad. The literal and the figurative mask he always wears no matter what. The day Sasuke leaves, and how he breaks again for losing another precious person. I watch as the war comes, and how he loses even more comrades. I see him become the Rokudaime Hokage.

And then, I see a boy. 

The film is over. In front of me stands three year old Kakashi, in the same clothes he was wearing when we first met. He doesn’t show any emotion, but that’s okay, because I know I’m feeling enough for the both of us.

And it chokes me up and tears me down from the inside out and again and all over again because this is Kakashi-

Kakashi, Kakashi, just a boy, just a boy who keeps losing people and doesn’t know how to stop it- 

_ Kakashi _ .

My eyes snap open and with a choked gasp, I sit up in one abrupt moment-

Only to immediately close my eyes again and cover them as much as possible with the palms of my hands. Something in me tells me it hurts, it hurts, my head, my  _ head- _

I feel like screaming-

It hurts, it hurts too much, a sob, too much, make it stop,  _ Kakashi- _

Suddenly, there is darkness and blissful sleep, and I welcome both with open arms.

* * *

Waking up for the second time is far easier. I feel slightly dizzy, but thankfully my head doesn’t hurt anymore. In the air, there’s the light smell of cleaning products, and a warm breeze caresses my skin somewhere to my right. Although there are no headaches, my limbs feel like jelly, unresponsive to my brain’s commands. A rustle, and I finally decide to open my eyes.

The white ceiling of the hospital room is painted with the colors of the twilight, shades of red and orange dancing before my unfocused eyes. In the quiet evening, I can hear two people breathing; myself, and my mother, her chakra swirling tensely next to me. 

Blinking and turning my head to the right, I come came face to face with my mother’s exhausted but relieved expression, and it somehow makes her look even older than she is. It was obvious she had been worried.

“Mother.” I try to whisper, throat raw and sore from disuse (Did I scream? Maybe. Probably. I do remember screaming. But at this point, which memories are real?). Swiftly, my mother hands me a glass with a straw, and the water going down her throat feels heavenly next to the last hellish hours. After coughing a little, I feel her firm hands gently guiding my body into a seating position. When I look into her eyes again, there’s the shadow of something I had never seen in them before, and I don’t know how to feel about that-

“You gave us quite the scare, child.” 

_ Oh. _

“Mommy.” The sob is out before I can even think of stopping it. Unbidden, all my walls come crumbling down as one. 

“Mommy.” My face is already a mess of snot and tears but mother doesn’t care, for once she doesn’t care, and between one heartbeat and the other I feel her arms tucking me against her chest, protecting me, guarding me. “ _ Mommy. _ ”

Like with my memories of Kakashi, it’s like a dam had broken and only now could I feel how much I had worried them. For my mother, always strong and stern, to admit such a thing with a small, scared voice?

“Mommy, mommy.” 

I just. Couldn’t. Stop. Crying. 

And it was too much. And it’s like- like all of my emotions decided to be overwhelming at the same time and it feels like drowning except I’m not and it feels too much and it hurts-

Too much, _ too much _ -

_ Kakashi- _

“Chiyuki,  _ breathe _ .” Biwako’s sharp command snaps me daughter out of it, and I belatedly realize I’d been hyperventilating. My mother’s thin but strong hands never once falter in their hold on her child, firm as the very own earth. 

“ _ Mommy _ .”

It doesn’t feel like showing weakness. And how could it be, when I feel my everstrong mother shaking just as much as me? It’s just too much, and yet-

“Shh, I know, I know. Breathe. It’s okay. I’m here, I’m right here.”

Yet, she makes it all bearable. 

(Not better, no, because she can’t make this better. She can’t make it better because it doesn’t feel like me beneath my own skin, and how would she fix that?)

Some time passes. It could have been seconds or minutes, but me, it feels like hours before the tears finally dry and the air easily enters my lungs again. In the silence of the hospital, everything feels surreal and floaty in a bad way.

_ ‘I am an adult, looking at a little girl who’d just had a breakdown and the worst part is that there wasn’t anything I could do because _ **_I was both the adult and the girl._ ** _ ’ _ I can’t help but think bitterly, still being rocked in my mother’s safe arms. _ ‘Rather, I am both my saviour and my worst enemy, as I am the only one who can fix this and make sure this doesn’t happen every time I meet a plot-relevant character.’ _

I hear my mother’s whispers telling me to sleep, to rest, but even though I’m tired, it’s not something sleep can fix.

I’m exhausted, and I want my old life back.

* * *

 

 

After spending nearly sixty hours in the hospital, I was finally released on a bright Monday morning, with chirping birds and a cloudless sky. It was still early enough that most people were only just beginning to go about their days, opening shops and getting ready to go out. Tooru, my precious sunshine incarnate, had insisted on waking up earlier just so he could pick me up, along with Asuma and our mother. I walk between both my brothers, one of their hands in the grasps of each of mine, sighing happily at the sun shining down on us.

Already, I can feel the difference. See, I wasn’t exactly scared of hospitals Before. Of course I didn’t like going to one, but I didn’t exactly mind either. If I needed to go, then I sucked it up and went. Needles and the smell of cleaning products never really bothered me; in fact, there was a part of me that knew I’d definitely get better if I saw a doctor, and I knew I’d be okay.

Getting out of the hospital and walking with my brothers for barely two minutes, however, has done much more than the doctors ever could.

_ ‘Ah. This is nice.’ _ I can’t help but think, and a smile easily finds its way to my mouth. Between Tooru and Asuma, I feel whole again. Back in the hospital, it felt as if I had forgotten my goals and dreams Here, like I was simply too tired to keep on. 

And yeah, it is a little worrying, because that was the first breakdown of many. There’s no way I’m going to allow myself to act like that everytime a flashback happens in the middle of the day. It just meant I was going to have to up my meditation game and… that’s all I can do, honestly. I can’t really tell anyone about the dreams, and I sure as hell can’t go to therapy. 

I was gonna have to go to war with the weapons I had on me, which might as well be nothing at all, but the mere presence of my brothers was enough to remind me of why I had chosen the most difficult path.

“Oh, Chiyuki-hime!” The voice that suddenly calls out to me is vaguely familiar, and I can’t pinpoint it until I turn around and see the middle-aged woman that ‘rescued’ me from the Red Light District. The civilian bows to my mother and my brothers, and the gaze she immediately fixes on me is so intense I feel a little uncomfortable.

“I am very sorry to interrupt you, Biwako-sama, but as soon as I saw Chiyuki-hime I just had to rush over.” Indeed, she does look and sound a little out of breath, face red and- 

Was she about to cry?

Both my brothers tense next to me, and I know they also sense she is about to shed a tear or two. The woman, however, keeps the waterworks at bay, and I can’t help but be impressed at the way she basically just ignored my mother to talk to me. Me!

What the hell, you crazy woman?

“When I stopped seeing you around the market I knew there was something wrong and oh, I was so worried! I’m so glad to see you well again, Hime!” I can feel mother’s curious stare burning a hole in my head, but despite my flaming cheeks, I manage a smile at the flustered woman.

“I’m sorry for worrying you, Satoru-san, but I’m fine.” To my utter horror, the middle-aged woman all but swoons, holding her cheek against her hand. Biwako merely raises a thin eyebrow and addresses the woman for the first time. 

“I was not aware my daughter was such a well-known figure, Satoru-san.” Satoru Mina manages to impress me even more as she proceeds to ignore the light warning in my mother’s tone, choosing instead to explain the situation.

_ ‘Thanks for the save, Satoru-san.’ _

“Oh, Biwako-sama, Chiyuki-hime is such a well-behaved child! Whenever she passes through the market she greets all of the merchants with a smile, and she is so polite!”

_ '...or not.' _

I almost sigh when mother nearly preens at all the praise, and it does nothing to me except turn my stomach into acid. Just when I think I’m safe from all the comparisons… and right when my brothers are present! This is not fair! 

(I knew I was being childish. I knew that. There was a voice in my head scolding me and saying that I was doing all the right things, building connections with shinobi and civilian alike. It would be great for my future position as hokage, I knew. Yet-

_ ‘Isn’t this what you wanted, Hime?’ _ It comes out as a sneer, but I return the expression.  

_ ‘Not at the expense of my brothers.’ _

I’m my own worst enemy, but I am also my strongest ally, and I  _ will _ succeed.)

“Ah, mother. I’m sorry, but didn’t father say he wanted to see us?” Asuma, the blessed child, smoothly interrupts the two women. I squeeze his hand in thanks, and relief floods me when he squeezes back. Really, my brothers are the best in the entire world, and I will fight whoever says otherwise. 

Biwako nods, and after a quick goodbye, we start our walk home once again. After a couple of minutes, we reach a bifurcation in the path; the left road continues onto the rest of the main street, where all the busy places are at, and the right road leads to Konoha’s residential area. Mother gains our attention as she turns to the three of us, expression serious as usual.

“Very well children, this is where we part ways. Tooru, please take your sister to the Hokage Tower before you head to the academy, as your father wishes to see her. Asuma and I will head home, where we shall continue his training.”

We part with waves and smiles, and I hug Asuma extra tight. My brother, to his credit, doesn’t even comment on it; merely hugs me back with as much strength. Then, Tooru and I head to the left, and his warm hand on mine feels right. It feels like I belong in my own skin again, like I’m whole and healthy again. It makes it that much more real.

“Right, so this is where I drop you off!” My brother’s bright voice brings me back to the present as I glance at the stairs leading to the hokage’s office, where father was apparently waiting for me. Sometimes, I felt like he was abusing of his power; then, I remember I will probably do the same. “Don’t get lost on the road of life, mhmm?”

Tooru winks as I roll my eyes affectionately, but I promise him I’ll be good either way. As my brother turns on his heel and heads to the academy, he gives me another wink and a cheeky grin. The cute little shit.

“Just go already niisan, or you’ll be late.”

“Sure, sure! See you later, Peanut!”

After making sure he’s heading the right way, I step towards the hokage’s office, curiosity dominating my mind and making me wonder just what my father could possibly want with me. I get that he’d want to see me, but did I really need to come all the way to his office? Couldn’t he wait until evening?

_ ‘Well, I do want to apologize to Sasakibe-oji. This is as good an opportunity as any.’ _

Recognizable mops of silver hair freeze me on the stop just as I reach the last floor. Standing next to Sasakibe-oji’s desk are both Hatakes, and Sakumo looks like he’s going to run the hell out of here at any moment. Kakashi just looks bored. 

“Chiyuki-hime.” My father’s secretary stands in one smooth movement, and I don’t have time to be jealous as I forget myself and run into his arms, relishing in the familiar smell of paper and ink.

“I’m sorry I worried you, Sasakibe-oji. I’m all better now.” 

“It is alright, Hime. What matters is that you are fine now.” I thank all the forces in the Universe for the way his robes cover my face and muffle my voice, because until that moment I hadn’t realized how much I adored him, and how much I’d missed him.

_ ‘Ah, Sasakibe-oji. I kinda want you to be my secretary, too.’ _

A quiet cough comes from Sakumo, and the older man finally releases me. I can’t help but giggle at the way he light pats down my short overalls, smoothing down wrinkles. Then, I turn to the two awkward men in front of me, so very similar to one another. I blink, remembering my manners before anyone can rattle me out to my mother.

“Ah, I’m very sorry for the rudeness and for startling you the other day. My name is Sarutobi Chiyuki and I am pleased to meet you two.” In a such a swift bow my mother was sure to be proud of, I introduce myself and apologize to them. Sakumo looks even more uncomfortable, although he tries to hide it. His son just looks even more bored.

“It is our pleasure, Hime. And please don’t apologize, we’re just glad you’re better. I’m Hatake Sakumo, a friend of your father’s, and this is my son, Kakashi. C’mon, son, say hi.”

The last part was said in a bit of a hushed tone, as if the father had had to repeat it many times. Somehow, I can tell Kakashi would sigh heavily if his dad wasn’t right next to him, but he just blinks and in a very deadpan voice says,

“Hi.” This time, his dad does sigh, and nudges his son in my direction.

“Well kids, I need to talk to the hokage for a moment. I’ll be right back. Hime, would you mind keeping Kakashi company? He’s shy and doesn’t have many friends- ouch! Don’t pinch me!”

I laughed despite the situation I found myself in. Seeing those two interact was even better than I could have imagined, and it reminds me a little bit of the teasing between my brothers and I. 

“Of course, Hatake-san.”

“Ah, just Sakumo is fine.”

“Okay, just-Sakumo-san.”

The man is about to knock on my father’s door, but then his brain catches up to what I said and he playfully narrows dark eyes at me. I can’t help but giggle again.

Then, he’s inside the office and an awkward silence settles in the corridor. For a few moments, Kakashi and I just stare at each other, unsure of what to do next. 

_ ‘Alright, okay, fuck. What the hell do I do with a three year old Kakashi? Has he joined the academy yet? What do we talk about??’ _

Sasakibe-oji, my saviour, shuffles his papers and lightly suggests we go to the roof while we wait for our fathers, since it’s such a nice day out. We both shrug, seeing as there was nothing much we could have done, and we climb the flight of stairs that leads to the roof.

The roof at the hokage’s tower is nice and open, and I knew father sometimes held super secret meetings here. The day was indeed very nice, as Konoha’s summer was in full swing. There was a light breeze, and I took the time to close my eyes and breathe in.

“I'm not calling you Hime.” Aaand there it is. It's the first thing he says to me, as soon as he realizes we’re both alone. He looks at me defiantly, despite being shorter than me, and I suddenly realize he's measuring me up. Testing the waters. He's not being spiteful, just... a little shit. A cute and suspicious little shit. I shrug, not really caring one way or another.

“I don't really care. Just call me Chiyuki. Adults are weird.” Just like that, the invisible wall he built between us crumbles, and his small body visibly relaxes. I had known Kakashi was a prodigy at around Itachi's level, but this was just ridiculous. What kind of life has this boy been living? Why is he already suspicious of everything?   
  


Deciding that it would be no good to dwell on it, I fall silent, and a comfortable silence settles between us. Wordlessly, we decide to sit down, with Kakashi on the shade and me right next to him, on the sunny side of the roof. My internal clock suddenly warns me I need to eat soon, so I take out a packet of crackers from one of my many pockets and offer one to the boy next to me. I nearly giggle when he stares at it and silently grabs one, hesitating only a second before lowering his scarf and taking a bite of it.

Knowing how sensitive he was about his face, I make sure to turn around and start eating my own crackers, and I feel him lightly relax. While he sluggishly slides down the wall after putting his scarf back, I take my time in wondering about this new development, and how things might play out from here on out.

Kakashi and I are the same age, though he's a tad shorter than me, and already wears a green scarf to cover half of his face. He had taken it off to eat, not bothering to try and hide his face further from my view after that second of hesitation, and the thought is flattering. It's as if he knew I wouldn't make a big deal out of it, even though I could clearly see how pretty he is and how flattering the mole next to his mouth is. His hair, slightly darker than his dad's, is as untamed as it can possibly be, but it suits him. He seems... a little bit suspicious of everything, yes, but I suppose that's partly his nature and partly his shinobi training. Not only that, but he's a prodigy – if I’m not mistaken, he graduates really early from the academy, at age 5. 

My thoughts take me to another direction as I let my mind wander aimlessly; his dad is obviously an old friend of my father, and a loyal ninja to the village. He greatly values friendship and must have instilled those teachings into his son, even though Kakashi doesn't seem to have many friends. Well, neither do I, but if there's something I absolutely refuse to do is play with real toddlers who cry and whine for everything. Maybe Kakashi and I do have a lot in common, after all. 

Maybe I can make this friendship work. 

“Kakashi.” I call out, and he immediately snaps his eyes open and looks at me curiously. “I know it's a bit out of the blue, but if I ask something, will you answer truthfully?”

He scrunches up his face adorably, and I imagine the mole near his mouth following the pout his lips do. Suspicious Kakashi makes an expected appearance.

“Why?”

“Because it's an important question to me.” 

He stares at me for a few seconds, probably trying to judge whether I'll ask something about his clan or dad, but when he finds nothing he hesitantly nods. 

“I can't promise I'll be honest, but I'll try my best.” It’s good enough for me.

“What do you think is a hokage's job?” If the boy had been expecting something, this certainly hadn't been it. He furrows his eyebrows, taking his time to organize his thoughts. If I hadn't said this was important, he might have scoffed and thrown an out-of-the-book answer at me, but he's clearly thinking deeply about it, and for the first time I truly appreciate prodigies. I could never have this kind of conversation with any other kid my age, except maybe for Asuma.

“I think a hokage's job is to keep the balance between the shinobi population and the civilian one.” I smile and motion for him to continue. I  _ knew _ I had been right to ask him. “There are a bunch of strong ninja, and if that's all it took to be hokage, we'd have many more candidates. There needs to be a balance, I think, between physical strength, political knowledge and strategies. We're supposed to be the nice village, so on top of all that, the hokage needs to make sure there are enough alliances and open roads to merchants so our economy can prosper.” 

He then shrugs, sounding a bit hesitant to end his speech. “It's a hard job. I don't think just anyone can do it.”

“Wishing for it isn't enough.” I muse, and he nods, seemingly relieved I wasn't offended by it. I let my body slide down the wall in a similar fashion to is, absent-mindely reaching for another cracker and munching on it. Unsurprisingly, he'd given me a lot to think about. I really wanted to ask my mother what she thought, but she'd no doubt get suspicious, and while I know she would never push me to be something I didn't want to be, she'd inevitably get expectations. That, and I wasn't exactly sure if she'd approve fully of it. She of all people knew how worn out hokages were.

I had also refrained from mentioning anything to my father and my brothers. I knew they’d support me, and yet… I wanted to be absolutely sure of it when I told them. I didn’t want it to be viewed as a kid’s dream, fueled by my father’s position and the power that came with it.

“Are you planning on it?” Kakashi tries his best to look as uninterested as possible, and even though his face is almost entirely covered, something in his eyes gives him away. 

I shrug, briefly wondering how much I could tell him. “I don't know. I've been thinking about it.”

“Why?”

“What?” Bewildered, I look at him. Mother would surely scold me for my lack of eloquence.

“Why are you considering it?” He elaborates, and I shrug again. The action often resembles my state of mind, scattered and unsure.

“I love this village. Not just in a 'oh this is a nice place to live in' way, but in a 'I want to see this place grow and for people to speak wonders about it' way. It's a bit of a far fetched thing to think about but. I don't know. It's hard to explain.”

“Try me.” Some would say Kakashi's dark orbs are inexpressive, especially when half-lidded. Right now, though, I beg to differ. I have never seen eyes shine brighter than his. Why would he even be interested in it, though, I have no idea.

“Konoha is a good place to live, but it could be _great_. The potential is there, we just haven’t reached it yet. I just… I want this village to grow. Make alliances with other ninja villages. Attract merchants and tourists. I want to make medical care available for everyone, and I want to set new guidelines for the homeless and the Red Light Distric. I want shinobi and civilians alike to be happy to live and serve the so called 'nice' village, not out of obligation, but out of love.”

I sigh heavily. Holding Kakashi's gaze seems impossible. Saying the words out loud makes me realize how childish and unrealistic this dream of mine is. 

“It's an unrealistic dream.” I shrug again. 

“It is. But not impossible.” Involuntarily, I feel my face scrunch up in a disbelieving frown. I had never expected the boy to be conceding, of all things. He scoffs, crossing his arms.

“Don't look at me like that. It's a very unrealistic dream, yes, and no matter how hard you try, things may never be quite like you wanted them to, but you can get very close.” And then he looks at me, and looks so much wiser than a three year old had any right to be. The silver haired boy considers me carefully for a couple of seconds, and if mother hadn't looked at me worse, I'd have squirmed under his gaze.

“If you choose to be hokage, I'll support you.”

Just like that, Kakashi blows my mind to smithereens and leaves without bothering to clean up the mess.

* * *

 

“I never knew you and that Hatake kid were friends, Peanut.” Oh, Tooru, you precious child. Always trying so hard to be nonchalant and failing. 

“We've been friends for a few months already, Tooru-nii. You need to keep up with your social circle.” My oldest brother splutters, choking on his rice for a few seconds. No one even bats an eyelash. 

It’s been three months since The Hospital Incident and, thankfully, there haven’t been anymore flashbacks. It’s something that won’t last long, I know, and I try to appreciate every night well-slept.

“You! Where have you been learning that kind of thing?!” He points his chopsticks at me accusingly, and I barely manage to hold in a giggle. Asuma snorts quietly beside me. (Mother quickly swats Tooru’s hand and tells him to not use eating utensils to point at people, and he mumbles an apology.) 

“People around father use a lot of different words.” Even though that was clearly a social cue for him to join in the conversation, father simply continues to chew leisurely, face full of contentment. Lately, he's been working harder than ever, and due to the serious nature of his meetings, I haven't been able to spend too long around his office. I vaguely remember a big conflict is close, most likely the Third Great War, and I try to swallow down the nausea. 

_ 'Focus on the present, Chiyuki.'  _

Mother nods, taking my side. “Expanding your vocabulary and having good friends have never been bad things, Tooru. Both of you should follow in your younger sister's example.”

I try my very best not to cringe, I swear I do, but from mother’s warning look I haven't done a very good job at it. I catch Tooru's eyes and he winks, showing me it's okay. Asuma doesn't even seem to have heard. The unease lessens, but does not fade.

“Now come on, hurry up and finish lunch, the three of you. We have training to do.”

Well, that brightens up my mood considerably. Today's Saturday, which means all three siblings have mother’s entire attention during the afternoon. Apparently, she had insisted on taking a day off every week to supervise our training and overlook our progress closely. It was both exhilarating and scary.

Soon enough, all three ducklings are standing in front of three identical shadow clones of our mother, while the original watches the whole things with hawk eyes from the veranda. We're all gonna have different tasks for the day, and the thought brings a bitter smile to my face; I doubt many other clan kids had a personalized training such as ours.

“Come, Tooru, we will need space. Today, you will learn a new earth jutsu.” Even if I hadn't been standing right next to him, I would be able to feel his grin from afar. “Don't get too excited until you master it, child.”

“Yes, mother!” One of mother's clone then leaves with Tooru in tow, who gives us a wide grin and a thumbs up, probably to go to the most deserted part of the clan's compound, near the woods. 

“Asuma,” Biwako's other clone begins, sensing no need to waste time, “today I will teach you how to manage your wind nature.” 

_ 'So this is how the whole thing starts,' _ I muse. In the Other Narutoverse, Asuma had been capable of wielding knife-like brass knuckles, whose power could be enhanced with his wind chakra. It had been nothing short of amazing.

“Chiyuki. Today, we will find out your chakra nature. The next steps of your training will be based off of this, therefore it is important you do not slack off.”

That single sentence is enough to make goosebumps appear on my skin and the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. Involuntarily, I grin widely, and my mother's clone chuckles.

It's a ninja world. A violent, military one. This is basically the start of my ninja career, stamina and chakra balance aside. Mother had already told me I’d probably be good at ninjutsu and perhaps genjutsu with my chakra control, and I was looking forward to it. This is the first step to assure my survival in a foreign, unpredictable world, and if I was planning on messing up the storyline as much as I did, I sure as hell needed to be two steps ahead of- well, whoever my enemies turned out to be.

Mother-clone sits both of us down on a nice patch of shade under a giant apple tree in our backyard, across from each other. Her gaze is serious and unrelenting, leaving no space for me to try anything less than my absolute best. Wordlessly, she gives me a piece of blank paper that looks average, at first. Upon touching it, however, I find out it’s thinner than most papers, resembling those people used to draw on Before.

“Now, focus and let some of your chakra out into the paper. Depending on what happens to it, we will know your chakra nature.”

With a giddy smile, I wasted no time in following her instructions.

.

* * *

 

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. I’m not sure how I feel about this chapter. I’ve rewritten it so many times ugh. The plot didn’t advance much and it feels mostly like a mess of angst and philosophy and too many explanations, but at the same time I tell myself it’s necessary for the readers to understand just how much Chiyuki wants to be hokage, and all that entails. I can’t assure you she knows exactly what she’s doing, but her heart is in the right place. I’ve got big plans for her, you wait and see! Also, I swear that on the next chapter things will get more interesting. It’s when the academy finally starts, after all. ;)
> 
> On another note, a friend of mine asked if I thought Chiyuki was a genius, or even a prodigy. My answer is no, and I’ll explain why: Chiyuki is certainly talented, yes, but how much of that talent would still be there if she were a normal girl, without memories of a past life? And that is how I measure things, because she has a slight advantage when it comes to life lessons. There are some lessons she has already learned in her previous life, so she has no reason to make the same mistakes again, and that might be viewed as maturity and intelligence. Without those flashes and memories, she would still be talented, but no more so than your average clan kid. 
> 
> I would still love to hear your opinion about it, though! And I’ve got yet another question: who is your favorite kage, and why?


	4. First Section - Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chiyuki finally learns her chakra release, but the new information is both a blessing and a curse. Mostly a curse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, y'all! Thank you so much for your love and support!
> 
> Someone asked me why I chose Shisui as her love interest (I’m so sorry but I don’t remember who you are) and the answer is quite long, because it was something I considered for a while. At first, I thought about not pairing her up with anyone because I felt it wasn’t really necessary. Then, I thought about how interesting it’d be if she got involved with a number of people but never really settling down. And then, I was watching Itachi Gaiden for the millionth time and it was like a light bulb turned on in my head. In general, I think Chiyuki and Shisui would complement each other well, because while they have similar thoughts regarding the village, they are very different people. Either way, Chiyuki’s in for a long ride before we see some ShiChiyu.
> 
> Also, you may have noticed this already, but Chiyuki does not cover her seal, not only because she's comfortable with it but also because people simply don't ask her about it. Later on, we'll see that as she enters the academy and gets to know many people in a short time span, she'll have to decide between covering it or explaining it to curious children every time. Stay tuned!
> 
> (Remember I said the Academy began this chapter? I lied. Please don’t hurt me.)
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

 

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

.

First Section

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Chapter Three

 

.

* * *

 

.

I’m thankful I don’t need to focus too much on chakra control, being giddy would surely not help me any if I needed to concentrate. Alas, almost effortlessly my chakra obeys me, easily going from its core near my heart to my hands, then to the paper-

-which promptly turns into metal.

_ ‘What the fuck.’ _

As if it burned me, I drop it to the floor, feeling my mother’s bewilderment and her heavy gaze on my face.

I can’t breathe.

_ ‘No. No normal chakra release does that. No. Absolutely not. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK.’ _

For a brief moment, I close my eyes tightly, pinching my arm and muttering a ‘kai’ to make sure I’m not dreaming or stuck in a genjutsu. My heart clenches and my vision becomes blurry when I realize I’m not that lucky.

_ ‘No. No. This can’t be possible. No, please, no.’ _

(But it is. The paper, now turned into a thin piece of metal glints in the sunlight, as if mocking me.)

_ ‘No. I can’t afford to have such a stupid chakra release in this godforsaken world. They’ll try to- gods, what if they think this is a kekkei genkai? Worse, what if- _

_ -what if they think I’m like Hashirama’s second coming?’ _

I can’t breathe.

_ ‘I don’t want this I don’t want this I DON’T WANT THIS-’ _

“Chiyuki!” Once again, my mother’s tense voice snaps me out of my thoughts. Belatedly, I realize my cheeks are wet. Was I crying?

“Breathe.” Under her sharp gaze, I take a deep breath, the sudden movement making me cough.

“Easy. Again.” 

Biwako is much, much calmer than I am, and it’s a relief. I don’t trust myself in this moment, not after…

(Stubbornly, I refuse to look at the innocent-looking piece of metal.)

It feels like an eternity before my mind feels clearer. There’s a dull headache making my head throb, but it’s nothing compared to what I used to feel, so I focus on the white elephant lying on the grass.

“Mother.” I rasp out, and involuntarily make a face. Had I been yelling, as well?

_ ‘Well, great. Fucking wonderful. This day just keeps getting better and better.’ _

“Mother,” I look into her eyes, so serious and focused, and somehow I’m not surprised to see fear in them. Fear for me, for my safety. “Mother, I don’t want this. Please, I don’t want- I can’t-”

“Hush, child.” One of her hands come to rest briefly on my forehead, making the headache go away. 

My mother is struggling. In her stormy eyes I see fear, pride, and a strong sense of determination made obvious by the set of her jaw. I can almost hear her thoughts clashing against one another, analysing every piece of information and coming up with solutions. Yet, not even once she strays her gaze from mine, probably sensing that I just… can’t afford to freak out. Not again.

While she sorts out her thoughts, I meditate. Still keeping my eyes open I let my senses take in all they are able to, from how hot it is to the cold breeze that indicates summer is almost over; how green and lively our backyard is, and how gracefully the grass succumbs to the wind’s whims; my mother’s firm but gentle hands on my shoulders, grounding me and preventing me from panicking again; the smell of earth and freshly-cut grass and my mother’s particular smell, a mix of sandalwood and ink that still manages to soothe me no matter how overwhelming she can be at times.

“Chiyuki.” Something goes off in my head at her voice. It’s quiet, hesitant, and it’s something that doesn’t fit Biwako. At all. “Pay attention, child, for this is of the utmost importance.”

I have no other option left but to nod, showing her I understand. And oh, how I understand. My life is taking a turn for the worse, and I’m the only one to blame.

“What just happened is something unheard of.” She pauses, and dread fills my gut. This is not like my mother. 

(THIS IS NOT LIKE MY MOTHER.)

I swallow loudly, throat even dryer than before. My mother sighs heavily, as if the entire weight of the world is on her tiny shoulders - and, hell, it might as well be. 

“I can only thing of one other person who had a similar situation,”

_ ‘Please no.’ _

“-and that person is-”

_ ‘No.’ _

“the Shodaime, Senju Hashirama.”

_ ‘Gods, please, no.’ _

I feel light-headed. Kinda like when your blood pressure drops and you’re just about to pass out, but worse. 

So, so much worse.

“Calm down, child, I am not finished.” Thin, long fingers are brushing away the second wave of tears, and relief beyond me floods through my body when I see Biwako has gained her sense of self back. She’s my mother again - strong, confident, wise, and sure of every step she takes. I nearly cry again.

“It is a delicate situation, yes, but it is not all that bad. Your chakra release is something that’s a mix of two others, and that might just be the result of your unbalanced chakra.”

Glorious air fills my lungs. What she says makes sense. There is hope.

(There is  _ hope _ .)

“I have the suspicion one of them might be earth, but I’m not sure about the second one. I will study some more about the seal I placed on you and how it might have affected your chakra release. In the meantime, you will not fear it, or let it become your enemy. You will practice it and conquer it, because it is yours, Chiyuki. It is yours to tame and yours to turn it into something to be feared by others, not you.”

My mother smiles at me. It’s little and weary, but it’s also filled with strength I do not have yet.

“Whatever the outcome of all this, I want you to know I’m proud of you, and will always be. The same can be said for your father and your brothers. You are not alone, child.”

Even though I’m still uncertain and a little scared of what this might imply, breathing is a little easier, and that’s enough for now.

* * *

My fourth birthday came by faster than I'd expected, and with that came a myriad of emotions I wasn't quite ready for. For one, it meant my somewhat peaceful days were over. My parents had already upgraded my training, to fit both my meditation regarding yang chakra and what we had dubbed as ‘Iron Release’. Father had been both proud and horrified, and for now we were still keeping the whole thing under wraps.

Not only that, but if my maths were correct, Asuma would be going to the academy soon enough, which means I'd have to choose between convincing my parents to let me join in one year early or wait for my own time.

Meditating became something I did more and more often each passing day.

“What's this?” Peeking from behind my shoulder, Asuma and Tooru look curiously at the scrolls on my desk and the little notebook full of explanations and definitions. They must have just finished their training, if the smell of earth and sweat is anything to go by, but there's just something utterly  _ familiar _ about it that prevents me from being the slightest bit disgusted about it.

“Father gave me these to study today. He's gonna quiz me later on.”

I can  _ feel _ their eyebrows shooting up to their hairlines, a dubious look passing between them before I turn around to face my brothers before either have the chance to open their mouth.

_ 'It's now or never.' _

“Tooru-nii, Asuma-nii, I’m going to be hokage.”

A storm of emotions go through their young faces. If the situation were any less serious I’d have laughed at how in synch they are, emotions ranging from surprise, worry and understanding until it finally settles on a half-hesitant, half-worried expression.

_ 'Huh. I'd have thought they’d be happier about it.' _

My thoughts must have showed on my face because soon enough I feel Tooru’s heavy hand ruffling my hair, my bangs free for once, and a heavy sigh escaping Asuma’s lips. They look at each other for a brief moment longer before our oldest brother turns to adress me.

“Ah, Peanut. It’s not that we’re not happy or proud, because we are. I always knew you were destined to be great.” There’s something about the tone of his voice that makes my stomach churn uncomfortably, but I don’t dare interrupt him yet. He needs to get it off his chest. “It’s just that… is this what you really want?” 

He and Asuma sit directly in front of me on the floor, choosing to ignore the fact there's no cushion for them to sit on. Asuma makes himself comfortable, sitting cross-legged and resting his chin on one of his hands, while Tooru leans forward with pinched eyebrows. I bite my lower lip, briefly wondering how I'm gonna explain this to my most precious people - and make sure they understand I want to walk next to them, not in front of them. 

“Konoha is good, but it can be great. I love it here, and I want to see it grow and prosper and I...” I pause, hoping no one is listening but lowering my voice anyway. “There are many things I wanna change. Things that don't seem right to me.”

“Such as?”

Surprisingly, it’s Asuma who asks, a calculating expression on his face. I shrug, trying to buy time. I couldn't exactly tell them I want to change ANBU completely and hunt down Tsunade so she can take over the Health System. I wasn't even supposed to know ANBU existed.

“I want to build an entire new health system, for one. Since Tsunade left the village, the hospital has been severely understaffed even if she hadn't been doing surgeries. There's also the fact some shinobi refuse to go to the hospital and/or stay there for a decent recovery time, which is also a problem.”

I don't think they’re aware of it, but both my brothers are staring at me with furrowed eyebrows and an open mouth, and it makes me oddly self-conscious. I fiddle with my bangs.

_ 'Just imagine you’re like that ice princess. Conceal, don't feel. Don't let them know.' _

Before I can say anything, though, Asuma schools his expression back to his 'bored neutral' look and gives me an assessing look. This is a terrible time to notice he looks just like mom when he does that. Tooru still has his mouth open, and I worry a fly is gonna enter it.

“You've given this a lot of thought.” The middle sibling muses out loud, and I fiddle with my pencil to keep my hands occupied.

I hum. “Yeah. For the past year or so.”

Tooru finally snaps out of it, and gives me an odd look. He seems like he wants to say something but then decides against it and sighs heavily, running a hand through his wild brown hair.

“Well, Peanut-”

“Tell me.” I interrupt, and he turns dark eyes to me. In his face, a hint of amused surprise, but he's managing his poker face well.

“Mhm?”

Before I can stop myself, I roll my eyes and lean forward impatiently. An amused smirk lets me know he knows exactly what I'm talking about. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Asuma rolling his eyes as well, but I can tell he’s curious too.

“You were going to say something. So do it.”

Asuma shakes his head, thick dark hair moving around as he does. “I swear, you're like a mini-mom.” I wave in his direction, a clear 'I know so please get to the point already' gesture. Tooru chuckles, but then looks oddly hesitant, not like he was when I mentioned I wanted to be hokage. This feels different.

“I was just thinking that maybe this is what you and Kakashi talk about when you run off to plot.”

_ Ah. _

So this was it. Whether he's jealous or offended I hadn't come to him first, I can't tell, but the sight of his young face struggling not to frown makes my heart squeeze painfully. Next to him, Asuma’s face flashes with understanding and then a look of deep concentration. My body automatically reacts, and neither brother fights the bear hug they suddenly receive.

“Hey, now.” I hear Asuma mumble before he adjusts himself slightly, so we can hug each other more comfortably. Toory remains silent, and my heart squeezes painfully.

“I'm sorry. It’s not that I don’t trust you two.” Distinctly, I feel their hands rubbing my back up and down in a lazy motion, and I hide my face in the crook of Tooru’s neck. By now, the sweat has dried from their skin but it's still just like home.

_ Tooru and Asuma smell like home. _

.

_ (Taking off the hokage hat, I arrive just in time to prepare for a little cannonball to attach itself on my legs. _

_ “Welcome home, Yuki!” _

_ Asuma and Kurenai's daughter looks just like her mother, but the way she walks is Sarutobi through and through. _

_ Not one to be left behind, Konohamaru sprints towards me as well, and soon enough I have an armful of children. _

_ “Welcome home.” Tooru says amusedly from his seat on the couch, and Asuma and Kurenai smile at me. _

Home _.) _

.

“Why are you even apologizing?”

“I didn't want to upset you, it's just that I had figured I'd tell you after really thinking about it.”

“...why?”

All three siblings know the answer to that.

“I was afraid I'd change my mind if I had told you before.”

There was something that we had never talked about, but everyone knew it was there: us siblings were much closer to each other than to our parents. It might have been simply an unfortunate turn of events, caused both by father’s absence and mother’s strictness, but whether that was good or bad, it was just how things came to be. I trusted my brothers with my life and many of my secrets; I could only truly be myself around them, and them alone. They had been my everything back when I didn't even know what was happening, and their opinions matters greatly to me. If either had somehow implied that they didn’t want me to do it, I can't assure I wouldn't have listened.

Above me, our oldest brother sighs heavily, tightening his hold on me for a second. Asuma does the same.

“I hope you know we don't hesitate because we think you can't do it.”

I nod, holding my precious brothers back just as tightly.

“I do. And I hope you know I want you both next to me. All the way, till the end.”

If it’s somehow possible, Tooru tightens his hold even more, making it slightly difficult to breathe. No one bothers to move.

“We do.”

 

* * *

The Naka Rivers runs through Konoha in different widths throughout its length, but unless it rains it’s a very calm river – non-ninja kids often play in the most shallow parts, while some of the deepest ones are used to practice water-walking.

“How do you do it so easily?” Kakashi mumbles under his breath, a sullen look hidden by the mask on his face. Next to me, he looks like a kicked wet puppy, hair and clothes dripping wet. Apparently, even prodigies struggle with chakra control exercises.

“Apparently, I have crazy chakra control. Mother taught me how to do it last month.” My friend huffs, refusing to ask for help even though there’s clearly nothing wrong with it. Another odd thing with prodigies is the fact they always want to get things right on their own, so I leave him to his devices while walking slowly over to the other side of the river, making sure to keep a close eye on both my chakra levels and my feet. 

While my stamina levels have gotten better during the last months, I’m nowhere near Asuma’s level. It frustrates me more than I would like it to, meditation often helps me shrug it off. If I have time to be upset about it, I have time to work on it.

_ ‘Speaking of working on it…’ _

I stare at the fish leisurely swimming in the clear water, not really seeing them. Inside my hoodie’s kangaroo pocket there is a small but very much solid metal ball, cold to the touch but that immediately warms up with the slightest exposure to chakra. Mother had somehow gotten it for me from a swordsmith, and had told me to practice my chakra release on it. Multiple times a day, I was to hold the ball and mold it in as many shapes as I could until it became as natural as breathing - hidden from most eyes inside my hoodie’s pocket, of course.

It’s getting colder now, and it finally feels like autumn is here. Leaves are slowly turning to warm shades of brown and many merchants are rushing to grab fresh products while they still can. I’m suddenly thankful for how mild winters usually are in the Land of Fire, else I was sure my body would suffer even more trying to keep up with my training while keeping itself warm.

I palm the solid ball in my pocket, distractedly shaping it into a star. Weeks ago, father had come up with the idea to mold chakra using different hand signs, specific for each chakra release. Mother had agreed, and that was how we found out my ‘Iron Release’ is a mix of earth and fire chakra. They aren’t really uncommon in the Land of Fire, and I’m still at a bit of an advantage with how much it fits the country we live in even if I can’t use them separately. 

_ ‘Baby steps, I suppose.’ _

Despite my freak out and despair those months ago, I had slowly gotten used to it. I’m not thrilled, and I still kinda wish I’d gotten a more normal chakra release, but beggars can’t be choosers. Mother was convinced my unbalanced chakra was the reason for this mess and was sure I’d make the most of it, but father was strangely apprehensive about it. Thankfully, my brothers thought it was the coolest thing in the world, which was something I’d worried greatly about.

As I shaped the metal object into a poor version of a dog, I thought back on all the design scrolls hidden on my desk. I’m not very good at drawing, never was, but I’m still proud of the detailed armor drawn on one of the better-hidden scrolls. It was something heavily inspired by Before’s knights, very different to the armor samurais and ninja wear. Not only that, but I had also convinced Tooru to help me with the design of a solid iron club, identical to what an oni would use. It was supposed to be heavy and big, and what a sight wouldn’t that make?

_ ‘Mhmm. I wonder if I can turn my body into iron? Or maybe extend my limbs using my oh-so-special chakra release? That would certainly be useful for medium and long-range combat…’ _

“I can hear you thinking about something complicated. Stop that.” Kakashi’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and while he’s successfully standing up on water, he hasn’t moved any closer to me. It puts me at ease, honestly. I got lost in my thoughts very often, and I needed to be careful with my (admittedly poor) sensor skills so that I’d still be able to sense someone approaching even if I wasn’t actively paying attention to it. It’s easier than I’d imagined, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s  _ easy _ , and required a certain amount of constant attention.

“It’s stronger than me.” I reply cheekily, and he rolls his eyes at me. Internally, I tuck all thoughts away, and make a mental note to ask mother if she thought it would be possible.

“You’re going to be such an air-headed hokage.”

My grin widens just as my chest swells with warmth. It never ceases to amaze me how certain about this whole hokage thing Kakashi is.

“I’ll have you to protect me, won’t I?” He scoffs, crossing his arms, but doesn’t deny it.

_ ‘I hadn’t ever thought little Kakashi would be so cute.’ _

_. _

_ (In one of the darkest corners of my mind, an image forms. Myself, wearing the hokage hat, looking down at a kneeling, bloodied Kakashi, who was wearing the ANBU gear. _

_ “It has been done, Hokage-sama.” _

_ His voice sounds so much different. It's deeper, yes, but strangely neutral. Dead. As if the Kakashi standing before me is merely a shell of who he once was. _

_ I stomp the image down before it can go further than that.  _ **_I would not_ ** _ have other people dirty their hands for me.) _

.

I needed to be careful about teasing him, though. While he was very lenient towards myself (granted, we were each other’s only friend, but eh), there were still his shinobi and genius pride that prevented him from reacting amusedly to teasing, instead choosing to pout and frown until I apologized. I hadn’t ever said it out loud, but that was adorable as well.

All of a sudden, Kakashi frowns minutely, then dark eyes widen in realization.

“Oh, no.” He whispers, and it's the only warning we have before something green moves too fast for either of our eyes to catch. It meets my friend’s fist head on, and I can only gape at the sight.

_ 'Gai?!' _

As both of them move to solid ground in a flurry of movements, neither talking despite Gai's grin, I look around the area, checking there’s no one but us. Keeping an eye on the blur of green and blue sparring in front of me, I choose a nice tree to sit under, thinking about what this new development could mean.

I hadn't know Kakashi and Gai had known each other for this long – hell, for all I know, they might have known each other for longer than Kakashi and I. It brings a strange sense of relief to me, to know that the silver haired boy had a friend like Gai from such a tender age. Watching the fight unfold, it's really easy to let yourself be amazed at the sight. Gai's fast, no doubt, but my friend learns at an absurd speed. There's nothing the older boy does that catches him off guard twice.

.

_ (The image changes. Gai has joined Kakashi, kneeling and bloodied.) _

_ I  _ **_refuse_ ** _ to think any more about this. _

.

I blink, and the fight is over, with Kakashi as the winner. Both are panting, but the taijutsu user has a wide grin on his face despite losing. Kakashi may be frowning, but from the way his chakra is swirling at a comfortable pace inside his coils, I know he's happy. I feel a smile tugging at my lips at the casual banter they keep up as they slowly walk over to where I am, and both of them flop down unceremoniously on the soft grass.

“I must apologize for nearly hitting you, Youthful Flower! Are you a friend of my Eternal Rival's?”

His smile is nearly blinding, but even at this age I have to admire Gai; not everyone would have the patience and determination he has with Kakashi. I easily smile back at him.

“Yes, I am.” Before I can will it away, the manners my mother has instilled so deep into me show themselves, and I bow slightly. “Good afternoon, I'm Chiyuki – hey, Kakashi!”

Looking back at me with a disgruntled expression, the boy lets go of the back of my overalls and crosses his arms. I raise an expectant eyebrow at him.

“You don't need to be so formal all the time, especially not with  _ Gai _ .”

If said person noticed the tone of his voice, he chose not to mention it.

“That is right, Youthful Chiyuki! It is also my pleasure to meet you! I am Konoha's Green Beast, Maito Gai!”

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Gai.” I nod at him while nudging Kakashi in the ribs. He frowns back at me, expression growing more and more sour by the second.

“Don't be rude.” He snorts.

“What are you, my mom?”

“Unlike you, I just have manners.” He huffs, and apparently that seems to be the end of it. Next to me, Gai looks slightly worried, but I smile at him and shake my head. Little arguments like these between us weren't uncommon at all. It helps build character and camaraderie, Sakumo-oji likes to say.

“What're you doing out of the academy, Gai?” Kakashi suddenly interjects, looking at the last person who would consider skipping school.

“It has ended early, my Eternal Rival! We were doing Youthful Taijutsu Drills!” I share a look with Kakashi, and he nods. Of course Gai would be the first to finish whatever taijutsu exercise they had been forced to do.

“Did you get into the academy this year, Gai?” I ask politely, pointedly avoiding Kakashi's glare. Gai gives me another blinding smile and a thumbs up.

“Yes, I did! This year, the Flames of Youth have started to Burn Hotter than Ever!” That means Gai is five, a year older than myself and Kakashi. Glancing at the latter, I briefly remember he had graduated quite early from the academy even before the war, at age five or six.

_ 'Well, I can't let that happen, now can I?' _

I knew we were going to meet many of the people who would be tokubetsu jonin and jonin in a not so distant future, and that the war was going to speed up that process quite a bit. Ultimately, there was nothing I could do to prevent war from happening, that much was obvious; I could, however, watch closely how my peers progressed and try to predict the teams we would end up on.

I glance at Kakashi again. As much as he was my friend, I wasn't so sure I was willing to be put in his team and have to deal with all that drama. I could do my thing in another, calmer team.

_ 'Maybe I can talk to father about this.' _

Gai left shortly after, suddenly up and about, and ran off after shouting something about training with his dad. Kakashi had chosen to not comment on it, and I decided to let the subject drop.

.

“Will you be going to the academy next year?” My masked friend asks, feinting a punch only to turn around and try to hit my legs. I jump, quickly evading another punch just as he avoids mine.

“Yeah, why?” He manages to shrug, taking a second too long to avoid my kick. He stumbles back a couple of steps, but he's soon trading blows with me as if nothing happened.

Sparring with Kakashi is both exciting and humbling. He catches up on things faster than I do, but there's something that only age can give you, even if your body takes a little bit to catch up with your brain. In a way, Kakashi is predictable; his strikes are clear, fast and confident, and he's able to think up of new strategies on spot.

Age allows you to see things in a completely different light. Kakashi could adapt to the situation faster, but I didn't  _ need _ to. I knew this particular training ground like the back of my hand, knew Kakashi since we were three. Sometimes he gets overconfident, but what is often his downfall is his inability to see the bigger picture. Whereas he sees arms striking out to punch, I see a body twisting, legs tensing, fingers curling in a punch. There was no doubt he'd learn to do that on his own, with time, but for now I was content in holding that advantage over him.

If we're talking about strategies, seeing the bigger picture is essential. (One of the reasons why Naras were so feared was because they are able to both think up of multiple plans before the confrontation  _ and _ adapt it according to what happens in the moment. Now that's something to be feared). Kakashi could adapt, yes, but it was limited to what he was seeing at the moment. Mother had told me it was a boy thing.

Of course, if we all ignore how much I pant and sweat after five measly minutes of sparring, all is good.

“Just curious. We're going to join at the same time.” I smile internally, taking care to keep my face carefully neutral as he somersaults away from me, tensing his legs to gain momentum. I tense mine as well, squashing down the frustration I feel at my body’s exhaustion.

“Yeah. Father told me Sakumo-oji had wanted you to join in this year?” We both fly at each other at the same time, blocking and striking in a dangerous dance. He snorts, and the fighter in me whispers that he's too close. Time to put in some distance and end this  _ now _ .

“Yeah, but he changes his mind every second. Now he wants me to join in with you so I can have a  _ friend _ .” Something in the tone of his voice makes me narrow my eyes just as I manage to land a quick strike on his ribs, which makes him fall back.

“Oooh, are you embarassed?” He startles, narrowing his eyes at me and falling out of his fighting stance. I grin, despite the extra energy it takes me to do it. “There's no need to, Kashi-chan, I would still have been your friend if you had chosen to join the academy earlier.”

I lost, but his face had been totally worth it.

 

.

* * *

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally I hadn't thought of making Kakashi and Chiyuki interact so much but well, things happened! What do you think about their relationship?
> 
> Today’s question is: what’s your favorite jutsu?


	5. Second Section - Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are family you choose for yourself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, y'all! Thank you for all the support so far, it makes me very happy to see people enjoying this fic!
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

**_Becoming a Hokage 101_ **

.

Second Section: Go to school to make allies

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Chapter Four

.

As a future hokage, having allies and people whom you can depend on is on top of your priorities list, especially seen as you'll have to blindly trust these people to have your back. Your first opportunity to assure you'll have decent comrades is at the Academy, which will most likely be your first contact with so many different children and adults, whether they are from clans or not.

First impressions are everything. Your peers may change their opinion of you later on, but that very first impression will always be in their memories, and finding the right balance between 'class clown' and 'stuck up clan brat' is much harder than it sounds. My advice would be to be approachable enough; work hard on your studies (being on the top five of your class is optional), but don't hold it over your classmates' heads. Talk to them and help them if they come to you, but always keep in mind you won't be able to be held in high regards by everyone.

Take care and know the difference between friends and acquaintances. If you were born on a well-known clan (see: First Chapter), chances are people will treat you differently, whether you like that or not. Be careful about remarks and talking back: be respectful of your seniors and teachers, but don't be afraid to put colleagues in their place when needed – and trust me, you'll know what to do when the time comes.

Finally, pay attention to your peers' growth and abilities throughout your academy years, but keep in mind that scores aren't everything. More often than not, how your classmates do on the practical side of things will be more important than the theoretical side, regardless of how well they did on the latter. It's preferable to be on the good side of clan kids, no matter how annoying they might be, especially if you happen to meet a clan heir. You'll most likely be hokage at the same time these people take over their clans, and having an amiable relationship with them is of the utmost importance.

.

* * *

 

.

I would be lying if I said I don’t love Hiruzen, because I do. I truly and well do. Being an absent father doesn’t actually bother me. Sad as it is, we never got used to having him around, so we don’t exactly miss him whenever he’s working.

Besides, we all see it. My father may not make the best decisions all the time, but he tries his best and also aims to please the council, which is no small feat. In doing that along with running perhaps the most powerful ninja village in a mix of military and feudalism system, the kage in question will inevitably get exhausted more often than not. 

“Very well. Now, keep on making it as big as you can. Make sure to concentrate on how you expel chakra and mold it over an existing piece of metal.”

“Yes, father.”

It gets me wondering, though. Sharing political power in such a system would certainly slow down the decision process, but it would also make things more well-thought and avoids corruption. The council has too much power for a bunch of conservative old people, but I can see the merit on the idea; even though the hokage holds the most power and has the final say in things, having a council of advisors who truly represent the villagers would benefit Konoha as a whole.

_ ‘No biggie, we just have to dismiss 80% of the current council and convince big shots like the Nara head to take the vacant spots. Not difficult at all.’ _

“How is your chakra?”

“...my chakra levels are fine, and I can still easily mold chakra. I’m slowly getting tired, though. Physically.” The Sandaime hums thoughtfully but says nothing, continuing to observe me with keen eyes. 

My father is a good person who aims to please everyone. You could call him a natural peace maker, although he’s not very good at it. When he first saw the Iron Release all those months ago, it was the first time I had seen him so speechless and hesitant. In a job where people expect nothing less but perfection all the time, keeping up appearances is imperative - yet, he let that mask slip, even if just for a few seconds. His eyes, usually so tired but warm, filled with confusion and dread, although his hesitance did not affect me nearly as much as mother’s did. 

_ ‘And doesn’t that say a few things about you, Sarutobi.’ _

Since then, only a handful of people know about it, and as far as I know, not even the council has caught wind of it yet. Apparently, it’s all a ‘need-to-know’ basis, which makes me relieved, in all honesty. I haven’t even told Kakashi about it, though I am planning on doing it soon enough. Fear does strange things to an individual, however, and that’s why father thought it was of the utmost importance I practiced it everyday, so long as I did it hidden from prying eyes.

“I wish I could say you don’t have to worry about a thing here, but I can’t.”

He’d said that with a sadness so deep it made me realize how painful it is for him to run a village and try your best but still have the need to tell your children to be careful. To try and make up for that, he oversees my training whenever he can - which is saying a lot, considering how little free time he has. 

“That is enough. Turn it back into a ball.”

The staff I hold in my hands is nearly twenty meters long, dark grey like the little metal ball that’s become my companion. Focusing chakra and expelling it really isn’t the problem, thankfully enough. What is still my biggest weakness is my lack of physical stamina, and although I can use chakra to make up for it, my reserves aren’t nearly big enough to do that safely. Not only that, but doing it constantly may make your muscles literally addicted to it, which it might as well be a death sentence in battle. 

Letting nature chakra absorb my own is as easy as molding and expelling it. In my hands, the metal object is back to its original size, strangely light for once. Maybe mother is right and I  _ am  _ getting better at this.

Chakra is an odd, odd thing, and Before I had never even heard of something like it. Here, chakra is in everything, but nature chakra was especially volatile mostly because it didn’t have chakra coils like humans and animals did. A tree has chakra, but does not have coils; instead, its chakra flows through every cell in its body, vibrating and feeding the tree. 

Then, there’s the yin and yang chakra, used mostly in non-elemental jutsu, like genjutsu. Using this kind of chakra requires focus and precise control, which is why not everyone can be a medic-nin or a genjutsu master. Of course, there’s also Tsunade’s yin seal, which gathers spiritual energy. Even though I had met her already, there was never time or familiarity enough to ask her just how she did it and where did the excess yang chakra go, but for someone with perfect chakra control like she has, it shouldn’t be too hard to channel that to other escape routes.

“Father?”

“Hmm?”

“Where do yin and yang chakra go after we’ve used it? I mean, I know that elemental chakra is absorbed by the very nature around us.”

All at once, my brain feels like it’s processing things too fast for me to be able to make sense of it, yet it also seems like I’m not thinking fast enough. One of the main reason why nature chakra is so unstable is because of all the foreign and strange chakra it is constantly in contact with. Some, like earth and water, are slightly easier to control because of their own intrinsic nature; by definition, earth is solid and grounding, and water flows smoothly. Other, like fire and lightning, require more concentration and fine chakra control because of their wild nature, all over the place and extremely difficult to tame. Even the Shodaime’s Wood Release works like that, and it might as well be even easier on the chakra coils than earth. There are trees everywhere, no matter the climate or soil; it’s just something that’s naturally there, and nature chakra has no problem absorbing it because, hell, it’s just wood. 

What of yin and yang, then?

“That’s right. It happens with all elemental jutsu, as well as genjutsu and taijutsu. It’s a matter of physics, mostly, but it’s also the reason why even the Shodaime could let nature absorb his chakra.”

“Because wood already exists in nature. As well as lightning, fire, water, earth, and air.”

My father nods once, a pensive look on his face. 

“Yin and yang chakra work in a similar way. Even if they aren’t elemental releases, nature chakra will still absorb them because it’s something natural. They already exist in nature.

“Can a person’s chakra be detected through that?”

“In theory, yes. However, nature absorbs chakra at an alarming rate, which makes it fleeting and weak. You’d have to get close enough in less than a minute for you to be able to get a glimpse of it, and even then it’s not a sure-fire way. Trees and plants will quickly turn that chakra into their own, so if you wait longer than that it will be impossible.”

“What about the air?”

“Everything has chakra, including the air we breathe. That would, however, be even harder than trying to track remnants of chakra from trees.”

“And iron? It’s a chemical element, and although it’s not as abundant as the elemental ones, it’s still present in nature.”

Hiruzen rubs his chin thoughtfully, an unreadable look on his face. He vaguely looks like he’s dying for a smoke.

“I suppose that would be a great challenge. The iron that exists in nature is scarce all over the nations, except perhaps for the Land of Iron.”

“But it would still be possible. Theoretically speaking.”

“Yes.”

It’s not a priority or anything I’d be able to use anytime soon, but it was an idea nonetheless. Sooner or later I’d have to take a hold of the iron present in nature to mold and use it according to my will, like everyone else did with their elemental releases. If I could get it to work as a sensor skill, well, that would be a bonus to my poorer than average sensor skills. It would be difficult, yes, as iron isn’t exactly omnipresent, but I already have it as my nature release, why shouldn’t I take advantage of it? Iron is grounding like the earth but unstable like fire; surely a person’s chakra would react differently to it? I’d have to test it out.

“Father.” I call out for him, my brain jumping from thought to thought and the sheer possibilities this could bring. If that worked out - if I could get a person’s chakra to linger on the iron atoms, scarce but ever so present in nature, for as long as it normally did with earth and water -  

“Will you teach how to do it?”

For a long moment Hiruzen looks at me, and he suddenly looks like he's aged ten years. A grim, ugly smile stares back at me, and I can't stay I don't understand where he’s coming from – if I had a child like myself, I'd be afraid for their wellbeing as well. Kami knew what happened to prodigies in this universe, but I honestly was far from caring. If I knew how to play my cards and bide my time, being called a genius will actually be beneficial in the future. If I wait long enough to stay out of the radar, but do it soon enough to make it matter…

“Very well. I will talk to your mother, and we will include your brothers on this training as well.”

Even though it was what I wanted and I was happy they were going to include my brothers on this, the sentence felt, oddly enough, like a punishment. 

 

.

* * *

.

I must admit I was extremely hesitant about finally entering the academy, not because I was The Hokage's Daughter – I needed to make peace with that if I wanted to move on and make a name for myself – but because it meant things were  _ really  _ starting. From here on out, it's when I'll start to plan and never take a step forward without double checking my situation. It's the time to make friends, acquaintances, allies. People who will eventually be under my command.

I also knew I had two years before the war, and that I had to convince Kakashi to graduate at a normal pace, not quite because of him, but for Sakumo. In a year or so, Sakumo will take that horrible mission that'll make him choose between his village and his comrades, and that will get him killed. I had no way to prevent him from taking the mission, anything I said about it would be regarded rather suspiciously – but I could deal with the aftermath. Sakumo ended up committing suicide because he was shunned by the village. A mission's outcome is not common knowledge, so he must have felt the pressure from his fellow shinobi, probably people who had clearance enough to discern what was real about a rumor and what was not. Jonin, then. 

There came power in being the hokage's child. Whether I'd be hokage myself or not was irrelevant; as his child, I held enough power to whisper in his ear and make him consider other options at the very least. If I let it be widely known that what Sakumo would do was not to be shunned, but praised...

_ 'It may be wishful thinking, but I have to keep thinking of the bigger picture.' _

In front of me, our chunin sensei, some middle-aged man called Yutaka, rambles on and on about Konoha's history. It would be fascinating if I didn't have enough books of that at home and if his version of the story wasn't so much like brainwashing. My silver haired friend has never paid attention in the first place; if you don't know him enough, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between 'focused-half-lidded-eyes-Kakashi' and 'bored-half-lidded-eyes-Kakashi'. Sometimes I had a hard time distinguishing it as well, but one look at his chakra would be enough to confirm my suspicions.

If by some chance Sakumo didn't commit suicide, there was a possibility Kakashi wouldn't turn out so... _ broken _ in the future. He would be able to have his father's support, yes, but at what cost? Would Sakumo get depressive? Would he eventually kill himself anyway? Would he recover? Wouldn't that be even worse for Kakashi? Maybe. Maybe not. But I had to take my chances. Even if I don't end up on team Minato (which I'm seriously praying against), I needed Kakashi's full trust to prevent Obito from 'dying' because that involved telling him about the mission and well, I knew he would be very suspicious as to how I knew that. The more mentally stable he is, the better.

I glance at Kakashi. The back of my eyes sting from the tell-tale incoming tears signal, but I blink them all away before anyone can notice what's wrong. It makes my chest constrict and ache so  _ so _ bad to think of him like that, as if he were nothing but a pawn in an extremely complex game of chess. I feel like throwing up.

.

_ (Faceless pawns are kneeling before me, Kakashi and Gai long lost in the crowd. Hundreds are killed just as more genin graduate from the academy). _

**_No!_ **

.

I swallow the knot in my throat down, my lips strangely dry. My ninja  _ would not _ be pawns. 

Said friend glances at me, a question clear in his eyes, but I look for his hand under the table and send him a message in a code similar to Before's morse.

'Later'. 

It's enough to get him off my case for now, but Kakashi has never let me dwell on things. 

Yutaka-sensei claps, apparently finishing off the lesson, and it's enough to bring my awareness back to class. My stomach rumbles distinctly.

“Alright class, lunchtime! Be back in thirty minutes!”

Mom's homemade bento is as protein-packed and delicious as always, and the familiar smell brings a smile to my face despite the nausea I had felt minutes earlier. Kakashi sits next to me, having already eaten his onigiri at the speed of light after everyone else left the classroom, and seems content in keeping me company. 

He at least lets me chew on my first bite before pouncing. “So, what was that?”

Carefully avoiding his eyes, I take my time chewing, wondering how I'm gonna explain to him there's a part of me that's terrified of becoming a heartless dictator.

“...I'm a little bit afraid of the dirty work that comes with being hokage.” Way-too-intelligent eyes pierce a hole in my head, but instead of meeting his gaze I pick up an egg roll with my chopsticks and quickly eat it. 

I can't really taste it.

“Explain.” I huff, annoyance overpowering hesitance for a moment. I feel the urge to fiddle with my bangs, nearly forgetting how they are neatly tucked in place by a dark hairclip. Thankfully, the novelty of The Hokage’s Daughter And Her Strange-Looking Mark On The Forehead has passed, because as much as I’d hate to cover my seal, I’d hate even more to be the center of all the curious stares and bothersome questions.

“Not now, Kakashi, and especially not here, where everyone and their mother can hear. Later.”  Even through his mask I can clearly see his frown, but this time I meet his stare head on. Before he can say anything, a chakra signature that's becoming very familiar gets close to us.

Looking up, Obito's face is darkened by the angle I see him from, but his defiant nature and half-hearted glare reminds me instantly of three year old Kakashi, back when we first met. Said boy's chakra starts to swirl tensely, and I put a hand on his knee. 'Calm down' goes unspoken.

“So you're the hokage's daughter! The one they call hime!” The Uchiha's loud voice is more than enough to attract the attention of the entire year, and in my head I sigh heavily. Outside, though, I keep my face calm and relaxed.

_ 'It's only the first week of school, but the time has come. Show your peers and future subordinates who you are.' _

“Yes, my name's Chiyuki. Nice to meet you.” I bow slightly, meeting surprised eyes with a small but sincere smile, and the unexpected reaction makes him hesitate.

He quickly regains his will, though. He harrumps, crossing his arms and sending a look of disdain at Kakashi, who bristles. I don't let go of his knee.

_ 'Kakashi normally wouldn't be this tense because of a simple bully-wannabe. What's going on?' _

“I don't care whose daughter you are! I, the great Uchiha Obito, will be the next hokage!”

Even with my sensor skills and the hand on his knee, nothing could have warned me of Kakashi's sudden rage as he  _ pounces _ on Obito-

I'm absolutely horrified. There's no other way I can describe this terrible feeling of dread and hopelessness as I stare at Kakashi and Obito exchanging blows. A crowd quickly forms around them, and the children encourage them – some are even  _ betting _ on the winner.

_ 'Holy shit'. _

Just before my vision of them is completely hidden by a bunch of legs, I see Kakashi quickly overpowering Obito, purposefully using fast and precise strikes. Something whispers for me to move, to do something, but it feels as if my legs are stuck to the soft grass beneath me. It's like I'm hyper-aware of everything – the wetness of the grass, the yells of the children, the two fighting boys panting and striking at each other.

_ 'Move, Chiyuki!' _

My legs spasm. I hear Obito gasp and fall to the ground.

**_'Move!'_ **

I leap from my seat, quickly pushing through the crowd and trying to gauge when would be the best time to come between them. I have never been good at math Before.

_ 'Screw it. No time for that here.' _

After Obito manages to shakily get up and land one desperate kick in Kakashi's chest, he stumbles back a couple of steps, probably not used to the adrenaline moving his limbs. 

_ 'There's my opening.' _

Hugging Kakashi from behind, I enhance my arm muscles with chakra and tense my legs to hold him back, the effort making me grunt.

“Kakashi!” I'm right by his ear when I yell, and he flinches. I should feel sorry, but everything seems so baffling. Where the hell is the chunin sensei?!

Thankfully, Kakashi stops struggling and sags in my arms, taking us both to the ground. Someone is  _ (finally) _ holding the Uchiha back as well, but it doesn't stop them from glaring daggers at each other. Sighing heavily, I knock my forehead against the back of my friend's head.

_ 'This is going to be a long, long year.' _

_. _

Logically, both Kakashi and Obito had been suspended for a week from the academy, though I don't think that'll do much for them aside from their hurt egos. While I don't doubt talking to Obito will be difficult, my priority was to find Kakashi and ask what the hell that had been. 

Turns out that my friend was very difficult to get a hold of when he didn't want to be found, despite our familiarity and the limited places he could be. It hurt, yes, but I could learn to respect his space. He probably needed it more than I needed answers right now.

...though that didn't stop me from searching in other places.

“Ah, hime, I'm sorry, my son isn't here today again.” I shake my head, looking up at Sakumo standing in casual clothes. He somehow looks younger without the green vest.

“It's okay. I came here to talk to you, if you don't mind.” The silver-haired man doesn't look surprised or curious, just... oddly resigned. Huh.

_ 'Very odd.' _

“Of course, hime. Please come in.”

Despite coming from a powerful clan, Kakashi and his dad share a small house near the outskirts of Konoha, with the simplest of furnishing and as plain as it can be. There are a couple of cacti here and there, but I suspect the only reason they're still around is because they don't need to be watered very often. 

“Is normal green tea okay for you?” I kneel down in front of their small table, noting how there seems to be a fine layer of dust pretty much everywhere even though everything here seems rather... new. Unused.

“Sakumo-oji, I'm fine with anything.” A ghost of a smile appears on his lips, but it's gone as soon as it came. Hatake Sakumo had always been strangely formal with me, even if I'm the same age as his son. When I'd asked dad about it, he'd said it was out of respect for their longtime friendship, but about a year ago I'd started to suspect this whole thing. No one treats their friend's kid this formally without some reason, especially not someone of Sakumo's caliber.

His happy-go-lucky demeanor wasn't anywhere to be seen, and that worried me as well.

“There you go.” He places the steaming cup before me, and I sniff if appreciatively. I had liked green tea Before, but here it's not only part of my entire culture but also delicious. Where mother got all the fresh leaves from I had no idea, but was grateful for it nonetheless.

“Thank you, Sakumo-oji.” Taking a sip, I worriedly notice the man's quite serious expression, and put the cup down. “Is there something wrong?”

He sighs heavily, and the sound doesn't fit him at all. When he speaks, his voice sounds tired. Worried. Resignated. Deep in my guts, I have an inkling of what he's going to say, but it doesn't mean I'm prepared for it.

“Hime, you've spent a lot of time with Kakashi ever since the both of you were three years old.” I nod, taking another sip of the tea to try and calm myself down. “I have always been grateful for your presence in his life. You're aware that my son isn't the most sociable of children, but that has never bothered you – in fact, I think that's why you two get along so well. You do have a bit of an old soul.”

It wasn't the first time someone had told me that. Both my parents and Aunt had told me that, but even though they had mentioned it with amusement, I'd resigned myself to it since a long time ago. Genius or not, refusing to act (or be) like a child even in a shinobi world was uncommon, but thankfully not unheard of. 

The silver haired man hesitates, as if he doesn't know how to say his next words. I'm getting increasingly anxious.

“I will be as direct as possible, hime. I have never seen Kakashi take as much of an interest in anyone or anything else besides you, and that's hardly a bad thing. In fact, I think it's great. But... hime. I heard you plan on becoming hokage?”

_ 'So the cat's finally out of the bag, huh.' _ I think, a strange calm overcoming me suddenly.

People were bound to hear about it sooner or later; it was to be expected, honestly. I didn't go around telling people, but I never said it was a secret either, and I definitely wasn't surprised Kakashi had told his dad. What makes me worry is the fact that he took so long to talk to me about it when it was obviously bothering him a lot.

“Yes, Sakumo-oji.”

He sighs again, but does not ask me why or even if I'm sure. Something tells me he's way past that stage.

Then, to my absolute and pure  _ horror _ , the man scoots back and bows his head to me, long silver hair falling from his shoulders.

Just like that, the calm vanishes, and I forget all my manners as I get up and rush to his side, clutching at his jacket for him to stop this and get  _ up and ohmygod ojichan what are you doing-?! _

“Chiyuki.”

It's the first time he's called me without any honorifics, and I pause. My hands clutch his dark blue sweater tighter. He finally lifts up his head and locks eyes with me, a flurry of emotions I can't quite identify flying in his eyes in contrast to the blank mask he's wearing over his face. I gulp, my throat dry despite the tea I just drank.

“Do you know what was the first thing Kakashi said to me when he came home, two days ago?” I shake my head. That had been the day he and Obito got suspended, and I hadn't seen him ever since.

Sakumo chuckles dryly. “He came home absolutely furious, or, well, as furious as Kakashi can seem. He wasn't fazed by the suspension at all, that kid. His reputation, his grades – none of that matters to him. I clearly remember the look of rage in his eyes when I'd asked what the fight was about.”

The man shakes his head, sighing softly.

_ 'Stop sighing, ojichan. It doesn't suit you. It's because of me, isn't it?' _

.

_ (Another image forms. Kakashi and I are alone again. Nothing has changed; he's still bloodied from head to toe. In his blade, the blood of hundreds. A few steps back, his father watches, and I can hear the exact moment he breaks. _

_ NO! _

.

“Ojichan?” 

_ 'Calm down. You're fine. Sakumo's just worried. You won't let his kid become a heartless killing machine - or anyone else, for that matter - for the sake of your dream.' _

“I even remember his exact words.”

.

“That kid”, Kakashi spat, surprising his dad, “had the guts to yell he was going to become hokage!”

Sakumo blinks, thoroughly baffled, and kneels to look his son in the eyes.

“Kakashi, becoming hokage is a quite common dream amongst children-”

His son shook his head, narrowing his eyes and interrupting his dad.

“No! He was just saying it because- I don't know! But he doesn't have the spark in his eyes when he says it – none of them do!”

Beyond baffled, the silver haired man furrows his eyebrows, struggling to understand his child. Had Kakashi finally become insane? He'd heard it was common amongst prodigies, but he didn't think it would strike his son so quickly and at such a tender age.

“What do you mean, Kakashi?” Said boy huffs and crosses his arms, visibly calmer but still rather miffed.

“When Chiyuki talks about it – being hokage, the people, making changes – her eyes sparkle. She loves this village, old man, not like any of us do, but like, like-”

Realization dawns on Sakumo just as fast as horror does.

“Like it's her own life force.” He finishes blankly, and his son nods, content with the conclusion.

“Yeah. Like it's her own life force. That Uchiha brat had no right to make fun of her dreams like that when he doesn't even know what being a kage is about.”

.

In a detached sense, Sakumo briefly remembers scolding his son (“A dream is a dream, Kakashi, and you shouldn't assume things about people, especially not about people your own age who should not be called brats.”) and calming the boy down, but what's extremely clear in his head are memories.

His hokage and friend, weary and tired from all the years wearing that hat, what he'd been like before he took up the position. The decisions he'd had to make, the blood in his hands, ANBU,  _ ROOT _ -

Kakashi was going to follow Chiyuki into the depths of hell, no doubt about it. If the girl led the village one day, no one would ever be able to question Kakashi's loyalty. His son had probably been the first one to take her seriously and support her, knowing the duo as he does. Sakumo had no way to assure Kakashi's safety or well-being when he got older and when he eventually no longer belonged in this life, but if his son was about to become the right-hand of such a bright and ambitious mind like Chiyuki's-

“Hime, please take care of my son.”

 

.

* * *

 

.

Meditating is a great exercise, both to the mind and the body. Through meditation, one could focus better, raise their chakra levels and reach better understanding of their own body. A monk who had never studied or practice anything about chakra but who had meditated their whole life could have chakra reserves as huge as a jonin's, and just as precise control.

It was also a great way to calm down and pass time when you were unable to sleep.

_ “Dad, what does it mean to be hokage?” _

I had asked my father that question a couple of years ago, back when Jiraya was still around and liked messing with my head. It's odd, really, because ever since I decided to become hokage I had never questioned myself.

_ 'Do I want to be  _ hokage _? Or do I want to  _ make a change _?' _

Essentially, they are different things. I could make a change by being a tokubetsu jonin, really; I'd have enough influence on the right people to make things go more or less the way I'd like them to, but it wouldn't be the same thing. I wouldn't be able to decide things for myself and get rid of threats because I somehow knew they were going to be trouble later on. I wouldn't be able to do things if I didn't tell someone of  _ how _ I knew it, and that was going to give me a lot of trouble.

_ 'Yeah, right. Like hell is a Yamanaka or anyone from T&I getting inside my head.' _

I sigh, taking some time to focus on my breathing and the way the air fills my lungs.

In short, if I want to have the freedom to make the decisions I think are best, then I have to be hokage. The councils may question me and will probably piss me off more often than not, but ultimately, all they can do is give me 'advice'. I am okay with that. The real question here, though, isn't 'do I  _ need _ to be hokage', but rather 'do I  _ want _ to be hokage'.

The position entails many things, not just the leadership of the village. People look up to the hokage. People respect the hokage – hell, some people even love the hokage as much as they love the village. Not only shinobi love the village, but the civilians do as well. I dare say it's the best ninja village one could live in – we have nice weather, nearly everything can grow here, there are unlimited sources of clean water nearby and the merchants love how easy it is to come and go. It's honestly hard not to genuinely like such a peaceful little safe bubble right in the middle of a shinobi world.

_ “Hime, please take care of my son.” _

Hatake Sakumo is probably ANBU, with how highly developed his chakra coils are and how often he disappears on confidential missions. 

Hatake Sakumo is one of the two remaining members of a clan that used to be held in high regard by the whole village, even if it was a small one. Technically, he's the head of said clan.

More importantly, Hatake Sakumo will choose his teammates over the village in a mission that will get him killed. He will sacrifice his entire career – his life - for the well being of people he might not even know that well-

_ Hatake Sakumo is entrusting his son to me. _

Kakashi, the one who had (will have?) such an essential part in- well, everything. He'll be Obito's teammate, Minato's student, Naruto's teacher – he'll enter ANBU earlier than anyone else in canon and he'll be powerful enough to pull off crazy stunts like handling back-to-back suicidal missions and the Akatsuki. This man – no, this  _ boy, _ this  _ child _ – is being entrusted to _ me _ . Whether Sakumo sees the same bloodied Kakashi-robot I do or not, I have no way of knowing, but he definitely knows the risks that people closely related to the hokage take everyday.

_ 'I'm sorry, Sakumo-oji. I don't think I deserve your son.' _

Something drips on my leg, and with a start I realize I'm crying. Not the wailing, sobbing kind, because that was reserved for a nine on a pain scale. Gingerly, I touch my cheek. It's much colder during the night, and the breeze coming in through the window makes me shiver. 

Yet, it's like I don't feel a thing.

(Sadness becomes numbness.)

_ 'Do I deserve to be hokage? Was I even thinking about this whole thing seriously?' _

(Numbness becomes anger.)

_ 'Did you think it would be as easy as simply falling in the Narutoverse, decide to be hokage and change things to your heart's content?!' _

(Anger becomes pity.)

_ 'I don't deserve this kind of loyalty. A hokage shouldn't be this stupidly selfish-' _

“Chiyuki.”

_ 'Asuma.' _

My brother. My friend. My treasure. He looks so young, so innocent, but his face regards me with the same kind of wisdom mom does. I choke back a sob. Not that much pain (yet).

“You're thinking too much again.”

In a very familiar fashion to both of us, I throw my arms around my brother's middle, only then realizing the tears flowing down my cheeks and my breath coming out in harsh gasps.

“Asuma-nii.”

It might have been a call for help. A prayer, perhaps. 

“Shh. I'm here. Go to sleep.”

Regardless, he answers with something better than I could have hoped for.

_ 'Why is it that he seems to be so much bigger despite being only a year older?' _

 

.

* * *

.

“Your chakra nature is lightning?” I ask, feigning the right amount of surprise, while Kakashi nonchalantly nods. It's a nice day, really. It's neither cold nor hot, and the shade under the academy's tallest tree is perfect for a nap during lunchtime. 

“Yeah. Why?” I shrug, but I know that he sees the motion even though he's got his eyes closed.

“It's not usual around here. Everyone in my family has either fire or earth. Or both.” Mentally, I kick myself. I can almost hear my mother nagging at me.

_ 'Eloquence, Chiyuki.' _

Lazily, my silver haired friend opens one eye to look up at me, not making the effort to sit up from his comfortable position on the grass.

“Have you started your ninjutsu training?” I snort at him, and the little shit has the balls to blink innocently. 

_ 'You just want to show off, don't you.' _

“I have.” I answer with a wince, flexing my fingers out of reflex, the memories enough to make me flinch with pain, “in fact, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about it.”

“I thought you'd have easy with that ridiculous chakra control.” I roll my eyes in fond exasperation. Trust Kakashi to make me feel better in the strangest of ways.

“Sometimes it hinders me more than it helps. I can't mold it normally.”

“What?”

On our left, a bit on the far side, Obito is playing ninja with a couple of other kids, occasionally looking back to where we are. When our eyes meet, he scowls at the boy next to me and grudgingly nods at me, but he focuses back on his fight just in time to get a kick to the face. I'm unable to laugh.

I look down at the boy laying down beside me, now with both eyes open and a hint of curiosity behind them. A month has passed since that fight between him and Obito, and although I know it's far from over, they at least don't go out of their way to make life worse for the other.

Not Kakashi, at least.

His dark eyes are half-lidded, as usual, but there’s a sharpness in them I’d be foolish to miss. People don’t usually notice how slight Kakashi’s gaze changes, and that’s both good and bad.

“What I’m going to show you is something only my immediate family knows of.”

Leisurely, languidly, he sits up. To anyone else, it might have felt like a casual, unplanned action; something all people did. I saw it for what it really was, though. It’s not often he does that, but there’s something utterly terrifying about the calm Kakashi exudes when he’s in his hunter mode. It oddly reminds me of a lioness taking an anything but casual stroll in the savanna, looking out for prey.

Neither of us says anything as I take the little metal ball from inside my overalls. In an unspoken agreement, we both hurdle closer together, making it look as if we were simply gossiping like two normal five year olds. 

To his credit, Kakashi doesn’t react as the object in my hands submits to my chakra and transforms into many shapes and forms right before our eyes. He doesn’t even blink. 

Blankly, he raises his gaze back to me.

_ ‘Five year olds should not be able to have an unreadable expression like that. They should not.’ _

“What.” The youngest Hatake repeats, a hint of anger and exasperation in his bland voice. 

_ 'You're your own worst enemy, Sarutobi.' _

“My parents think the seal and my unbalanced chakra have made it impossible for me to mold earth and fire separately.”

“...”

“We’ve been calling it Iron Release.”

“...”

“Mother thinks that if she can modify the seal, I’ll be able to mold the two elemental releases one at a time.”

“...”

“Kinda like the Shodaime. Only it took him a while to be able to use earth and water instead of only wood.”

“...”

“...what?”

My friend sighs heavily, flopping back down on the soft grass and groaning.

“You’re ridiculous. Absolutely, impossibly ridiculous.”

I can’t help but shrug, not knowing how to act. He’s taking it in stride, and that’s more than I could have asked for. He does seem a bit exasperated but hell, it’s not like this is my fault.

Kakashi huffs, closing his eyes for a moment, and I take the time to wave at Rin who's talking to a few of the girls in class nearby. She smiles at me – a cute, little shy smile that makes her eyes twinkle and a blush to appear on her cheeks. Obito has such good taste.

“What do your brothers think about it?” He suddenly asks, seemingly interested in the subject despite his slight hesitance. I shrug again.

“They think it’s awesome, but Tooru is understably worried.”

“And what do you think?”

“I think that… it’s not ideal, of course not. Sometimes I still find myself wanting an average chakra release but… I’m learning to adapt. I’m learning from it and with it. Either way, I’m going to make it work.”

(Since that night, dealing with my demons has been... dare I say, easier. I don't see bloody people kneeling before me. 

Instead, I see myself standing tall and proud, wearing the hokage hat, with a single person next to me. Asuma never says anything, but his comforting presence is more than enough.)

“My old man says I can graduate this year.”

Reality splashes cold water into my face as I turn wide eyes to my childhood friend. He’s sitting up again in that lioness style, sharp eyes taking in my reaction.

Now where the hell did this come from?!

_ 'No, no. No. No.' _

“Really?” I manage to stutter out after a few seconds of stunned silence, once again kicking myself mentally. 

_ 'Eloquence. Breathe. You can do this.' _

This time, he's the one that shrugs, as if we were simply discussing the aerodynamics of kunai.

“Yeah. Our sensei told him that I can skip the first three years and do an intensive course on the rest of the academy curriculum if I wanted to. I'd become a genin with all the eleven-year olds.” There's a hint of detachment in his voice, as if he'd known it'd come to this. It worries me greatly.

“Is that what you want to do?”

Very,  _ very _ slowly, he turns his head to look at me, and the moment our eyes lock, I feel like he's staring into my very own soul. As if he can see behind every intention of mine, every white lie. 

(As if he's waiting for an indication, or an order.)

.

_ “Hime, please take care of my son.” _

.

“I think that you can graduate earlier too.”

Before I can stop myself, I scoff, and it's like the tension vanishes. He's no longer staring at me like I get to decide what to do with his life, but more like himself. The annoyed, slightly arrogant little Kakashi I know. 

“No way.” I frown, openly showing my distaste for the idea, and I feel my facial muscles pulling into a scowl similar to my mom's.

“Why not? You might struggle a little bit with taijutsu, but think about it. I know this kind of stuff is boring to you, too. We could go on missions together.” If I hadn't known better, I'd have said he was pouting, or even whining.

“No.”

He huffs, finally sitting up and crossing his arms. In my peripheral vision, I see Obito wanting to challenge Kakashi to yet another duel, but thankfully he knows how to read the mood well enough. Bless.

“Chiyuki-”

“I said no, Kakashi. That is my final decision.

In the back of my mind, I know we only have two more minutes of lunch break, which means I have to settle this now. Kakashi can get pissy very often, and dealing with the aftermath is not something enjoyable. Thankfully, we only spend a few more tense seconds glaring at each other before he sighs disapprovingly, hunching over himself and sulking.

_ 'Keep your eyes open. The storm isn’t over yet.' _

“Fine.” He all but spits the word out, clearly unhappy with me. He'll live, though. “Why, though?”

I blink, surprised he'd even ask for the reasons. I hold up two fingers.

“One; if I want to be hokage, I'll need connections, Kashi-chan. There are many clan children here, not to mention civilian children that come from rich merchant families that want their offspring to be able to defend themselves.” He nods his silver bob of hair begrudgingly, impatiently waving at me to continue. I smile.

“Two;” I spread my senses and double check to make sure no one is listening in. I lower my voice, just in case. “Iwa and Kumo are starting to stir trouble. A few of their well-off civilians have been requesting missions from Konoha, which is making the kages very unhappy.”

Was I supposed to tell this? Obviously not. Was I supposed to know about this? Negative. But if my father happened to be the hokage and if he happened to tell things to my mother when they thought all three children were asleep, well. Who was to say I couldn't take advantage of the situation?

“How do you even-”

“Kakashi, listen to me.”

And he does. His gaze is extremely focused once again, and if once I feared to give that gaze a target, now I smile.

_ 'Let's do this right and become a worthy hokage, mhm?' _

“If we graduate right now, we'll be sent in to deal with those shinobi eventually. It could lead to a war. The political side of things really isn't looking that bright.” I shake my head, trying to hide the fact that I  _ know _ a war's gonna break out. There was never anything I could do about it.

“You’ve seen what I can do. If I’m thrust out there with an ability similar to the Shodaime’s, how long do you think I’m going to last?” I ask dryly, showing more confidence than I’m feeling. The fight has left Kakashi, but he still seems to want to argue.

“I’d protect you.”

The bell rings once, then twice. Children all around us get up and start to head inside the building, but my friend doesn’t move a muscle. Time moves on, but the two of us are stuck in a silent conversation; it’s not the first and it sure as hell it’s not gonna be the last. 

My heart swells and nearly explodes inside my chest.

_ ‘Oh, Kakashi.’ _

“I know you would.” And it’s the truth, because I know him, and I know myself. We’d both die protecting the other, but perhaps-

-perhaps this is what Sakumo-oji was talking about.

This determination and single-minded focus, the need to protect and keep safe and happy and healthy. This loyalty. 

If Kakashi felt a third of what I felt for him, I was positive he’d never let anything happen to me.

“Alright. We’ll wait.”

Just like that, the world moves on at its normal speed. We both get up, heading back to the classroom.

.

(The image changes again. Asuma is standing on my right, while Kakashi is standing on my left. Both are clean and content.)

 

.

* * *

 

If you found yourself in the Narutoverse and could choose a clan to be born into, which one would it be and why?

 


	6. Second Section - Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Turns out Konoha isn't such a nice village after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for the support, y’all! In this chapter we see a bit of a time skip, and things start to get a little more realistic, if a tad darker.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

**Becoming a Hokage 101**

 .

Second Section

 .

Chapter Five

 

.

* * *

 Konoha history had everything to be fascinating, except for the obvious brainwashing and the fact that I already knew the whole thing. While they simply brushed over the history of all the other ninja villages, they made sure to make Senju Hashirama as great as possible, sometimes including tales of his younger brother and the Nidaime, Senju Tobirama. Often enough, our chunin sensei, this time a middle aged female chunin called Hitomi, would also mention my father, and since the beginning of my second year at the academy I had learnt to keep my face carefully neutral whenever she did it. All the other children would, inevitably, sneak up a glance on me, but thankfully Kakashi's glare was more than enough to keep them on their toes.

It was frustrating, really.

A year and a half into the shinobi academy life, I'd had more than enough opportunities to get acquainted will all the kinds of tricks adults had to try and get into my good graces. There was the fact some of the other teachers openly gushed over me, much like they did with Kakashi. It made me sick and repulsed and disgusted, but I would always bear it with a respectful dip of my head and a well-practiced 'thank you'. Sometimes, being a wannabe hokage was a pain in the ass, and a full-time annoying occupation.

“Finally, the Second Great Shinobi War ended with the huge help of our Sandaime Hokage and the Three Sannin, and we have been living in peace for three years.”

Inwardly, I sigh, eyes not straining from the female ninja in front of the class. Next to me, Kakashi has long given up on paying attention, and has chosen to nap on top of his crossed arms. Hitomi-sensei has never said anything about him, but Heaven forbid any other clanless kid does that. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Obito sitting next to Rin, struggling to not fall asleep while she keeps on nudging him every so often.

In a small act of mercy from the Heavens, the bell for lunch rings, and I take my time in putting my things away before nudging Kakashi awake, who trails lazily after me to our favorite spot under the biggest tree. I take no time in sitting down and opening my lunch, which grows steadily in size with each passing year. People have long stopped being surprised about the three-person meal I bring everyday plus small snacks to nibble on throughout the day.

“I heard your dad went to another mission.” I begin, munching on some rice while my silver haired friend makes himself comfortable and leans against the tree, no doubt planning on sleeping some more. I refused to feel bad about preventing him from graduating at age five.

“Yeah. He left yesterday.” Sensing he's even less up for a talk than usual, I let the conversation end there, grabbing another portion of rice with my chopsticks and eating it with my favorite side dish, ume. Almost hesitantly, I feel Rin's chakra approaching us, but feign ignorance until she's standing right next to me, clutching her lunch box to her chest. Smiling shyly at me, she glances at Kakashi before blushing and turning her gaze back to me.

_ 'So her crush begins this early, huh.' _

Unsurprising, since Obito had had a crush on her since the beginning of the academy as well. I let myself smile easily at her, showing an honest curiosity.

“Hi, Rin.” She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, the action making her purple markings seem more prominent. I'd have to ask her sometime if it was genetic, even though she's an orphan.

“Hi, Chiyuki-chan. Do you mind if we eat lunch together?” Instead of answering, I make a show of scooting further away from Kakashi and patting the empty space next to me. The boy opens one one and looks annoyedly at me, but I ignore it.

Carefully, she sits next to me, the slight smell of lavender reaching my nose. I smile encouragingly at her, telling her to not mind Kakashi and make herself comfortable. Said boy huffs and turns his back on both of us. I ignore him again.

_ 'Obito has such good taste, seriously.' _

“I've heard some very interesting rumors about you, Rin-chan.” I smirk at her, watching in amusement as she squeaks and turns red, immediately asking me what kind of rumors and who had told me.

_ 'Seriously. Such. Good. Taste.' _

“Oh, it's nothing serious, don't worry, but a little green bird told me the medic-nin who taught us last week saw your potential and offered you an apprenticeship.” I nudge her lightly, and she sighs softly while fiddling with her hands, lunch forgotten in her lap.

“Chiyuki-chan, how come you know everything? Wait, don't answer that.” I laugh, relishing in the exasperatedly fond gaze she directs at me.

Nohara Rin is, by far, the person whom I get along with the best in the academy, with the exception of Kakashi. She's a very sweet and kind girl, soft spoken but fierce when the situation calls for it. I suspect that if (when) she ends up on Minato's team, she'll only get braver and fiercer.

I can't wait for it, to be honest.

(Did I have a crush on her? Maybe. But that’s a secret not even Kakashi knows, and I intend to keep it that way.)

“Isn't she a Hyuga?” I continue, popping an egg roll into my mouth and relishing in the way it melts as I chew. “That's fancy.”

She shakes her head, brown locks swaying with the movement. “She is, but it's not that much of a big deal...”

I tut at her just as an Aburame boy in our class catches my gaze. I raise my left hand in a greeting, and he nods at me. 

_ 'Connections, connections. Always good to be friends with an Aburame.' _ I muse idly to myself. Renji is an Aburame through and through, wearing sunglasses even at age six. Even though he wasn't shown in canon, I had learnt that I wouldn't always get to know all canon characters, nor do I needed to. Here, it's much easier to remember there are many more people than what the anime had shown me – people who have their own dreams and families and friends and goals to achieve.

“It is a huge deal, Rin. A  _ Hyuga medic-nin  _ deemed your chakra control and intelligence good enough to offer you an apprenticeship on your second year at the academy. Learn to give yourself more credit, girl.” Rin blushes, looking down bashfully and nodding. 

“Nevermind me, though! How's your taijutsu training going?” I shrug, making a so-so gesture with my right hand.

“It's alright. Mother says I’ve improved a lot since last year, but I don’t really see it. ” I sigh, not bothering to hide my pout.

She sympathetically pats my back, and I can feel the gesture is sincere. 

“Don't worry,” she starts, “I'm sure you'll get the hang of it. It's you, after all.”

“You'd better hurry up and eat your lunch.” Kakashi mumbles, keeping an eye on a flapping Obito in the distance. “Sensei said we would spar in the afternoon.”

I groan, shoving more food into my mouth. Next to me, Rin giggles again.

.

* * *

.

One huge disadvantage I would have for the rest of my life would be the drawbacks my previous knowledge brought me. Sure, I knew many things that were going to happen in the Narutoverse, not to mention other non-entertainment relates stuff, but that knowledge took a toll on my brain, and as such I needed around three times as much sugar to feed my brain and keep myself headache-less. It wasn’t always easy.

Kakashi feints a punch, only to grab my shoulder and flip me. I fall to the ground with a small ‘oof’, rolling out of the way of a kick just in time. Getting up, I tense my legs and spring up at him, hitting him with a series of quick punches and strikes. He falls back a couple of steps and I take the opportunity to strike him one last time in the chest with the side of my palm in a move so carefully enhanced with just enough chakra for him to lose his breath and fall on his back. Panting, I offer a hand to my equally breathless friend, which he takes. 

The thing about having horrible stamina is that I always needed to finish my battles as quickly as possible, or else I’d use up all the energy meant for my brain and lose the fight because I felt dizzy and nauseous. It’s a lot worse than it seems, I promise. 

“Stamina doesn’t seem to be such a big problem for you anymore.” My silver haired friend huffs, briefly looking around before lowering his mask and taking huge gulps of water from his bottle. I snort, accepting the bottle after he’s finished and drinking the rest of it.

“Mother’s been making sure I make up for my lack of stamina by focusing on my speed and strength.” That, and knowing just how much chakra to use in your muscles at any given time was a blessing. It almost made up for my ridiculous stamina.

Almost.

“You’ve been out of it since yesterday morning.” I hum at him after a while, not really wanting to approach the subject. He shrugs, not wanting to make a big deal out of it.

“It’s nothing.” I narrow my eyes, wiping the sweat off my forehead and all but stomping towards him, intent on seeing through him. I was usually very patient with Kakashi, never wanting to push him, but I couldn’t let this go. Not when I knew what it was about.

“Kakashi.” We glare at each other for a few minutes, the moment tense with two stubborn personalities clashing. Then, he sighs, frustrated, and sits on the soft grass. I follow his movements, double-checking the area to make sure no one would listen in.

He hesitates before speaking, not looking me in the eyes. “The old man came back from his mission yesterday. Something happened.”

I nod, narrowing my eyes. I had guessed as much. I make a vague gesture for him to continue but he merely shrugs. He obviously doesn’t want to talk about it, but if it’s affecting him this much it only makes me more certain that Sakumo came back from that dreaded mission. It hadn’t been too much of a hush-hush mission, which makes me believe he didn’t go as ANBU, but as a jonin. A team leader, most likely.

Kakashi remains silent, and I figure I’ve pushed him enough. Sighing heavily, I take the small solid iron ball out of my hoodie’s kangaroo pocket and absent-mindedly channel chakra into it, effectively turning it into a nicely shaped star. It’s become both a habit and a nervous tick to feel the weight of the metal object in my hands and mold it with chakra, and I thoughtlessly push a little more chakra into it, enough to shape it into a small cat.

_ ‘It wasn’t an extremely secret mission, but it was probably a B or A ranked one. I know Sakumo-oji chose his teammates over the mission's success, but what was it about?’ _

Mulling over the possibilities, I keep channeling chakra in and out of my little iron ball, barely even noticing the way nature quickly absorbs the unused chakra. Above us, a couple of crows fly away from the trees, heading north. Distinctly, the sound they make remind me of ‘aho*’ and I snort. 

“What?” The boy next to me asks, keeping an eye on the kunai he was sharpening. I huff amusedly, shaking my head.

“Nothing. The crows were just calling me an idiot.” Kakashi regards me silently for a few seconds before deciding he doesn’t want to know and going back to his kunai. We go back to the comfortable silence that’s common between us, and I take notice of all the sounds and stimuli that come to me: the leaves rustling with the breeze, the nearly-silent deep and full sound the iron ball makes, the kunai sharpener vacillating against the weapon, the bustling of the village in the distance.

_ ‘It doesn’t matter what their mission was. What matters is that Sakumo made a decision, and back in canon he paid dearly for it – consequently, Kakashi did too. He was ostracized by his own peers, rejected by the village he holds so dearly, betrayed by the leader that was supposed to take care of it, despite the outcome of the mission.’ _

The cute cat statue in my hands shivers and turns into a ripped-off version of a starfish. Smiling bitterly, I will the sudden chakra I’d put in the ball to fade back into nature chakra, and the iron object in my hands slowly turns back to its round shape.

_ ‘Calm down, Sarutobi. There’s no use in thinking about it like this. Sakumo is alive. Not particularly okay, but alive nonetheless. How can you make sure it stays that way?’ _

I throw the ball to my right hand, then to my left again. This time, the left one charges chakra, turning it into a cube, and the right one turns it back into a ball. I switch the object to my right hand, molding it into a cube once again and letting the chakra fade with my left one.

_ ‘Rather, can I even prevent him from killing himself? Maybe. Hopefully. If it’s a B+ ranked mission, only jonin and above are supposed to know about it, but ANBU are worse than housewives when it comes to gossip. Was the rumor treadmill responsible for it? Has Sakumo even considered going to therapy? What even is my father doing about this? Isn’t Sakumo-oji supposed to be his friend?’ _

The grey object hums for a couple of seconds before I turn it into a ball for the last time. My goal clear in my mind, I get up from my spot underneath the tree, Kakashi not even looking at me.

“Where are you going?” He asks, and I take one second to be thankful he can’t see my face. If he did, he’d suspect of something and would want to tag along to make sure I don’t get in trouble, and that I just could not allow. Not when I was starting to have the plan so carefully laid out in my head.

“I'm going to practice hokageship.” I turn around before he can say anything, walking with purposefully long and confident strikes to my target. On my way, people greet me back and forth, some smiles more forced than others. My stomach rumbles, but instead of showing any reaction, I keep my face relaxed, smiling and waving at everyone I can recognize in the slightest. 

Here, in the heart of Konoha, where most shops are located and where there are civilians and shinobi strolling around, it’s easy to get overwhelmed if you have any tracking ability. Since last year, mother had begun to train my attention span, often overwhelming me with tasks and stimuli and asking for one small specific bit of information. The thing about tracking people using the chakra remaining in iron particles was a bust, but at least my brothers and I had gotten a full month of sensor techniques and how to track people through our senses. It had been very messy and it had involved blindfolds, scent inhibitors, and a very amused Aunt Hiyori, but at least my sensor skills were just above average. It was enough, for now.

I arrive in the tower in the span of one minute and forty two seconds, only shinobi training preventing me from being breathless and frazzled. My legs start the all-too-familiar trek to my father’s office, and my skin crawls with the amount of ANBU here. It's like when you glimpse a spider, grab your slippers to kill it, and when you look for it again, it's disappeared. You  _ know _ it's there, but you can't find it and the sensation is the most godawful thing ever.

“Hime.” As soon as I round the corner, I see Sasakibe-oji sitting on his desk, organizing papers and making my dad's life that much easier. I smile at him, bowing slightly, an action he mimics.

“Sasakibe-oji. Is my father available?” The middle-aged man gives me a knowing smile before nodding and gesturing for me to go ahead.

“Yes, he is. I'm afraid he'll have to leave in a few minutes for a meeting with the clan heads, though.” Well, I had guessed as much.

I thank him, bowing one last time before knocking on the office's door and entering after hearing his voice telling me to come in. I open and close the door quickly, goosebumps crawling on my skin as soon as I do. Inside the office, the missing-spider sensation is that much stronger, and I have absolutely no doubt there are at least five ANBU guarding my dad. The fact is both good and bad.

Good; because it meant high-ranked shinobi would listen in and be aware of Sakumo's well-being – or lack thereof. Bad; because not knowing exactly where people were was something completely foreign to me and made my skin crawl in very unpleasant ways. Even though it would not be good for my plans, I vowed to make this as quick as possible.

“Chiyuki.” My father's deep voice greets me warmly before he's soon lost in the sea of paperwork on his desk. I breathe in deeply, calming myself down. It wouldn't do me any good to panic and blurt out all the wrong things. “Did you want something?”

I nod, making sure to keep my body relaxed and neutral, in an universal “I'm comfortable in this situation” body language. 

“Yes, father. It's about Sakumo-oji.” Hiruzen pauses briefly in his signing, glancing at me before going back to it as if nothing happened. 

He hums. “What about him?”

I sigh quietly. 

_ 'So he's not going to make this any easier, huh. Very well.' _

I square up my shoulders, keeping an intent look on Hiruzen’s face even though he's focused on his work. “ _ Kakashi _ told me he's not been himself ever since he came back from his mission.”

For a few seconds, I let the sentence hang in the air, hoping my father would catch the hint. Even if I had pushed him, Kakashi wouldn't have told me anything if he didn't genuinely worry about it. Finally, the hokage puts his pen down, intertwining his long, thin fingers and resting his chin on them. His full attention gives me the courage to finish my thoughts, and I make sure my voice rings out clearly.

“If something went wrong, shouldn't Sakumo-oji be at therapy or looking for help?” I let all my worry show, praying my dad would see the indirect meaning and not get angry about it.

_ 'If something went wrong, shouldn't the village – you – be doing something about it?' _

The hokage regards me in silence for a few seconds, his face betraying nothing. Before I can get nervous, I breathe in and out consciously, feeling the way the air goes through my nose, then back out. The urge to grab the iron ball hidden in my overalls is getting stronger by the second, but by the fourth inhale, my father sighs heavily.

“I understand you're worried about him, Chiyuki, but Sakumo is a grown man and a full-fledged shinobi. He has the resources at his disposal, and he'll look for them if he wants to.”

_ 'The village has already done its job. The rest is up to him.' _

A spark of annoyance blooms inside my chest, but I squash it down before it can grow further. On the outside, I nod, the effort to keep my face neutral nearly making me scream. The thing about not being able to sense ANBU was quickly adding to my already poor nerves. 

“I understand, father. However, with all due respect, isn't it the village's job to assure our shinobi that they'll have something to fall back on?”

It's the first time I defy my father. In his own office and in front of his subordinates, no less.

The realization does not make me proud, or anxious, or afraid. 

_ 'It's okay. The worst he can do is say you're wrong and dismiss you.' _

It's with this odd feeling of calm that I receive his next words.

“It is. And that has been done. You're dismissed, Chiyuki.”

Disappointment fills me up just as quickly as resentment does.

_ 'Is that it? Are you going to do nothing about it? About your friend?' _

In front of me, my father – no, the  _ hokage _ – regards me with that same neutral look. His hokage mask. I breathe out softly, bowing slightly before exiting his office silently, a heavy cloud of gloom hanging over me. I barely even remember to say bye to Sasakibe-oji.

_ 'Great. So he's obviously not gonna do anything. What now? I can tell Kakashi to watch over him but-' _

As I walk with heavy steps away from that dreaded office and the ANBU, cold resignation slowly washes over me. Telling Kakashi wouldn't change a thing. Getting father to help was a far shot. What  _ was _ I thinking?

_ 'You have achieved  _ nothing. _ What you did there was throw a tantrum and show favoritism in front of your hokage and his most powerful subordinates.' _

I arrive at the exit sooner than I'd expected, the brightness of the afternoon making me squint my eyes. Usually, the warm weather and sunlight would immediately brighten up my mood, but not today. I resume my walk home, the bitter taste of failure and shame filling up my mouth and remaining there long after eating dinner and dessert.

 

.

* * *

.

Aunt Hiyori puts the finishing touches on my yukata, straightening the fabric and tightening the obi as we both stand in front of our house's only mirror. I look quite nice, all dolled up, and both the sight and the occasion bring a giddy, silly smile to my face.

Wearing pink and frilly things is my guiltiest pleasure Here, and I absolutely  _ love _ it.

“There you go.” Patting my outfit one last time, my aunt stands up to her full height, dressed in a nice blue yukata. It makes her look younger.

“Thank you, Aunt Hiyori.” She nods at me, motioning for me to be on my way. Leaning on the doorway, Asuma's waiting for me, wearing a simple dark blue yukata himself. He looks extremely disgruntled, but I haven't heard him complain once since I asked him to go with me to the festival.

“Ready?” He asks, offering me his hand. I take it gladly as I nod up to him, and I can't help but smile bigger. 

“Ready.” His young face soften and he nods, about to lead me out of the house and onto Konoha's busy, lit up streets, when the hurricane that’s known as Tooru suddenly comes barreling inside the house.

“Ah! I can’t believe you two were about to go without me!” Our oldest brother doesn’t look that tired, but rather disgruntled more than anything else. His messy hair is even messier and his wrinkly clothes betray how much he ran all over the village.

Catching the daimyo’s wife’s cat was a mission every genin team was going to get at least once.

Asuma, blasé as always, merely shrugs. “We thought you weren’t going to be able to make it.”

Tooru huffs, running a hand through his hair in an attempt to tame it. It clearly doesn’t work, and I giggle. He winks at me.

“Psht, like catching a cat could be that difficult. C’mon, I’ll take my two cute siblings to the festival!” His smile looks so hopeful that not even Asuma has anything to say to that. In a silent agreement, none of the siblings mention his disarranged appearance or the fact that he was supposed to report in to mother after a mission. In a true ninja fashion, the three of us sneak off, Tooru holding one hand in each of his.

Every year, the village holds a huge festival to welcome the new year. We take the occasion to thank the Gods for a successful year and to ask for blessings for the new one that's to come, but the atmosphere is jolly and light as if it were any kind of festival. As we get closer to the main street, where all the food stalls are, I take a deep breath. For once, my iron ball is nowhere in sight, instead hidden in Asuma’s room.

Today - if only today - , I am not the future hokage, or our current hokage's child. I am not here to make acquaintanceships and allies for my future. I will not watch out for my words and keep an eye out on my surroundings at all times, as the second coming of the Shodaime and as a shinobi.

Today, I am simply Chiyuki. A child like any other.

The thought is exhilarating.

“Alrighty kids, listen up!” Our eldest brother claps his hands once, brown eyes shining in the light of the lanterns. His smile is huge, nearly making him close his eyes from smiling so widely. “I have to meet up with my team for a bit, but I’ll be back in time for the fireworks. Don’t get separated, don’t talk to strangers, don’t accept anything from them either, don’t go home without me-”

“Tooru-nii.” I whine, knowing that he’s not really kidding when he says all those instructions. It’s like he doesn’t realize we’re the hokage’s kids in the middle of a ninja village. “We know all of that already! I swear, sometimes you’re worse than mother!”

Said brother gasps dramatically, hand on his chest. “How dare!”

Next to me, seven year old Asuma huffs and lightly pushes our brother towards the heart of the festival, where we know his teammates are. “Just go already, aniki. We’ll see you later.”

Tooru-nii still huffs and whines a bit before finally going, and I can’t help but let a fond smile cross my face.

_ ‘Ah. This is nice. Really, really nice.’ _

“You look awfully excited today.” Asuma comments idly, bumping his shoulder with mine. There are all kinds of smells wafting up to my nose, and my stomach rumbles loudly. 

“Does it show that much?” I grin at him cheekily, squeezing his hand before dragging him to the first food stall of the night. “I'm on a mission, Asuma-nii.”

“Oh?” My brother spots Kurenai and Gai coming in our direction, and waves at them with his free hand. Then, he turns amused dark eyes to me. “And what's that?”

“I'm going to try every single food in here.” He snorts loudly, shaking his head just as his classmates catch up to us. Gai is quick to give me a blinding smile, while Kurenai is more contained in her greeting, but no less honest.

“Hello, my Youthful Friends! A Happy New Year to you!” 

_ 'He's even wearing a green yukata', _ I think amusedly. He strikes a pose, giving us a thumbs up, but no one even bats an eyelash. Asuma and Kurenai are especially used to him by now. Turning striking red eyes to us, the other girl nods, a small smile on her face.

“Happy New Year Asuma, Chiyuki.” Her dark, curly hair is pulled up in a loose bun, her bangs framing her face and making her look even more beautiful than usual. Her yukata's color, a mix of white, gray and dark red flowers, fit her really well and made her eyes stand out.

(Did I have a crush on Kurenai as well? Maybe. But I would never tell this to anyone.)

Gai looks around expectantly, but soon turns curious eyes to me. I already know what he's going to ask before he does.

“What of my Youthful Rival? Is he not coming to this Most Beautiful and Exciting Festival?” My brother squeezes my hand oh so softly, and I squeeze it back just as softly.

_ 'I'm okay, niichan.' _

“Kakashi's not coming today. He decided to stay at home with his dad.” A look of understanding crosses his face, and even Kurenai who isn't in on the loop makes no further comment on it. 

It's been a little over five months since Sakumo came back from that dreaded mission, and although I see him once in a blue moon, Kakashi tells me he's less worse. Not better, no; less worse. He doesn't go on as many missions as he used to, and when he does he's often not the team leader. It pissed me off greatly, but I had already said my piece to my father, who refused to listen to anything more regarding that.

My silver haired friend speaks very little about it, as well. He's worried, I know, but it's not in his nature to cry on my shoulder every time I bring up his dad, and I hate pushing him. Sakumo had gone to therapy at some point, but from what I knew he'd stopped going there.

Paranoia makes me stretch out my senses all the way to their house as I will Aunt Hiyori’s lessons to come to mind.

_ ‘Breathe in, breathe out. There are all kinds of information and stimuli around you. Don’t try to ignore them. Simply acknowledge them for what they are. There is no need to process or judge them. Focus on what you are looking for.’ _

There, at the very limit of my range, I can slightly feel both their chakras signatures, and I nearly sag with both sudden exhaustion and relief.

“I see. We shall enjoy Ourselves for Him as well, then!” I smile genuinely at the green-clad boy, thankful for his outgoing personality. Nodding, I pull on my brother's hand, encouraging the group of children to move further into the festival.

“C'mon guys, I want to try everything before the fireworks.” I grin when a challenging glint shines in Gai's eyes, but Asuma quickly puts a hand on his shoulder before he can do anything.

“Don't. There's no way you'll win.” At his deadpan look, all of us burst out laughing.

_ 'If only we could be content like this everyday...' _

So long as I have food to munch on, I'm happy to let Gai set the pace of our little group as he goes from booth to booth trying out all the games. At some point, he even manages to convince my brother to see who can catch the most goldfish – and what's even more surprising is that Asuma wins, which makes Gai go on and on about his Springtime of Youth.

Two very familiar chakras make their way over to us, and I turn around, mouth full of takoyaki, to greet Rin and Obito. The boy's nearly shining, the dork.

“Ah, it's you guys! We were wondering who was being so loud!” Rin sighs, shaking her head at the dark-haired boy.

“Obito-kun, you were being just as loud not only five minutes ago.” Said boy blushes and sputters, and looking at him now, happy and smiling, makes it hard for me to imagine he could cause Konoha so much trouble later on.

_ 'But that's not going to happen.' _

“I-I just got a little excited!” She giggles cutely, and the boy looks absolutely smitten. 

_ 'Scratch that. It's not that hard to believe he's basically going to start a war because of her.' _

“Youthful Friends! I challenge you to that game!” Gai suddenly exclaims, pointing excitedly at a shooting booth. On the front, many plastic guns were all but becoming unsuspecting victims to spend all their money to win one of the prizes, which ranged from festival masks and candy to big animal plushies. Obito's eyes shone, while Asuma just cringed.

“Ooh, you're on!” My poor brother doesn't even get to say his piece as he's suddenly dragged off to the booth, leaving me with the girls. I look down, having long finished my takoyaki.

“Fried squid, Chiyuki?” Kurenai looks at me knowingly, and we all glance to a nearby booth that sells fried squid, one of the many delicacies I'd learnt to appreciate Here. My mouth waters.

“Yes.” I link my arms with the girls', and they humour me as we head over to the food. On the way, we pass by many people; and for better or for worse, I'm well acquainted with many of them. Idly, I notice this time the girls are dragging me around as I munch on my treat, absentmindedly noting they're talking about snagging the best spot to watch the fireworks.

That Hyuga lady was a medic-nin and also Rin's teacher. Minato and Kushina passed us by as well, the blonde carrying many kinds of prizes and food while being dragged around by his girlfriend. The Uchiha clan's head, Fugaku, and his wife Mikoto. The Ino-Shika-Cho trio. Sasakibe-oji and his family. Michimiya Haru and her siblings, a well-known and rich merchant family that'd begun their trades sometime during the last ten years. Satoru Mina, as well.

Today, however, I don't make small talk with any of them. 

_ 'Let's not ruin this nice night by having to play politics, Sarutobi.' _

Just as the girls finally settle on a nice spot near the Naka River, where there aren't many people, the boys manage to meet back with us, holding their prizes like trophies. Well, except for my brother. The boy looks ready to fall on a bed and sleep for a week.

“Hey hey, look at how much we got!” In Obito's arms sit a random assortment of items, amongst them a black mask he hands to me.

“Here, this is for you!”

Before anyone can get offended on my behalf, I throw my head back and laugh loudly, even attracting the attention of nearby people. I clutch a caramel apple in one hand and the mask in the other, and if I hold it right under the moonlight it glows eerily, the smile painted on it looking even creepier.

The mask he’s given me is slightly too big for my face, painted in dark colors that fit oddly well together. There are two holes for the eyes plus a third one on the forehead, where a knowing, wide and red eye is painted. The snot of the dragon is eye-catching, especially when it was placed so knowingly above sharp teeth. To complete the picture, two horns can be seen at the top of the mask, making it seem even bigger than it already was. It looked more like a demon than a dragon, but I supposed that was the purpose of the whole thing.

“Thanks, Obito.” I snort, handing it to Asuma. Wordlessly, he sighs and kneels so he can attach it to my obi. The accessory looks obviously out of place and it contrasts greatly against my yukata's flowery pattern, but I don't mind it the slightest. Looking back at my friends, only I have noticed the irony of it all, the Uchiha boy looking adorably confused.

“Wait, you actually like it?” He asks, baffled, and Rin looks ready to scold him. I nod.

“Yep. I can wear it when I'm a badass ninja; I wouldn't want people to easily recognize me, after all.” I grin at him, satisfied when realization brightens his eyes and makes him point one finger at me.

“Ah!” Whatever he's going to say next, however, is lot between the loud sounds of the fireworks, bright and big and beautiful in the night sky. 

_ 'This isn't such a bad idea.' _ I muse, sliding closer to Rin, much to Obito's chagrin.  _ 'A dragon mask... how oddly fitting.' _

I erase all thoughts from my mind, leaning my head on Rin's small shoulder and letting myself enjoy the fireworks. Tonight, there are no plans, no politics, and especially no masks to be worn when I inevitably dirty my hands for this village's sake. Behind me, I can hear Tooru and his teammates finally joining us for the display and, against common sense, I blank out on the real world for a few moments, just enough for me to stretch and stretch my senses some more. To my pleasant surprise, Kakashi and Sakumo are somewhere around the Hokages' Monument, probably watching the show as well. The thought makes me sigh happily and smile.

_ 'Life is good.' _

_. _

* * *

_. _

_ 'Life sucks.' _

Is my first thought that afternoon, when I try to sense Sakumo-oji's chakra as usual, and can't find it. 

_ 'Don't panic.' _ I chant to myself like a mantra, hoping and praying to any god out there for me to be wrong, for once in my life.

_ 'He's got to be here. Maybe he's just out of my sensoring range. It wouldn’t be impossible. Far from it, actually.’' _

It made sense. Even if I had gotten better at sensing and tracking down Sakumo’s chakra had become a habit, I was still far from being called a sensor type shinobi. I know, however, that he hasn't been sent on a mission lately, and not being able to sense him, even in the heart of the village, makes my stomach curl in an extremely uncomfortable way. I furrow my eyebrows, ignoring completely our chunin sensei, who's taking great care in explaining the fundamentals of simple jutsu like replacement and clone. 

My heart starts to beat faster inside my chest. Next to me, Kakashi sits oblivious to the entire world, barely paying attention to what's going on. I keep my face carefully neutral.

_ 'Breathe. It's okay. Maybe he's suppressing it. Yes. That's it. He's ANBU, isn't he? ANBU are great at that.' _

To my chagrin, almost a year has passed since that failed meeting with my dad, and I still haven't been able to find a way to sense someone who's suppressing their chakra. Mother had said it would be nearly impossible to do it with an experienced ninja, but I'm on my way to being a metal bender in a world where people breathe out fire on a daily basis. There is no such thing as impossible.

_ 'Why would he suppress his chakra? Maybe someone is chasing him? Or perhaps he just doesn’t want to be found.' _

There’s something icy and unpleasant running through my lungs. Sensing has nothing to do with it, nor does being sent out on missions or not. Mother had given me enough lessons about your gut feeling for me to not take it seriously. I breathe out through my nose and raise a hand. This year's sensei, a bright and polite young man called Arata, pauses in his explanation to give me a curious look.

“Yes, Chiyuki-kun*?” I lower my arm, making sure my chakra is as stable as possible and that my face betrays nothing. If Kakashi notices anything amiss, he doesn't mention it.

“Arata-sensei, may I go to the toilet?” He nods, gesturing at the door.

“Of course. Go on.” I quickly slip away from the classroom and close the door quietly, shunshing my way to the toilet.

Then, and only then, I let the mask break.

It's like all the energy is sucked out from me as I grip the edges of the sink, my knuckles quickly turning white. Absentmindedly, I note I'm panting, and when I look up in the mirror, a somehow paler expression stares right back at me, wide-eyed and desperate.

I turn the tap on with ninja speed, splashing cold water on my face again and again. I'm starting to feel nauseous.

_ 'Breathe. Calm down.' _

I hastily take my iron ball out of my hoodie's pocket, the familiar motion of molding it into random shapes slowly calming me down. A few seconds pass (seconds? Minutes? It somehow feels like hours) before breathing is easier. I still feel nauseous, though.

_ 'Why? Why did he do it?' _

The tears start before I can notice them coming. I haven't cried since I was five.

_ 'Why?!' _

Cold rage washes over me. Furious chocolate brown eyes stare right back at me, my pale face suddenly red from the anger and frustration. I desperately want to hit something, and only the metal object in my hand, steadily sucking up my chakra, prevents me from doing it.

_ 'I thought- I thought he was getting better. I thought-' _

I breathe out slowly, the urge to vomit stronger by the second.

_ 'We were even joking about Kakashi and I ending up on the same team last week. He was better. He even ate seconds.' _

It doesn't add up. It makes no sense. Sakumo-oji was supposed to be better. He was supposed to survive and see Kakashi become an excellent shinobi, he was supposed to-

The metal ball falls from my hands, echoing in the empty toilet and bouncing against the tiles.

_ 'That's... not quite right. Sakumo wasn't supposed to live. He was supposed to die. And it happened, you just delayed it.' _

Bitter, sour defeat makes me frown and brings a foul taste to my mouth. The nausea has gotten stronger now. If I don't move, I'll throw up on the floor.

Yet, I can only fall to my knees, not even noticing when the grey object slides back to me, attracted by my familiar chakra. My hands tremble tremendously, pain and anger and frustration and sadness making the tears fall faster, until a sob breaks out. It makes me startle, and I wonder if I really was the one that just did it.

“Chiyuki.” Outside, far, far away, Kakashi's voice calls me. “You've been there for thirty minutes.”

_ 'Has it already been that long?' _ I think, swallowing back the nausea. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

_ Kakashi. _

“Chiyuki?” He's starting to sound more worried. I can even see his small face frowning, in the exact same way his father does-

Did.

Out of stubborness and desperation, I tune out the world. My eyes fall shut despite the tears steadily falling down, the nausea suddenly gone, and all noise stops. I stretch out my chakra further and further away, longer than I ever had. I reach the village gates, the outposts, the shinobi on their way back. I can sense ANBU – not in the way I would usually sense someone, but in that missing-spider way. I can sense people bustling about, going on with their lives, and yet-

-yet-

It's like Sakumo has vanished. 

A young copy of him stares worriedly at me, small but firm hands gripping my shoulders. Belatedly, I take in a huge gulp of air, not really noticing how the lack of it had made me faint.

_ 'Oh, Kakashi.' _

“What? Chiyuki, what the hell happened?” He demands, voice cracking from the sheer novelty of the situation. It briefly occurs to me that he's never seen me break like this - not even close.

I sob harder.

In a way that should have been awkward but is anything but that, he gathers me in his arms ( _ 'you silly boy, I'm still taller than you' _ ) and holds me tightly, letting me cry and sob and clutch at his clothes. At some point, I feel very familiar chakra signatures approaching us, some more hesitant than others, but none of them are able to pry my hands away from Kakashi, not even when they inevitably tell him the news.

They don't manage to pry his hands from my clothes either.

 

.

* * *

 

.

Death in this world is a bizarre thing, at least to me. It's a surreal thing, almost like an urban legend – you know that shinobi die all the time and that they are only expected to live up until their 40's, if they're really lucky or strong. You knew of people who had died, like your neighbor's child, or your cousin's friend, but it never happened to anyone so close to you.

Much less from suicide.

Thankfully, Sakumo's funeral was a very small thing, and only a handful of people attended, my immediate family amongst them. It was a short occasion, and my father only spoke briefly. A very good thing, since at the moment I could barely stay to be in the same room as him.

Kakashi and I had remained glued to the hip since yesterday, when I first noticed his father's missing chakra signature. I had a feeling that he would have preferred to be alone, to grieve and mourn in peace, but I couldn't do that. Everything was still too raw, too fresh for me to able to let him go, no matter how selfish that made me. Not only that, but whenever I refused to let go of his hand, even during the funeral, not once did he complain or try to pull away.

I didn't know whether that was supposed to make me feel better or worse.

Standing in the middle of my room, it feels too big and too small at once. Next to my futon lay Kakashi's, dark blue in contrast to my pink one. Here, in my small sanctuary, it almost felt like he was a intruder; here, where all my notebooks, scrolls, books – all my thoughts, memories, speculations, notes – are, it nearly feels as if he's not supposed to be here.

Yet, I wouldn't allow him to be anywhere else at the moment. Apparently, neither did Sakumo, because that had been one of the first things he had made clear on his testament. As his dying wish, his son was to be taken in by the Sarutobi until he graduated from the academy, when he would be able to live and provide by himself. While that didn't happen, Sakumo had wanted his son to stay with us, behave, put his comrades above missions and serve me well when the time came.

Even though it hurt, I didn't quite know how to feel about it, but I couldn't even begin to imagine what Kakashi was going through.

His father had just killed himself. Because of peer pressure. 

Konoha killed him. 

The village that I vowed to love and protect, the same village Kakashi had agreed to help protect, had killed his own dad.

Using strength in me I didn't know I had, I force myself to look into my friend's eyes since yesterday. Instead of gazing back at me, he's staring into nothing, eyes fixated on his futon next to mine. 

“Kakashi.” I rasp out, my throat sore. I ignore it and wait patiently for him to blink once, then twice. After that, he finally stares back at me, and it takes everything in me to not flinch.

“Kakashi.” I repeat. The words won't come out.

I'm sorry, Kakashi.

I'm sorry your father died.

I'm sorry you have to stay with me.

I'm sorry I thought I could save him.

I'm sorry I couldn't do more.

I'm sorry our own village took your dad's life.

 

Repeatedly, I open my mouth like a gaping fish, but no sound comes out. 

“Why do you feel guilty?”His voice sounds normal, yet it doesn't. It's like someone took his soul out of his body and put another one in it. The voice is Kakashi's, but the one talking isn't him. It breaks my heart all over again.

_ ‘I did that. The hokage did that. The village did that.’ _

_ ‘The village. The village. What village? What kind of village? What kind of people?’ _

“Because I am.” I whisper. Kakashi-not-Kakashi blinks, confused. It takes me a few more tries until I can get the right words out. “The village drove your dad to do it, Kakashi.”

_ ‘Surely not very good people.’ _

He shakes his head, disagreeing softly with me. “No.”

I feel like ripping my hair out in the face of my blank friend.

_ ‘The village did it.’ _

“Yes, Kakashi, that was what happened. Your dad - a year ago, he made a choice. He chose to save his teammates instead of completing his mission.” Infuriatingly, the boy nods.

“Yes. That's where he went wrong.” I desperately shake my head, my eyes stinging with an incoming onslaught of fresh tears. I blink it all back. 

_ ‘Is this what you thrive to protect? People who put orders above lives?’ _

“No, no, no, Kakashi! He made the correct choice!” If he were in his normal state of mind, the silver haired boy would have scoffed and be ready to argue with me about the right conduct of a shinobi. Not this Kakashi, though.

“No. That was the wrong choice.”

I grip his shoulders, shaking him roughly. “No, Kakashi! All of our lives we hear about the Will of Fire and comradeship and- and that's why we're sent out on teams of four in the first place! Because we – Konoha – are supposed to value our people more than the missions! Yet, that wasn't what happened! This village valued your dad's mission more than our ninja, and he paid the price!”

He blinks again, eyes half-lidded and unfocused. I doubt he's paying a lot of attention.

“Kakashi,” I repeat, not letting go of him, “what's happening to you? How can you still think of serving this village when it was the one that took your dad's life?”

_ ‘How can you still think of serving  _ **_me_ ** _?’ _

The slap comes and goes before either of us has noticed my mother coming in the room, furious and red-faced.

“You insolent child.” She hisses, eyes narrowed into furious slits. I slowly turn my head to look at her, left cheek stinging, and catch Kakashi's surprised eyes in the movement.

_ 'Oh, so now you're paying attention.' _

It's the first time either of my parents has hit me, and it comes from my mother, no less. I should be feeling betrayed, or sorry. Alas, all I can feel is disappointment – in myself, my father, my village, its people. 

I don't resent my mother, no. If I were her, I'd be furious as well. She spent all her life serving the village – first as a ninja, then as the hokage's wife and a member of the council. To hear your own child say something like that was unthinkable in her head.

But I am not, and in my mind, all I can think of when I think back on Hatake Sakumo's death is _ 'this is wrong.' _

She harshly grabs the back of my overalls and shoves me in front of the shocked boy, forcing me into a bow. I don't resist it.

“Apologize right now.” 

I see his bare feet hesitating, taking one tiny step back. I think up of all the times that I thought I could save his dad, all the times I'd thought he was going to live long enough to see his son grow into a fine man and shinobi. I see the villagers, shinobi and civilians alike, living happily despite being murderers. All the apologies I had meant to say not one minute earlier.

“I'm sorry, Kakashi.” I feel the pressure easing up on my back, and I straighten up, making sure to look at my new roomate with the most sincere and open eyes I can manage. 

Wordlessly, I exit my own room, feet silently paddling on the floor all the way to our house's storage room, where the hokage keeps all his scrolls and weapons. Tooru had spent some time here, a few years ago, as mother usually sent him here whenever he did something she didn’t approve. Here, in the dark, it smells like ash and sweat, oil and dirt, ink and old paper, and the combination isn't a pleasant one. I don’t bother to wonder who activated the seal so I could enter the room. 

In my mind, there’s too much and too little at once.

Soundlessly, I kneel in the middle of the room, not bothering to turn the light on.

 

.

* * *

 

.

If you could choose one Naruto character to remain loyal to you no matter what you did (disregarding how you two met and which side they would be on), who would it be and why?

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyy don’t kill me! Even though we still one more chapter of drama and mourning (plus a not so nice adventure), things will start to look up as soon as they graduate!
> 
> I think.
> 
> *Small glossary of Japanese terms:  
> \- Aho means idiot. If you try hard enough, you'll notice that the sound crows make is very similar to the word.  
> \- The suffix '-kun' is usually reserved for boys, but it can be used with girls as well to talk in a more respectful, distant manner.
> 
> In case you’re curious, the mask Chiyuki got from Obito looks similar to this one: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3f/e0/64/3fe064ed3cfd6966241d0922508f2ec1.jpg


	7. Second Section - Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These bonds, she thinks, are just the tip of the iceberg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaah thank you so much for your kind words and your constant support! It really means a lot!!
> 
> I do not own Naruto.
> 
> (The amount of research I put into this chapter is insane, but it was so much fun. I now know how to kill someone in many ways, and possibly get away with it.)

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

 .

Second Section

 .

Chapter Six

.

I must admit I used to frown and wrinkle my nose at kunoichi classes, but if you stop to think about it, they're actually a very cool thing. 

“Pay great attention to the hemlock and learn how to recognize it. The entire plant is poisonous, and a handful of its leaves are fatal if eaten. Can anyone tell me what is its pathological mechanism?” Uzuki Yugao, a small purple-haired girl, raises her hand. Kohaku-sensei, our teacher for kunoichi classes, nods at her.

“Yugao?”

“The hemlock's poison is a myotoxin. It causes a gradual weakening of the muscles until they finally deteriorate.” Hyuga Kohaku, who also happens to be Rin's medic-nin sensei, nods satisfied.

“That is correct. The hemlock is a powerful myotoxin, but it takes up to thirty minutes to affect a person's muscles, and death may occur in the course of several hours.”

Next to me, Rin raises her hand. “Kohaku-sensei, isn't there a bird who can eat it?”

“Yes, there is. The quail eats the plant's seeds, but it is immune to the poison. Do you think eating the flesh of the bird is safe?” After a pause, in which none of the ten girls present know the answer to the question, I raise my hand.

“No, sensei. If the bird eats the seeds, then it digest its contents and the nutrients are distributed thorought its body. Someone could die in an 'accident' because they ate the bird's flesh.”

Our Hyuga sensei nods, content with my answer, and gives me a nod. “Very good, Chiyuki. Now you girls know how to kill someone and make them suffer thorought it, with the added bonus of having low chances of being caught.”

I could only imagine how this kind of class would look like Before. Teaching six year olds how to kill with poison and get away with it would be simply outrageous, but Here they are merely giving us, future kunoichi, more options and more chances to survive in a still male-dominated world. It's a cruel, but cool thing.

“Kohaku-sensei,” another girl asks, this time an Uchiha called Makoto, “isn't there an antidote?”

To which the female ninja shakes her head. “There is none.”

And for better effect, she lets the sentence hang in the air, until the bell rings and we're dismissed from our final class of the day.

I take my time gathering my notes, messy scrawls of all the types of poisonous plants we've learnt today. Many of the plants are the same from Before, but there are also many that used to be completely safe for me, and now aren't. The antidote system is also new, and entirely fascinating to me; Before, a lot of the antidotes were obtained from horses. They used to inject a small quantity of venom into the animal, enough to create antibodies but not enough to kill or make it suffer. Here, only medic-nin are allowed to treat poisons, because it involves a mix of chakra manipulation and a knowledge of the right herbs that's very particular and specific – and everything is done directly on the patient.

“Chiyuki-senpai.” I turn around and see Yugao's young face staring right at me. I don't remember much of her, but I know she entered ANBU at a very young age, like Kakashi did, and that she was a loyal and sensible kunoichi of the Leaf. She was also very cute when she called me senpai, and a very well-behaved child.

 

“Yes, Yugao?” I smile at her, noting how she seems to fidget minutely and keeps glancing every so often at Rin, who's just about finished gathering her own things and is waiting patiently for me.

“...I was wondering if I could study for tomorrow's test with you and Rin-senpai, if you don't mind.” I glance at Rin, who smiles widely and gives me a nod, and I mimic the action to Yugao.

“Sure, we don't mind.” Putting my backpack over my shoulder, I motion for the girls to follow me, and we start the familiar trek to Yukari's teashop, our go-to study place and makeshift library. 

“Do you like studying about poisons as well, Yugao-chan?” Rin asks conversationally, keeping the smaller girl between both of us. We soon reach the main street, thankfully not very busy at this time of the day, and as we pass by an Akimichi restaurant, I glimpse the Ino-Shika-Cho trio and nod respectfully. Just because I would rarely see them around my father's office, doesn't mean we're total strangers, and one day they would be my subordinates. Hopefully.

“I do. I think it's the most interesting subject we've studied so far in kunoichi classes.” I hum in agreement, idly playing with the ball inside my hoodie's pocket.

“I agree. Poisons and venoms are fascinating.” My best friend snorts, and the purple-haired girl between us looks adorably confused.

“Of course you'd like it, Chi. It's the subtlety of it, isn't it?” I grin at her, amazed at how well the girl knows me. She's already a force to be reckoned with.

“You know me too well, Rin.” She giggles, and I swear my crush on her gets bigger every time she does.

“Sub-subtlety?” The younger girl asks just as we reach the teashop, with only a handful of off-duty shinobi in it. Hikari greets us warmly, quickly leading us to our usual table in the back, which is soon filled with snacks, green tea and notes all over it.

Hikari is Sasakibe-oji’s daughter, and she runs the family’s tea shop along with Yukari, his wife. It’s a quaint little thing that was built especially for shinobi to have a place to sit and relax without having to worry too much about exists and fight strategies. The smell of the place, familiar as my own house by this point, is a pleasant mix of baked goods and dried tea leaves that relaxes my tense shoulders as soon as we sit down.  Yukari someway manages to get some very high quality leaves and leaves them to dry herself with some super secret family technique, and I have yet to find a place that sells tea this delicious. She and Hikari manage to get the very best out of every leaf, only fueling my ever growing love for tea Here.

“Subtlety is one of our greatest allies, Yugao. Often enough, untraceable deaths aren't the most bloody, violent ones, but the most mysterious. How long would it take for people to figure out that someone died from hemlock poisoning after eating a common bird for dinner?”

Rin is completely used not only to how quickly my mind jumps from one thought to another, but also the sheer coldness that accompanies it sometimes; Yugao however, looks completely baffled, face scrunched up in an adorable frown.

“So, deaths need to be mysterious?” I hum while munching on some dango, wondering how I'm gonna answer this child. The brunette in front of me, thankfully, saves the day yet again.

“Sometimes, Yugao-chan, you don't want anyone to find out you were behind it, while at other times you want everyone to know that it was you. It depends on your goal, and why you killed that person.”

Once more, the sheer absurdity of it strikes me. Here are three small, pretty girls discussing the dynamics of murder in broad daylight, in a public place. I stifle a snort.

_ 'How the tables have tabled. The me from Before would be horrified, no doubt.' _

“So... I can also use poison to kill someone and have everyone know about it?” I blink twice, turning wide eyes to the child sitting next to Rin. Well, now I know how she got into ANBU so early. I had seen Yugao on screen once, at the beginning of the series, but I had no idea of what her abilities were. Maybe she would turn out to be a poison expert inside ANBU, with how fast she catches up on things.

“That's right.” I try to recover quickly, successful after a sip of jasmine tea. “If you really want to make a scene, you can use the poison found in spitting scorpions, which can cause convulsions up to thirty seconds even _ after _ the person is dead. Those are mostly common in Suna, but there's a species that live near the border between Fire and Wind. Even though they’re rare, they’re not that difficult to get a hand of.”

Rin nods, taking a sip of her own tea. “Yup. What's more, some poisonous reptiles, as well as a few species of caterpillars, can only be found within Konoha's dense forests, and a common effect of their poison is brain damage, since a lot of them are neurotoxins. There are plant-based antidotes for it all over Fire country, of course, but if you use it against a foreign shinobi, their prognostic will look very grim.”

Like two villains, Rin and I look at each other and burst out laughing, which only makes Yugao even more confused. Poison is our favorite subject out of all things we've learnt in the academy so far, and since she's on her way to become one hell of a medic-nin, it wouldn't hurt to know a few things about some of the deadliest poisons there are. Here, there's no such thing as cyanide or arsenic, but in contrast there are that many more toxic plants. 

As for me? Well, the topic is interesting, no doubt, and it's one of my favorites, but ever since the beginning of our second year in the academy the topic has opened doors I didn't even know existed. If I had been worried about dirtying my hands and spilling blood on them, now that wasn't that much of a concern anymore. Sure, I would still have to carry the weight of all those lives forever, but it was a sacrifice I was willing to make; much cleaner, less violent deaths somehow took the worst of the act of killing and put my heart at ease, if only slightly. Besides, the plan was to use the dragon persona – the mask – to kill, and I hoped from the bottom of my heart it would be enough to make me feel like less of a monster.

I have come to terms with the fact that I will have to kill hundreds and order people to kill even more, but it doesn't mean I'll ever be okay with it.

Yugao leaves shortly after, surprising the both of us when she asks if we can all study together again some time again. Rin and I agree, and after short, giggly goodbyes, I'm left alone with my friend once again, but Uzuki's departure makes the atmosphere more somber. As soon as the younger child is out of earshot, Hikari comes by with more snacks and tea for us, though Rin only accepts the drink.

“How's Kakashi-kun?” She asks after a while, poison notes forgotten right under her nose. I sigh, no doubt sounding much older than I actually am – even counting the extra years.

I would never be able to thank Rin enough for her selfless and kind friendship, and how she never seemed to push or pressure me despite always taking the band-aid off my wounds at once, without preamble. After Sakumo's death, two weeks ago, we both became that much closer to one another, for a number of reasons. Kakashi was still living with us, yes, and we still shared a room, but more often than not I ended up walking on eggshells around him, and that pissed off both of us. His dad's death was still too raw for him, even though he would always insist he was fine. He was slowly becoming colder and more distant, and I had no idea what to do.

Besides, Rin could be my friend in a way that Kakashi would never be. Female physiology aside, Rin saw me for who I really was: my mind was too bright to be considered average, but in no way was I a genius. When kunoichi classes began, the brunette approached me with open curiosity and a tint of admiration, but she didn’t mince her words around me, and that’s the thing - Rin doesn’t care about Sarutobi Chiyuki. She just cares about Chiyuki, and that’s just.

Well.

I didn’t realise how starved I was for this kind of recognizement until I started to let other people in. 

It’s scary, sure, but it’s also liberating in a way I hadn’t ever considered. I had been too careful of my social mask, building and fixing the cracks as I went, and had completely ignored the pure friendship people could offer me.

It’s a mistake I’m not going to make twice.

“He's better. Recently, Tooru-nii has sparred with him between missions, and even though he always loses I think it's good for the both of them, if only to let off some steam.” My friend nods, understanding, but going straight for the kill.

“And how are you two?” I groan, slumping in my chair and chomping sulkily on a strawberry daifuku, looking and acting like the miserable six year old I am.

“We're... better, I suppose. I've stopped measuring my words around him, but it still feels stifled, like we're both strangers.” I sulk openly, not bothering to hide how upset I am with this entire thing. It's Rin, after all. She would never make fun of me for something like this.

The girl reaches across the table and grabs my unoccupied hand in hers, squeezing it and giving me a comforting look. I manage to force a smile, which comes out more like a grimace, and squeeze her hand back.

“It's just, it upsets me, you know? I've know him for half my life Rin, and we’re six _.  _ He was the first one to believe and support me when I said I wanted to be hokage, and we spent so much time together, and it felt like we always had so much to say to each other and now it feels awkward to just stand in the same room.” It all leaves me in a rush; all the frustrated tears I refused to let loose, all the apologies I still wanted him to accept, all the unhealthy compartmentalization I’d done in the past few weeks. 

I’m hurt and I’m worried and I’m frustrated, but I’ll be damned if I don’t fix it. 

_ ‘Ah. There’s really no turning back, huh? You’ve really gone and gotten attached to these people.’ _

The brunette nods, still holding my hand, with a pained expression. “I know you're hurting, and I know how difficult things are right now, but you need to talk to him, Chi.” She pauses, looking around the shop pointedly before I catch the hint; a quick scan of the place tells me we're the only clients within it, and no employee is within hearing distance. I nod for her to continue.

“You probably know more about this than me, but Kohaku-sensei said war is approaching, and soon.” I bite my lip, agreeing with her. Father had said the same thing a few weeks ago, and that it was inevitable. We would soon be forced to graduate much earlier than expected, and although we aren't going to be sent to the frontlines any time soon, the thought of a war between all the shinobi nations is still terrifying. Still, I have received her message loud and clear.

_ 'Talk things out before it's too late.' _

“Yeah, I know. Kakashi does, as well. The timing just never seems to be right.”

“Then make your own timing.” I blink, startled, then sit straighter in my seat, barely acknowledging Yukari when she comes by with more tea. 

Well, that’s another look at things. If we're awkward around each other all the time, then it shouldn't matter when I decide to talk to him, right? 

I nod, feeling more determined and motivated, and get up from my seat. 

“Rin, do you mind?” The girl gives me a knowing and proud smile, then shakes her head. She even makes a shooing motion with her hands.

“Not at all, Chi. Go make things right, I'll see you tomorrow.” I can't help but hug her around the shoulders, feeling and hearing her giggles as she returns it. 

Then, I'm off.

.

 

* * *

 

.

I find Kakashi easily after quickly checking our clan’s lands, and a wry smile forms on my lips when I see him sitting in our house's veranda, looking like the picture of calmness as he reads a fuinjutsu scroll – the same one I'd begun my studies on the matter with, and that he found easy, infuriatingly enough.

“Kakashi.” I call out as soon as he's within hearing distance, and the boy blinks before putting the scroll down, looking at me with half-lidded eyes. He doesn't say anything, but from the way he doesn't go back to his studies immediately tells me he's figured it's time we talk.

“Do you want to go grab your stuff?”

For the past couple of weeks, the only survivor of the Hatake clan has been living with us with the bare minimum for his survival; until last week, he'd refused to go back to the apartment he shared with his dad, denying any kind of money or possession Sakumo had left him, including the ryo on his bank account. Perhaps it had been his way of copying, of admitting to himself that his father was really gone. 

After a few seconds of pondering, he nods and rolls the scroll back, putting it back on the room we share and placidly putting his sandals on. Even though things still feel a little awkward, this first step already makes me feel like it's not gonna be this way for long, which makes me feel both anxious and hopeful at the same time.

We walk in silence for ten minutes, an unspoken agreement between us to avoid the busiest streets, choosing instead to reach his former house through alleys and smaller streets. None of us is in the mood for iddle chats and glances of pity. Soon enough, we reach the complex Sakumo and his son lived in, and the boy opens the door with ease. Very few things have been touched or cleaned, mostly the blood on the floor and the fridge that had been emptied, and a thick layer of dust seems to cover the entire house.

Kakashi goes straight to his room without a word, but I pause on the living room. My chest hurts when my mind starts to play tricks on me; it's like I can still feel Sakumo's chakra signature here, which is just ridiculous. No chakra lingers that long in one place, even if the person lived here. Slowly, I walk over to their bookshelf, finding bitter amusement in the fact that the cacti he owned are still alive. Neither of the boys had been an avid reader, but Sakumo had a very interesting book collection, mostly on kenjutsu and different types of swords, although there were also scrolls on fire and lightning ninjutsu and, to my complete amusement, a couple of gardening books – obviously meant for beginners.

The sight makes me snort just as my silver-haired friend comes back from his room with a bag slung over his shoulders, and for a second he looks puzzled until he figures out what I'm laughing at, huffing in the process.

“He never managed to make a plant survive for longer than a month. He even killed the cacti we had. I don’t know how those are still alive.” His dry tone makes me bark out a laugh, the sight clear in my head: Hatake Sakumo, Konoha's White Fang and a feared shinobi considered to be in the same league as the Sannin, despairing over the murder of his plants. 

“I remember father mentioning he had given Sakumo-oji a very strong cactus from Suna, which was supposed to survive under extreme conditions.” This time, my friend joins me in my snorting, leaving his bag on the dusty couch and standing next to me.

“He killed that one in two weeks.” This time, I can't hold back a laugh, being able to see Sakumo's pout clearly. Idly, I notice the boy next to me has relaxed his posture, and I dare think we're almost back to normal.

“I'm sorry, Kakashi.” I blurt out, inwardly hitting myself for being so tactless. He turns impossibly dark eyes to me, and not for the first time I can't read the look in them. He takes a few seconds to reply, but they feel like minutes.

“Why do you still feel guilty?” I lick my suddenly dry lips, wondering how I'm gonna explain this.

“I... don't know, to be honest. I feel like I should have been able to do something.” To my surprise, he snorts and crosses his arms, but a quick look at his chakra tells me he's not being ironic or angry, just annoyed at me.

“I get that you want to be Hokage, but you can't carry every death in your shoulders. The old man died for Konoha's sake, and that was his decision, whether it was right or not.”

_ 'How did you end up comforting me when it was _ your  _ father that died?' _ I think, a mix of emotions inside me, but refrain from speaking.

“I know,” I shake my head, my bangs getting slightly in my vision, “it's just hard for me, I guess. It's the first time...” I hesitate, almost saying it's the first time someone so close to me dies. 

_ 'Kakashi lost his  _ dad _ , Sarutobi, the person he was the closest to. Think. Eloquence.' _ I berate myself before I continue.

“I just never realized how cruel this whole ninja pressure could be.” I finish lamely, and I get the feeling he knows that's not what I was going to say, but he lets me off. The boy nods, not taking his eyes off me, and now I can see how calm and at peace he is with this whole thing.

_ 'He's done mourning.' _ I realize with a start. ' _ You need to, as well. Not only for your sake, but for Kakashi’s and Sakumo’s, too.' _

“Yeah. He never told me the details, but ANBU is especially unforgiving.” He casually agrees with me.  _ Too casually. _

“Kakashi,” I say seriously, “I'm sorry.”

“You already apologized.” He grumbles, unhappy the conversation is still not over. I shake my head again.

“No. This time, I want to apologize properly. Sorry for treating you like I have.”

Kakashi sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before he nudges me in the ribs, the action so sudden I let out an embarrassing squeak. I can feel him smirk underneath his mask.

“Hey!”

“I already told you; you think too much. What's happened, happened. We need to move forward.” A wave of relief washes over me, and I smile. Now this sounds much more like the Kakashi I used to know.

“Yeah, you're right.” Suddenly, however, he sombers up, putting his hands on my shoulders.

“When you're Hokage,” he begins hoarsely, and I smile internally when an inner clarity hits my mind. His dad's death still hurts. He's not a robot. He's going to be okay. “don't let this happen  _ ever _ again.”

I nod, setting my face straight and giving him the most sincere look I can manage. 

“I promise.”

Kakashi nods, letting go of me and sighing. I grin, the atmosphere between us finally light and familiar again, and give him a quick hug before he can run away.

“We're not four anymore.” The young Hatake grumbles, but gingerly returns my sign of affection, clearing his throat after a few seconds. “Okay, enough physical contact.” He says just before lightly pushing me away, and I can't help but bark another laugh. 

We're okay again. 

_ ‘Thank the Universe.’ _

“C'mon, we gotta finish before dinner.” I giggle while nodding, and he rolls his eyes at me before walking over to his father's room with quick, sure steps. I hesitate, not sure if I should follow him, but eventually decide against it in favour of picking up a few books and scrolls off the bookshelf that might be of interest to him later on. 

“Hey, Kakashi.” I say, loud enough for him to listen, his chakra stable even as he rummages through his dad's things. 

“What?” He hollers back, and I distinctly hear the sound of a sword being unsheathed: his father's tanto, the famed White Chakra Light Sabre, which had earned him the White Fang title, no doubt.

“You always say 'when' rather than 'if'. How are you so sure I'm gonna become Hokage?” He pokes his head out of the door, his father's sheathed tanto in his hands, and rolls his eyes at me again.

“Because you obviously want it a lot, and your dad is the current one. You  _ will  _ become Hokage, Chiyuki. Stop worrying.”

“I'm not the only one who wants the position, though.”

“The old man said you would be our greatest Hokage yet.” Kakashi blurts out quickly before going back to his dad's room, looking for an excuse to look busy.

Sakumo believed I would be Hokage – no, scratch that. He believed I would be  _ the greatest _ . 

_ 'Well, someone had a lot of expectations.' _

To my surprise, I don't feel resentment knowing Sakumo expected so much of me; in fact, it makes me proud and even more certain of my decision.

_ 'Just you wait and see, ojichan. I'll become a great Hokage and make you proud.' _ I muse, a content smile on my lips, just as Kakashi's chakra spikes. I turn my head in his direction, confused.

“Kakashi?” A couple of seconds later, his muffled and embarrassed voice answers me, and I laugh freely once more after hearing his answer.

“I found his porn stash.”

.

* * *

.

There are many things I am aware of, yet don’t dare acknowledge. I know all around me there are multiple stimuli just begging me to lose my focus - and, hell, in a shinobi world, that’s just the norm, isn’t it? The trick isn’t whether you can do a certain technique or not; it’s whether you can do it well enough under pressure.

I don’t feel cold nor hot. If there’s some kind of breeze, I don’t feel it either. In the back of my mind, my survival instincts catalog every single chakra that’s within a two kilometers radius, but there’s no need to react to those. All around me, there’s one object, and one object only: the solid iron ball placed innocently not two feet away from me. 

The task Aunt Hiyori had given to me seemed pretty simple. Place the ball on the ground and try to manipulate the metal without touching it. Easy enough, right? Ninja did their ninjutsu all the time without having to touch the source of their chakra nature.

It seemed simple enough, only it wasn’t.

Manipulating chakra outside of your body isn’t really something I can explain in logical terms. There’s a lot to do with instincts and feels and guts and what simply feels most comfortable. 

Projecting your chakra out of your body isn’t an issue even if you’ve got poor chakra control, since it’s something we learn to do starting with the most basic forms of chakra manipulation. Oh, no; the real deal starts when you have to not only project it out but also guide it in its path without any sort of chakra coil or path to help you along. Oh yes, there’s also the fact that, if not properly manipulated, chakra that’s not inside any kind of living being will dissipate and be absorbed into chakra nature in no time at all.

So here’s the thing. I had to guide my chakra, boneless in all its nature, towards the metal ball  _ and  _ make it react to it. So far, I haven’t been succeeding.

“Still at it, peanut?”

My head nearly turns to the voice on its own, but I can’t afford to be distracted now. 

_ ‘I’m sorry, Tooru. But the war is coming and I’ve been progressing slower than I’d like. I need to get stronger. Better. For you and me, and for the village.’ _

A part of my brain register my oldest brother sighing, but my main focus continues to be the metal object. I’ve been doing this for a week now, switching tactics and going over strategies at night instead of sleeping. A tiny piece of me wants to smile at how pissed off Kakashi always gets, hiding his worry behind snarky remarks.

‘You think too loud. Go to sleep already.’

Someone is now occupying the space beside me. He breathes easily and his familiar presence is comforting. I let my body relax, just a little bit. 

I can’t feel chakra swirling inside me, and I doubt anyone can. It’s like trying to sense your blood flowing through your veins; kind of impossible. But when you manipulate it inside your coils, there’s a tingle; it’s barely there and it only lasts for the briefest of moments, but whether you expel your chakra through your hands or feet, that’s where you feel the tingling. 

My whole body tingles as I attempt to manipulate the iron ball for the nth time.

At first, it’s all good. My chakra obeys me like a well-behaved puppy would. It goes in a wobbly line towards the ball, and the object seems to glow and hum for a fraction of second before the invisible energy dissipates, leaving me frustrated once again.

“Y’know, you always were a natural at things.”

Tooru knows I can’t answer, but he seems to be content enough with his monologue. I think he’s taking the advantage of the fact that there’s no responsible adult around to scold him and tell him to stop bothering me.

_ ‘Please. As if my brothers could ever bother me. Not even if they tried to.’ _

“Always. Ever since your headaches stopped and you were this tiny little thing attempting to sense other people’s chakras outside the house.”

_ ‘Breathe in, breathe out. C’mon chakra, do your thing.’ _

“I remember you crawling up the walls while Asuma slept. It’s funny now, but back then it scared the shit out of me.”

_ ‘That’s right, slowly- wait, I don’t remember that.’ _

Focus, Chiyuki.

“Aunt called you a prodigy. Father was terrified.”

My whole body tingles for that fraction of second.

“I was too. Still am, actually.”

The chakra dissipates quicker this time.

I finally turn my head to look at my brother. My sweet, kind and loving oldest brother, who is my own personal sun. Who looks exactly like a mix of our parents, who is the heir of the clan, who has showed me nothing but unconditional love.

There’s softness in his brown eyes while he looks at me, but he’s not smiling. It’s an odd look for him, seen as I’m so used to his carefree and smiley attitude. 

Somehow, I get the feeling I’m really looking at Tooru for the first time in six years.

“For a while, the clan elders talked about making you the heir. Mother was pissed.

He continues to talk as if I hadn’t stopped my training. To my relief, his smile is sardonic and small, but genuine.

_ ‘Please don’t hate me, Tooru-nii. I don’t care about what other people think of me, but neither you nor Asuma can hate me. Please.’ _

“As for me? Well. You know I don’t really care about being the heir. They could have made you the heir and I’d probably be upset, yeah, but I’d get over it, y’know?”

No one had ever told me this. I hadn’t known just how close I’d been to being clan heir, and how close Tooru had been of being stripped of his birthright, even if he didn’t exactly want it. It made my blood turn to ice and fire at the same time.

“And then you nearly got kidnapped.”

_ ‘Wait a fucking second. What?’ _

There’s no mirth in his eyes when my brother laughs. It’s a dry, low sound, one that does not fit him. 

“Don’t let mother hear you use that kinda language, peanut.”

He’s looking at me with love in his eyes. A will to protect, to keep safe and to nourish. I hope he’s seen the same look in my eyes, because that’s all I ever look at my brothers with.

I’m in his arms before I notice. I hadn’t noticed I said that out loud, and I don’t know who initiated it. Either way, it’s… easy. Familiar. Grounding and relaxing at the same time. My brother smells like earth and paper and  _ Tooru _ , and I’m home.

“Yeah, you were too young when it happened, so I’m not surprised you don’t remember.”

We’re both home, but my brother’s mind is elsewhere.

“You were two years old and still getting used to the seal. Headaches weren’t as much of a problem as they’d been before, but you still had them occasionally. On that day, father was working late and mother and Aunt Hiyori were busy running the clan, so it was just the three of us in the house. It was raining a lot, so I thought ‘hey, why don’t we have a pajama party? We gotta enjoy the time away from- from everything’.”

Neither of us decides to remark on that stutter. Tooru’s voice has started to take on a heavy note, as if he’s an adult telling a war story. I snuggle closer to him.

“You and Asuma agreed immediately, so I left you two in my room to grab your futons. I was gone for one minute, tops. One second you were both there, nearly asleep cuddled against each other. The next, there was a flash of lightning and thunder, and you flared your chakra.”

Flaring your chakra can be used for many things. In the presence of allies, it can mean a gentle way to let them know you’re in the vicinity, or that you’re about to enter a room. In the middle of hostiles, it can mean a warning, a signal of distress, a call for help. 

It’s also something you only begin to learn during shinobi training, and definitely not something toddlers should know.

“I didn’t think I was capable of running that fast but, well, turns out I was. I got there just in time to see someone darting out of the open door.”

Pressed against his chest, I can feel as he swallows heavily. Mind reeling, I struggle to understand what happened, why Tooru is telling me all of this, and why no one had bothered to tell me anything until now.

“Don’t go ‘round telling people I told you this, you peanut.” He tries for a half-assed joke, but the warning is there all the same. I was kept in the dark for some reason - and I would figure out why. “It’s not that difficult to think about why people’d want to kidnap you. You’re the youngest kid of the hokage, and at the time you were also the weakest. You’re the smart one here, do the math.”

I butt my head against his chin, weak enough to not hurt but strong enough that he gets my point. I have no doubt I’m sulking.

“You’re smart too. Stop belittling yourself.”

“Beli- where’re you learning all these fancy words?!”

“Not the point here, Tooru-nii.”

My brother huffs amusedly above my head, but doesn’t comment any further. Then, he continues to talk, but the moment is lighter than it was before.

“Until that moment, I didn’t care about being heir - honestly, I still don’t. But I sure started to take training a lot more seriously. Cause, see, peanut, it’s not about being clan heir or the strongest or whatever.”

Tooru shifts his head to look at me, and there’s something so raw in his eyes it kinda makes me wanna cry.

“I’m your brother. I’m your oldest brother, and it’s my job to protect both you and Asuma. No, let me finish.”

My mouth snaps close. It’s not often my brother has something he wants me to listen, and I’ll be damned if I don’t.

“I was born first, and with that came a lot of responsibilities I don’t care for. But it also gave me the opportunity to be the eldest brother of two siblings that are so different yet so equally precious to me.”

For the first time in five hours, I breathe in the smell of freshly cut grass and wildflowers blooming. It’s awakening, yes, but it feels like an omen. A promise. Something stronger than coincidence or destiny.

“You always were a natural, and it’s not difficult to see you’re going to do great things. It was natural for you to flare your chakra, it was natural for you to walk on walls, and it’s going to be natural for you to manipulate iron without touching it. It’s also natural for me to want to protect you, to have the desire to tell you to chill and not draw so much attention to yourself because I’m not sure I can deal with the village elders pressuring you - “

_ ‘Ah.’ _

“ - it’s natural for me to be your big brother, Chiyuki. Even if you go off on your own and become hokage and do great things and leave me behind - “

_ ‘My heart hurts. This shouldn’t be physiologically possible.’ _

“ - I’ll always be your Tooru-nii. I’ll always be your oldest brother, the one who’ll protect you from the shadows even if you don’t need any protecting - “

_ ‘These bonds - they’re just the tip of the iceberg, aren’t they?’ _

“ - because this job is one I wholeheartedly accepted the moment I was born first. You and Asuma are my younger siblings, and even when you become hokage, I’ll protect you.”

_ ‘These people - Tooru, Asuma, Kakashi, Rin, and so many others -  _ _ they’re _ _ Konoha, aren’t they? That’s the catch. The people are the village. And these people, in particular - ‘ _

“It’s natural for you to be a prodigy and it’ll be natural for you to sprint off ahead while me and Asuma watch your back but - “

_ ‘ - these people, right here, are my Will of Fire.’ _

“ - it’ll be natural for me to follow two steps behind  _ watching  _ your back. Because I’m your brother, no matter how much of a genius you are.”

_ ‘I will become hokage for them.’ _

_. _

* * *

 

 

**.**

**Question: under which kage would you like to work for and why?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE. FEELS.
> 
> This chapter turned out in a much different direction than I’d originally planned, but I can’t say I’m not happy with it. I’m… not particularly well, but I’m getting there. My dog died last week and everything is too raw still, so writing this last part full of feels wasn’t difficult. It was quite freeing, dare I say.
> 
> Please do tell me what you think about the Sarutobi siblings’ relationship.


	8. Third Section - Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chiyuki finally starts to go out of her comfort zone. Only time will tell how she'll adapt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing this chapter, I realized I haven't been as clear about Chiyuki's progress as I'd have liked to be, and I apologize for that. We're going to see just what she's capable of and what are the extents of her unusual ninjutsu as well as her other abilities, but it might seem out of nowhere and I do regret that. All I can ask of you is that you remember she's been training all this time.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

.

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

.

Section Three: Study until your head hurts.

.

Chapter Seven

.

When I was a child, my father, the deceased and honoured Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen told me something early during my journey, and it stuck with me during my entire shinobi career. I can still remember his face, clear as day, as well as the placid tone of voice he had when he said it:

"If the Hokage was simply the strongest shinobi in the village, there would be a lot more candidates, don't you think? Study, Chiyuki, and not just books – study real life politics, people, economy, clan dynamics, our history and origins, and anything else you can get your eyes on. Knowledge is much more powerful than brute strength."

I strongly suggest that you take that advice to heart, much like I did. Knowledge is never lost, and if you learn how best to use it, I can assure you will be both a respected and feared hokage. Even though the villages are severely lacking books and scrolls on their history and early days for many reasons, you will be rewarded if you go the extra mile to look for them. Often enough, the rarest books aren't in the possession of clans or kages, but with monks and inside lost, abandoned libraries.

Soak up knowledge and make sure you practice what you learn. Be aware of the fact that the majority of the elders, especially those who hold a high political position inside their village, are conservative and know very well how to hold a grudge, therefore direct messages and history facts delivered to their face often enough will get them to at least see your point. I cannot guarantee your success, however.

Keep in mind that theory is not everything nor the most important part, but it is the start of everything, so do not take any knowledge lightly. Learn about as many things as you can, and make sure to pay special attention to new publications and false scrolls. Find out how to differentiate between the original book and the false one, for untrue knowledge may as well be your downfall.

.

* * *

.

Our clan's library probably isn't as big as the Uchihas or the Hyugas, but it is a huge one nonetheless. All of our records, scrolls and books are kept in a big old house right in the middle of the compound and all the sliding doors are usually kept open. The library has two floors, and each floor has two clan members taking care of it - it's more a 'keep everything clean and organized' job than a 'stop anyone who doesn't have access to it' because aside from clearly labeled chunin and jounin-level scrolls, anyone can read anything.

On the shelves there are hundreds of books on all sorts of chakra-related topics as well as traps, poisons, history, geography, jutsus, and even your occasional fuinjutsu scroll. A lot of the more important stuff, however, was kept in our houses - the clan head's house.

We actually don't live very far from the main gates, because our clan isn't a big one, but I wouldn't say we live on the edge either. The clan's head house is on a very nice patch of land that has a very big backyard with Hashirama trees and close to the library, so everyone can easily access it should they want to. Deep within our house there is a room where father keeps all his weapons and scrolls, and amongst them are the ones he received from the Second Hokage himself.

' _Let's see… it should be around here somewhere- ah, here.'_

All of us clan head's children can come and go, although father had made it clear to us that we shouldn't attempt any of the techniques or try our hands at any of the weapons without supervision. That was completely fine by me, since last time I attempted anything like that I ended up eating like a starved pig and then sleeping for three days straight.

' _Notes on Wood Release.'_

It's a can of worms I'm not really sure about opening, actually, but there's a pressing need to get better fast that's weighing me down every time father tells us the political scenario isn't good, and although the only matter that comes to mind is the Kannabi mission, I know better than to not listen to my guts.

The scroll, written by Senju Tobirama on his brother's chakra release, is an old but well-kept scroll that hasn't been read many times. From what little mother had told me, the Second Hokage had split his belongings amongst his students before he died, although most of it had gone to his favorite - Hiruzen.

' _If there was word that something like this existed, people would be more than willing to kill for it.'_

I shudder as an image flashes behind my eyelids. A pale person with dark hair appears for one millisecond and then-

Then the image is gone, and I have no idea what to do with this information.

' _...alriiiight… so there's someone who looks like this that shouldn't know about the existence of this scroll. Yeah, okay. Thanks, brain.'_

Physically shaking my head, I carefully take the scroll and head to my room. It's mid-afternoon, so Tooru is bound to get home soon. I spread my senses and there, just around the corner are Asuma and Kakashi on a silent taijutsu spar.

' _Tsk. Taijutsu.'_

A bitter taste fills my mouth.

' _Just because your stamina sucks it doesn't mean it's not important to learn proper taijutsu, Sarutobi. Get your priorities straight.'_

I silently slide open the door to my room and head straight to my desk, full of papers and scrolls neatly organized by subject. I reach down and grab a blank scroll as well as a brush before opening the Second Hokage's handwritten scroll. Skimming over it, I realize that everything is neatly written down in topics rather than a full text, and that his notes are almost like a diary where he keeps track of his brother's progress each day.

' _Twentieth spring, day fifth. Brother is still unable to use anything other than Wood Release, but he has gotten better at manipulating it at an alarming rate.'_

Briefly wondering if it was Hashirama's or Tobirama's twentieth spring, I continue.

' _Twentieth spring, day twelfth. Crafting weapons is beyond his reach, but today he built a new house for clan member Fuyuki. Although the foundation does not seem to be the most solid one, it is a remarkable feat.'_

Well, this is a bummer. The Shodaime was, apparently, good at the things I'm not, and likewise. If I have a metal object, I can easily shape it into a staff, kunai or even a katana, but making a house out of it is far from my reach - rather, it's not really my objective.

Senju Hashirama had one big advantage: there are trees everywhere. His Wood Release must have been relatively easy for him to manipulate since nature chakra is so  _used_ to it, when it's the exact opposite for my own Iron Release. If I want to manipulate it, it has to be in a direct and objective way, not to mention that creating spikes or columns of metal outside of my body would require stamina I don't currently have.

A little more than disappointed, I move on.

' _Twenty-second spring, day fifteenth. Following brother's vague suggestions, I brave on my quest to manipulate water as easily as he does wood.'_

I roll my eyes, realizing that the Second Hokage was a big drama queen.

' _To craft a durable weapon out of one's own chakra release requires the user to condensate chakra before releasing it. After its birth, the weapon must receive a constant flow of chakra to remain stable. The amount of chakra depends, predictably, on the size of the creation.'_

Light bulbs go off in my head at the same time warning bells do.

' _Oooohh, the_ possibilities _.'_

There is, however, one particular light bulb that shines brighter than any other. My arm extends and swiftly grabs a scroll on my left, one that I am very familiar with. I open it and place it on top of the other ones, taking a minute to appreciate the design and the notes written in Tooru's messy handwriting.

"What're you so focused on?"

Maybe it's the crazed look in my eyes, or the aura I currently have. Either way, Asuma takes one cautious step backwards as I show him the weapon's design with a grin.

"I'm going to build my own iron club, Asuma-nii."

My brother, to his credit, doesn't even blink. Going along with the flow, he walks the three steps to my desk and peers over my shoulder at my notes, humming under his breath.

"How're you going to deal with the weight problem?"

"I'm going to make it out of my own chakra instead of asking a blacksmith to make one."

I can feel Asuma's eyebrows shoot up to his hairline, but after five years of dealing with my crazy bullshit, the eight year old has learned to not question everything I do.

"I look forward to it." He says as he messes up my hair, and I suddenly feel like I can take over the world.

.

* * *

.

A lot of changes came with the new year, but the most amusing one had definitely been the Chunin Exams.

Turns out that everytime the exams are held in Konoha, the survival part will always be held in the Forest of Death, without fail. It should make for a predictable and relatively easy exam, but Konoha shinobi know those particular training grounds are anything but - and, somehow, that knowledge doesn't give them any kind of advantage.

The one who had told me this had been Sasakibe-oji, with no small amount of amusement.

"You'd think that by now the other kages would at least have an inkling of what is to happen here. Although it is called the Forest of Death for a reason."

The first part, always some kind of intelligence test, always changes. It may be an information gathering task, or a strategy one, or maybe even one that evaluates your deduction skills. Either way, it will inevitably have some kind of psychological twist to it specifically designed to mess with the candidates' minds and cut down the weak minded ones in a single strike. Needless to say, T&I was always in charge of that part.

The third part is also the same every year; a full out brawl between the remaining genin, who are meant to dogfight their way to the top. A month is given for the candidates to plan their strategies and train against their opponent, but what will really make it or break it for you isn't if your strategy works, but if it fails.

Chunin, as a general rule, are qualified to lead squads and go on solo missions outside of the village because they have the ability to make up strategies as they go, adapting and twisting things and taking in all of the variables. Sasakibe-oji had certainly told me enough of that, and I had the feeling that was a so not subtle hint for me to work on my strategy skills.

I also made sure to tell all of that to Tooru-nii, who was going to take the exams with his team.

"Oh? Well, I'd figured it had something to do with that, given that we have to dogfight our way to the top in a single day."

He had then smiled at me; a secret little thing that was full of love and amusement, and that's when I knew he already had figured everything out and was just amusing me.

The little shit.

My brother, however, hadn't even needed to take the exams. Why, just a month before the first part he and his team were sent out on a simple escort mission which turned out to be anything but.

"Nothing seemed out of place, y'know? The birds were chirping, the trees were rustling, the client was bitching - it sure seemed like a boring mission!"

Tooru, the goofus, looks entirely too smug in his brand new chunin vest. Kakashi and I catch each other's gaze and roll our eyes, which earns an afronted look from the eldest.

"Hey! Respect, you ungrateful cockroaches! Now, where was I? Ah, yes, the client. He's apparently a distant cousin of the daimyo's wife or whatever and wouldn't stop complaining about the road and ninjas and the food - even though he clearly was the one who hired us!"

Taking pity, Asuma and I nod, trying to look interested. Kakashi just looks ready for a nap.

"Okay, so the first couple of days were pretty chill, right? Nothing out of ordinary happened. But then!"

I can't help but smile as Tooru's eyes lighten up and he gestures wildly with his arms, as if that alone could bring us all back to that moment. In this moment more than any other he looks like a kid, and I can't help but resent the promotion.

Not that my brother doesn't deserve it - no, far from it. In the last couple of years, our eldest brother has really advanced in his training. He's especially unforgiving with kunai and has never missed a bull's eyes for the last few years, and I know he also has more than a few earth jutsu hidden under his sleeve.

It's just that-

"Right as we were setting up camp on our second night, bandits! But they weren't your ordinary bandits, no sir! There was a rogue nin in the middle of them - the leader, apparently."

-Tooru is twelve. My sweet, sweet brother is only twelve and the war is closer than ever and-

Fingers intertwine with mine. I don't need to look to know it's Asuma's, and I don't need to look into his eyes to know he shares the sentiment.

"-and then that idiot of a noble got himself kidnapped and push came to shove because then everyone got separated from each other and guess who ended up with that dumb skinny boy? Me!"

It had been a matter of storytelling and a lot of exaggeration from the client, but Tooru's performance had impressed the client so much that he demanded a field promotion for my brother. Those are rare and hard to come by, and if the daimyo says you deserve a field promotion then you're gonna get a field promotion, but-

-but-

-if I could have postponed that promotion even if just for a few months, I would've.

.

* * *

.

And of course, 3 months within the new year, the inevitable came upon us.

"We are officially at war."

It's the first thing my father says as soon as he sits down to eat, earning four frowns and one sigh, the last one coming from my mother. He looks much more tired than I have ever seen, with deep, purple bags under his eyes from stress and lack of sleep.

"Does that mean we'll be put into teams, father?" I ask, for once in my life not hungry. It seems my family shares the sentiment, all of our food untouched. He nods, somberly.

"Unfortunately, yes. I managed to stand my ground for the younger ones, but from third year onwards you will be shuffled and put into teams." There's a deep regret and a sense of hesitation in his voice, and I can't help but shudder mentally at how brutal  _that_ meeting must have gone.

"So we'll have teammates from other classes." Kakashi comments, managing to keep a straight face despite the heavy atmosphere.

"That's correct. Your teams are already decided, based on your sensei's analysis of your abilities and performance so far."

As if we had practiced beforehand, the silver-haired boy and I glance at each other, no doubt wondering the same thing.

_'Will we be put on the same team?'_

Unlikely, but still not impossible. In canon, Kakashi's team had been a combat one, hence why they were sent in such a dangerous mission like Kannabi had been. They hadn't been, however, heavy hitters; Rin, as a medical-nin, was essential to a combat team, but heavy hitter teams were known for being literal power cells, people that ended their fights in flashy seconds. If I somehow ended up in Team Minato, we'd probably become a heavy hitter team, but I honestly don't see how that dynamic would work between Obito disliking Kakashi and Kakashi ignoring Obito with my (barely average) social skills in the middle.

Being on the same team as Kakashi would bring many advantages, no doubt, but Team Minato would be just like Team 7 and follow Murphy's Law everywhere they went, and although I want to change a few of the events during the war, being part of such a troublesome team isn't in my plans. Especially not when you consider the entire Kannabi fiasco.

Considering my own skills as a whole, I could end up in any team, probably. There weren't enough medic-nins to make up for combat teams, so that would leave heavy hitters, search and destroy, intelligence gathering, and tracking. Thinking critically, the skills that would benefit my team the most are my ninjutsu and-

And…

Oh.

_Oh._

' _How could you have been so stupid, Sarutobi?!'_

I vaguely notice Kakashi giving me a sideways glance, but there's no way I can get out of the self-pity hole I've jumped into. Not even when I'm having such a nice pity-party in the middle of dinner.

' _I had never realized how I only have my ninjutsu to fall back on - and it's not even close to reliable!'_

I did hone and sharpen the Iron Release over the past years, and even though it's enough to not get me killed, I don't have a plan B in case it turns out to be useless. My taijutsu is average, if you don't count my five-year-old-body stamina. My genjutsu is also average, seeing as I never yearned to learn more than what the Academy taught. Tracking skills are nonexistent. Sensoring is average. I'm useless at fuinjutsu. Don't even get me started on medical ninjutsu.

' _That's the thing, Sarutobi. Without your fancy Iron Release, you have nothing to fall back on. All your other skills are average, and that's what you are. Average.'_

How am I going to  _survive_ in this war?

"Kusa finally tried to break into the Land of Fire last night. The official statement will be given tomorrow morning." Then, my father turns to the three youngest children in the room, and regards us with a quirk of his lips. "Whether you end up on the same team or not, remember to be careful and to trust your teammates. Most of all, trust your jonin sensei."

Kakashi nudges me with his foot, a light touch that should have gone unnoticed at the table. There are a million questions in his eyes, but he thankfully knows not to press in front of my family. Really, the last thing anyone needs is a breakdown right before a fucking war.

Across the table, Asuma and I exchange a worried look, but all children nod to my father nonetheless; we knew that there really wasn't a choice in this matter. Tooru-nii kinda looks like he wants to protest, but one sharp glare from mother makes his mouth snap shut.

_'Oh, Tooru-nii, you worrywart. We'll be fine. Probably.'_

Tooru is already a chunin, so of course I'm worried about him. I also know, however, that if things don't change too much, he'll survive and live until Konohamaru is born, at the very least. He would be expected to lead teams in this war, though, so the silly boy should really be more worried about himself than us.

Sleep comes easy that night for no one in our house.

"Are you going to move out?" I don't bother hiding the sigh in my voice, lying on my side and staring at Kakashi's unmasked face next to mine, most likely for the last time in a while. It really was a pity – just as I was starting to get used to it, we'd be apart again.

He nods before huffing and running a hand through his hair. "Yeah, but I won't go far. Your aunt insisted I live on that building across the street."

I blink, surprised, and then giggle, relieved and relatively calmer now that I know he'll be two seconds away from me. "That does seem like something Aunt Hiroko would do." Kakashi snorts and we fall into a comfortable silence, until eventually he closes his eyes, chasing sleep.

For the past few months, Aunt Hiroko had been overseeing the construction of a couple of new apartment complexes across the street, no doubt thinking of the sudden homeless genin we'd have with the start of this war.

 _'This family, I swear...'_ I think, exasperated fondness preventing me from putting venom in my words. Just like her brother, Aunt Hiroko simply wants what's best for the village and its children, and although the siblings don't always succeed, I can always tell they have the purest of intentions.

For a couple of minutes, I keep on thinking fondly of my family, thankful for their presence and their morals in my life, and that's how drowsiness finds me until a terrible, nagging thought makes itself known in my mind once again.

' _What am I going to do?'_

The urge to slap myself is strong, but Kakashi's slumbering face prevents me from doing anything, although it doesn't really help with my increasing frustration.

' _Alright. Calm down. Breathe. Think.'_

It takes longer than I'd like for my brain to finally stop wallowing in self-pity and start working, but when it finally does, it goes overdrive.

' _Alright, okay. I need a plan B, and possibly a plan C as well. Ninjutsu can't be the only thing in my sleeve.'_

Possessing a skill that could work on all ranges is definitely something I'm grateful for, but it means moot if I can't last longer than five minutes in a fight. Ideally, ending things as quick as possible is what I should go for, but in case things don't go as planned…

' _First thing on the list: increase stamina yesterday. Talk to Gai about it.'_

I'm probably never going to be a taijutsu master like I'm sure Gai is going to be, but that's fine with me. I just need to be more proficient in it than your average ninja.

' _Speed is above average. Work on speed and also efficient strikes. I need to be able to keep enemies from getting too close, and to be able to end fights quickly if it comes down to a punching match.'_

I'll also never be able to punch through mountains like Tsunade, but that is also A-okay with little ole me.

' _Genjutsu is out of the question. That shit has great chances of messing up with my seal and I am not going to risk that. Tracking is also a no, seeing as I don't have a sensitive nose or any kind of animal that could help me with it.'_

I  _could_ try and work on my intelligence gathering skills, but that would involve a lot of theatrics and undercover missions and honestly? I would need to stay under the radar for it to be effective, and who the hell would want to have a hokage they don't even know?

' _I'm not even going to try medical-ninjutsu again. My entire clan knows about that one fish I brutally killed, and Rin hasn't forgiven me for that yet.'_

I don't understand a shit about fuinjutsu, which is just plain frustrating because that little true genius Kakashi had taken to it like a moth to a light.

' _It's not my fault none of that mumbo jumbo makes any sense. How Kakashi can understand it is beyond me.'_

That leaves sensoring.

' _Huh. Wasn't there an idea about a year ago? What was it again?'_

It had been about the chakra that lingers before it's absorbed by nature chakra, and if it would be possible to sense someone in that way. Father had advised against it, because it's supposed to be difficult, but.

But.

' _It's all I have left. I'm going to have to work on my sensoring skills one way or another.'_

Ideas start to flood my brain, being discarded almost as fast as I can form them. I can feel a headache coming.

' _I don't need to be physically present to sense lingering chakra, do I?'_

' _Well, that's assuming the person used nin or genjutsu. If they only use taijutsu, the point is moot.'_

' _But there's no ninja who only uses taijutsu, except for Gai.'_

' _In Konoha. What if there are others in the other villages?'_

' _Back to the original point. I don't need to be present to sense chakra. Maybe I can do something similar to the Aburame Clan.'_

' _Well, obviously I can't just house an entire insect hive inside my body all of a sudden, but the idea stands.'_

' _Perhaps not something from inside, but outside. If I can create iron outside of my body and manipulate it, I can just as well do it_ _on_ _it.'_

' _Can I?'_

"Hey."

Gradually, I focus back on reality. I'm still in my room, snuggled under my pink covers, and there's a pair of piercing dark eyes staring annoyedly at me. Kakashi manages a half-assed glare, but it's clear he's way too lazy to do even that.

"Stop thinking so loudly. Go to sleep."

I smile at the grumpy boy in front of me despite the glare being directed at me. His face, so similar to his dad's, is even starting to show the same smile lines, usually hidden by his mask. Taking advantage of the knowledge he's not going to protest, I half-crawl, half-snuggle closer to his warm body, and the genius lets me sleep fall asleep like that.

' _Something tells me I can.'_

.

* * *

.

On the he next day after lunch, Asuma, Kakashi and I head to the Academy together, the numbers of the classroom we're supposed to go to memorized and different for each of us. The sight had been relieving as well as a little bit sad, but I knew that Kakashi would end up on a good team, as well as Asuma, even if they begged to differ in the beginning.

Already, he effects of the announcement are visible even in the civilian district of the village. Everywhere I look, there are vendors and shop owners donating supplies to the ninja in the Genin Corps, and all of their faces look grim, sad or a mix of both. As we move further into the shinobi district, though, the atmosphere is very different; there are many grim faces, yes, but all of them are focused on their task at hand, as if having a sense of urgency will help their nerves. Every single shinobi is busy doing something or another, and I have a strange sense of pride in realizing that even though war is never any good, we at least seem to be well prepared.

That meant in more ways than one, including something as seemingly fickle as outfits.

Graduating from the Academy in the middle of war meant less pompous ceremonies and more practical attitudes, which meant that there actually wasn't a graduation ceremony. Instead, the Academy had gifted each new genin a standard kunai pouch made of sturdy leather and stocked with the basics a ninja might need: a few kunai, a few shuriken, a tiny first aid kit and an extra space for whatever you wanted to put in there.

It became part of my arsenal, as well as the brand new Konoha headband tied around my neck and my new outfit. Being genin meant no more pink overalls, which was a shame, but mother had found a way around that.

Instead of the impractical outfit I was so used to wearing, I now sported a short-sleeved grey kimono with white stripes, made of a high-quality cotton that was durable yet soft enough to move as I wished to. Mother had found a compromise in the pale pink obi that tied the kimono in place, and since it only went to mid-thigh, my legs were covered with dark socks that also acted as compression ones. Add to that your usual black ninja sandals and the Academy-issued kunai pouch and ta-da! A seven year old girl off to war looking cute yet ready to kick ass.

Kakashi and Asuma had been both forced by my mother to change their outfits as well, much to their displeasure. However, even my silver haired friend had to see the appeal in the durable cotton his clothes were made of, dark blue in contrast to his pale skin and wild hair. My brother, ever the practical one, had stuck with a simple mesh shirt and a vest full of hidden pockets.

We reach the Academy building all too soon, and I look at my brother with one last, meaningful glance. I hold a fist up, making an effort to smile, and he raises his right fist, grinning lazily as well. Instead of bumping our fists, though, our arms intertwine briefly, and we soon let go.

"Good luck." I say, with more confidence than I feel, and he nods at me. Then, I turn to Kakashi, who had glanced to his left out of courtesy, and we both nod at each other.

"Be nice." He snorts, shoving his hands on his pockets, which makes Asuma huff out a laugh.

"Are you my mom?" Even though the words are snide, his tone isn't, and it suddenly strikes me that he's genuinely worried about my own team.

_'You focus on yourself, Kakashi. Heaven knows you'll need it.'_

The three of us head our separate ways, each going to a different classroom inside the school. Taking the corridor on the left, I soon reach the door number 9, and even without glancing outside I already know there is one person inside even though it's still ten minutes early.

 _'Of course he'd be here first.'_  I think fondly, a genuine smile forming on my lips out of anticipation.

I open the door swiftly and silently, sliding it closed as soon as I come in. Then, as I turn around and see someone doing push-ups in the middle of the room, I can't hold back my snort.

"Hi, Gai." The boy wipes his head to look at me so fast he might be in danger of breaking something, but I'm met with a familiar, blinding smile as he stands up.

"Youthful Chiyuki, so you are my Teammate! Yosh, let the Springtime of our Youth bloom even more beautifully now!" I smile at him, wearing his signature green jumpsuit, and can't help but feel immensely relieved that at least one of my teammates is someone I know I can trust no matter what.

Before I can answer, though, I feel a boom of chakra and smoke in the middle of the classroom, and then  _there is Akimichi Choza standing behind the table and laughing heartily and ohmygod-_

"Hahahahaha! It's good to see my cute little genin so excited and getting along already!"

My first thought is that he's  _big,_  both in height  _and_ weight. He's definitely taller and bigger than anyone else in my family by far, and it's really intriguing to imagine how someone so big can move as gracefully and silently as a ninja has to. Just then, someone else else enters the classroom, a slightly exasperated look on his face. The bandanna on his head is something I'd recognize anywhere even if he wasn't nonchalantly munching on a senbon, but Shiranui Genma has a very distinct face even if he tries to be inconspicuous.

"Well, now we have the whole crew! Why don't we go somewhere and get to know ourselves better?"

My second thought is: Choza is a hurricane.

Naturally, we go to an Akimichi's place, and it's this really nice and cosy barbeque place with a lot of space between the tables and clearly designated entries and exits – made by shinobi, for shinobi. Choza greets the man behind the counter with the same enthusiasm he had greeted us earlier with, and I have the feeling that this man is in a constant state of contentment. We all sit in a table in the far back of the restaurant, hidden from the public eye and where we can talk without anyone overhearing us. Soon enough, we have meat and vegetables grilling in front of us, and even though I just had lunch I feel my mouth watering at the sight. Apparently, the way not only to a man's heart, but also to erase any possible awkwardness, is food.

"Help yourselves, children! Eat, eat, it's on me today!" After Gai's brief shout ("Yosh!"), he grabs a piece of meat from the grill and contently eats it, the rest of us following shortly afterwards.

"Tell me a little bit about yourselves, your likes, dislikes, abilities, that sort of thing! Why don't you start?" He's looking at me, nestled between my two male teammates, and I put down the grilled broccoli I was about to eat. Being suddenly thrown into the spotlight like this makes me a little bit nervous, and I have to make a conscious effort to not clear my throat.

"Hello, my name is Sarutobi Chiyuki, and I'm seven years old. I like to drink tea and to spend time with my brothers and friends. I dislike unfairness and raisins. My specialty is ninjutsu." Then, I made sure to lock eyes with Choza, then both Gai and Genma before bowing my head slightly. "Let's work well together."

Choza's loud, hearty laugh booms not only a second later, and it makes me wonder if it was something I said. "There's no need to be so formal, Chiyuki! We're all teammates here!" I nod, a bit baffled, but relieved nonetheless. I hadn't really noticed until now, but I did tend to be a little bit formal with everyone I was meeting for the first time – something mother had ingrained into me quite early.

I relax further in my seat and finally eat the now cold broccoli. From my left, I can feel Genma stare holes in my head, but I ignore it in favor of listening to Gai's introduction.

"Yosh! My name is Maito Gai! I am eight years old, and my Passion is Challenging Myself Everyday so I can be Each Time One Step Closer in Becoming a Youthful Taijutsu Master! I dislike people who take advantage of the weaker ones!" Choza grins whilst he chews on his fiftieth piece of meat, and nods proudly at Gai.

"Well done, Gai. It's always refreshing to see people like you." Sitting on my right, Gai beams at him and gives him a thumbs up before he resumes eating. Then, he turns his eyes to Genma, who hasn't said a single word ever since he stepped into the classroom. The boy sighs, but complies.

"I'm Shiranui Genma, and I'm ten years old. I like pumpkin broth and I dislike spinach. My specialty are senbon." Choza then nods, thoughtfully, but still smiling. All in all, Genma is not quite the cheeky and laidback person the anime had showed, if my memory serves right, but then again, many children underwent drastic changes until they reached adulthood. I suppose that being Gai's teammate had something to do with him being less apathetic in the future.

"Very well, children! I am Akimichi Choza, and I will be your jonin-sensei! I like visiting all the food shops whenever I can, and I dislike people who waste food. My abilities will be shown later on!" Then, he laughs yet again, but it isn't annoying; it's a really deep, hearty and nice laugh, and I'm smiling before I can stop myself. It seems to be contagious.

We end up staying nearly two hours in the restaurant, eating and talking and laughing – although Gai and Choza-sensei do 90% of the talking and laughing – and it's a really nice atmosphere. Even Genma joins in with a couple of bad jokes every now and then, and I was right; Choza-sensei's laugh really is contagious.

Although I do see Genma and, on a smaller scale, Choza-sensei glance curiously at my forehead, neither of them asks anything. I've been around Gai long enough for him to know about the seal, but it wasn't exactly common knowledge that my yin yang chakra was messed up. Last night, one of my biggest concerns had been about whether I'd hide my seal or not, but by morning my decision was made.

The two black lines are part of who I am, for better or for worse, and I'm not ashamed of them, not really. What bothers me are the curious stares and the need to explain everything all over again, but I couldn't hide away that part of me forever. This morning, I grabbed the bangs that usually hide the seal and brushed them backwards, securing them at the top of my head with a pale pink hair clip, successfully showing my off my seal to the world. It's there anyway, and I gotta deal with it one way or another, so I left it at that.

At around four in the afternoon, the four of us exit the restaurant, and I take a few seconds to spread my senses further around Konoha to try and check in on my boys, and fortunately neither is out of my limited sensor range. Kakashi is, as expected, with Rin and Obito, somewhere around Training Ground 5, and Asuma has Kurenai on his team as well as someone whose chakra signature I don't recognize.

"Let's head to the closest training ground then, children!"

Choza-sensei earns himself three confused stares with that sentence, but he merely chuckles and starts to lead the way.

"Are we going to have our Youthful Test, sensei?" Gai asks the question on everyone's mind while we start walking, Genma on my left while Gai walks over to sensei's right side.

"No, Gai, unfortunately not. I would love to test your teamwork," and here he gives us a wink, "but I know the three of you are more than capable of becoming genin despite the less than desirable conditions."

Well, that was one way of putting it. It made sense, since in theory everyone that graduated from the Academy was combat-ready, but why did Minato insist on applying the bell test?

_'Tradition, maybe.'_

"What I'm going to do is to check your abilities up close. A team that works well together is a team that knows each other's strengths and weaknesses, mhmm? We'll have time to deal with teamwork later."

Choza-sensei said it with the same bright grin he'd been sporting during the day, but there was just something about the way he phrased it that sent warning chills down my spine.

' _You're being paranoid. Calm down.'_

I take a deep breath as we finally arrived at the closest training ground, numbered 15. It was one of the most plain and simple ones out there, with leveled earth and an open field. Perhaps it's because he knows things might get a little wild, but it's clear that our sensei wants us to go all out.

' _That's okay. We prefer all out. We want to go all out and finish it all in minutes.'_

I remember Aunt Hiroko, with her kind smile and stance tips, and breathing becomes just a tad easier.

' _You've got this. Chill. You've got this. It's only the first time ever you're going to show your freaking Iron Release to anyone who's not in your immediate circle, but that's alright.'_

Choza-sensei claps his big hands once, stopping right in the middle of the training ground and gesturing for us to form a loose circle around him.

"Alright, children! Here's how it goes: an all out spar and every person by themselves. Ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu are all allowed, as well as weapons and summoning scrolls, if you have them. We're not too close to anything, so don't worry about being a little wild!"

All three of us children comically sweatdrop at the hearty laugh he gives at the end of his instructions, and although I am a nerve wreck, I'm also anxious to finally show the world who I really am, what I can really do. It's not much, no - far from that, but it's something, and it's a glorious step out of my parents' shadow.

' _Watch me make you proud, Tooru-nii, Asuma-nii.'_

Choza-sensei, in a display of grace I can't help but be jealous of, jumps swiftly backwards and lands on the edge of the training ground, clearly showing us he'll do nothing but observe. From his spot, he bellows:

"Last one standing wins!"

I glance at Gai, who's looking at me with determination and excitement. It makes me grin back at him, again grateful for having a familiar face with me. My eyes then sweep over Genma, who's a little older than us and, right now, a big question mark. He's looking at us with a calculating gaze that does seem rather cold, but then again, I can imagine the resentment he's feeling.

"Anytime, kids!"

As if it was a signal we'd discussed previously, the three of us jump away from each other, each falling into a battle stance.

I close my eyes. Breathe in. Shift my focus inwards.

' _Legs spread out. Right foot forward. Knees slightly bent. Arms loose.'_

I breathe out. Open my eyes.

Everything seems clearer, somehow. Gai's chakra signature is difficult to pinpoint because of his low supply, but easily recognizable. Genma's is sharper, stronger, and better developed. Both boys are tense, muscles nearly spasming with the nervous energy.

I breathe in.

I don't shift my stance, clearly and swiftly cataloguing everything around me. The boys, our sensei, the wind, humidity, weather, heat, length and width of the field, number of trees, plants and small animals nearby. Every sensory input is separated into a chart and put in a column. Each variable ranks from from 1 to 5 in its usefulness, predictability, and malleability. Strategies are made based on high-ranked variables and discarded based on my chakra reserves as well as my energy stock.

I breathe out.

Finally, I'm ready.

' _Let's start and finish this as quickly as possible.'_

In the same moment, the three of us burst forward.

.

* * *

.

 

**Question: Which animal would you like to have as a summon and why?**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I vowed to myself I wouldn't be the kind of person who spends pages upon pages describing a character's appearance BUT Chiyuki will only change her outfit only a handful of times. Also, I spent a lot of time on pinterest looking for outfit ideas and am pretty satisfied with how her design turned out to be.)
> 
> Please sit tight and fasten your seatbelts, dear readers. You're in for a long ride.


	9. Third Section - Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, it feels as if we take one step forward, only to take two steps backwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've gotten a couple of reviews regarding this SO PAY ATTENTION Y'ALL: Shisui won't show up for a few chapters still. There are a lot of things I want to set up before he and Itachi join the fray so it'll still be awhile. Also, if my maths are correct (and there's a good chance they aren't) Shisui's about three years old right now, so our two favorite Uchihas won't appear until a good chunk of the war has gone and past.
> 
> Also, this chapter has gotten way too long so I had to split it. Now that I have a lot of things to cover, the story will move at a slower pace, but hopefully not any less exciting.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

 .

_**Becoming a Hokage 101** _

.

Section Three

.

Chapter Eight

.

A quick burst of chakra and a mere thought is all it takes for my two chakra natures to mix within my body and surround my left arm, briefly turning grey before it brightens and shines like a white colored metal.

' _Gotta keep them away from me, especially Gai. I don't know how the armor would fare against a taijutsu monster like him, but I'm not about to stay to find out.'_

Before either of the boys can get close to me, I will my left arm, now made of iron, to rapidly extend as far as it can hoping to hit one of them. The surprise attack gets Genma out of sheer unexpectedness and slams the older boy into a tree. Gai predictably blurs out and reappears above my modified limb, running towards me at a speed my brain can't even begin to process. I can't afford to think about Genma right now.

' _Faster, Sarutobi. Faster. All that speed training with Kakashi can't have been for nothing.'_

I grit my teeth while my white arm turns back into its original length. A millisecond later, my right leg turns white and extends just like my arm did towards Gai, who is still in the air.

My iron limb connects with his chin just as his foot connects with my cheek, and both of us are sent flying in different directions.

' _Turn leg back into normal. Send same quantity of chakra to both legs to reduce impact. Ignore pain on face.'_

With both legs made of white iron, they successfully take the brunt of the hit and I watch Gai, who had flipped in the air and landed graciously as if nothing had happened. Next to him, Genma is standing up with a pissed off expression, a bunch of senbon ready on his hands.

' _Uh-oh. Abort, abort. Turn legs back to normal. Harden skin. Shift into a defensive position.'_

The rain of senbon hits my arms before I finish hardening my skin, but thankfully the rest of my body is now coated with a thin but sturdy layer of white, shiny metal. Another onslaught of senbon, this time from multiple directions, but all they do is hit my hardened skin and fall harmlessly to the ground. Gai chooses that moment to come back in a flurry of limbs and leaves, somehow alternating between attacking Genma and me.

The older boy surprisingly enough manages to stand his ground being slower but stronger than Gai, grinning triumphantly as he manages to hit the other boy with a well-placed senbon on his right wrist, rendering that arm useless.

The three of us stand just looking at each other for a second, tension heavy in the air. Gai is the only one who isn't sweating and panting heavily, not a hint of exhaustion on his focused face. Genma looks the worst, with bruises and splinters from when I slammed him into a tree plus all the hits he took from Gai, although I can't say I'm much better.

' _I can't drop the armor now. Genma looks like he's about to murder me, and I can't afford to be hit with one of his senbon. Gai has enough bagage to adjust and work around the arm that's not working, but I can't - not to mention the armor still gives me some kind of protection against his hits. It won't stop it, although it will hurt him at the same time it absorbs part of the impact.'_

Still.

Having the armor on (as Tooru had so originally called it) required my full attention and chakra, meaning I couldn't extend my limbs nor sense anything properly, not to mention it was a steady drain on my chakra. Barely a minute had passed since the fight had begun and my muscles were already protesting, my stomach emptying at an alarming rate. I was used to fast-paced spars against Kakashi, but this was just ridiculous.

To keep the armor on I'd have to rely on my taijutsu skills which, frankly, would barely graze Gai. If, instead, I chose to drop it and go back to the heavy offensive with my extended limbs, there was a chance I'd be able to keep Gai away and get Genma with the same technique twice, although that was unlikely.

Neither option looked good.

' _Right, well. Plan A is out, as well as plan B. Plan C, you're all I've got left.'_

Gai blurs in and out of existence once again, coming straight towards me. I drop the armor and the chakra drain immediately stops, and I use the now available chakra to boost my leg muscles. It wasn't a big quantity and mother had been very clear when she told me not to use it often, but I needed a quick and effective way to put some distance between the three of us.

My legs pushed my body backwards in a big arch just before Gai hit me with one of his punches. The boy disappears once again when another rain of senbon falls where we both were milliseconds ago. Gai still manages two kicks on Genma's face before the older boy gets him with a well-time punch to the gut.

The next few heartbeats were precious and I couldn't waste them.

I sit unceremoniously on the ground in a cross-legged position, both hands touching the earth. This was hands down the quickest way to deal with a problem, but it was also the quickest way to drain my chakra  _and_ energy reserves. I had to be fast and precise; in my current state, I had 10 seconds left, tops. After the ten seconds were up, I'd be nearly out of chakra and my muscles would no longer work without more sustenance, and I would be useless.

' _Make every second count.'_

I take a deep breath and close my eyes, images of the two boys disappearing behind my eyelids.

' _Ten.'_

As I take a precious second to feel the earth and will it to work with me, my sensor abilities tell me both boys have put even more distance between me and them, their chakra tense.

' _Nine.'_

I heavily rely on where their chakra signatures are to send an experimental iron column straight from the earth towards them, already feeling the hit on my chakra reserves. Both boys dodge the white metal easily enough, but in my mind's eye, the landscape is mapped out. They can only go so far, and if I have a general location of where they are, they won't be able to land - or dodge in the air.

' _Eight.'_

They land on opposite sides of the training ground. I sense Gai shifting around, but with my eyes closed I can't tell what he's doing. Genma's chakra feels like it's about to explode inside his body with how tightly and tensely it's swirling.

' _Seven.'_

With a kind of speed that should be impossible to have, Gai flies in my direction. In my desperation at the fact he took his weights off, column upon column surges in his path in an attempt to slow him down. He merely jumps over them, their heights apparently not bothering him.

' _Six.'_

An odd shift in the earth makes Gai and I to pause as it makes a groaning sound.

"Earth Release: Double Suicide Decapitation technique!"

' _Five.'_

Gai's chakra is the one that shifts first, becoming mostly muted under the earth. A second later I feel Genma's hands wrap around my ankles and pull me downwards. The sensation is not pleasant, as if you were sinking on mud, but I didn't need to dwell on it because I could still do it.

' _Four.'_

Genma's chakra signature feels slightly weaker after he used a D-ranked jutsu twice, but it's more than enough for me to know exactly where he is and form a column directly under him. His chakra tenses instantly, but before he can jump out of the way the metal hits him.

' _Three.'_

I do the same with Gai, but he's out of Genma's hole before the column manages to hit him. Genma's chakra lands somewhere to my right, not exactly out of it but not entirely in it either. He has enough chakra to use a D-rank jutsu twice, or a C-rank one, but his chakra is already trying to compensate for his physical exhaustion. Gai's chakra wavers as I make no move to get out of the hole and I briefly wonder how big of a black bruise he's going to leave on my face.

' _Two.'_

I give him no time to think. Willing all the chakra I have left, I push two more columns his way, and he's forced back. Genma still manages to catch him with a surprise kick, taking advantage of his momentary distraction with the metal columns.

' _One.'_

My desperate and last effort creates two massive columns that rise from my sides, effectively killing two birds with one stone: getting me out of the hole before I run out of chakra and trying to catch the boys by surprise one last time. It only works halfway since it successfully gets my entire body above ground once again in an awkward way, leaving my exhausted body in a heap of tangled limbs. By the time the two iron columns reach the boys, I've already run out of chakra and the white metals crumble to nothing.

' _Holy hell. I'd forgotten how awful it feels like.'_

It's like my body's one heavy, goopy mass of tangled limbs and bones that don't have any support whatsoever. Chakra exhaustion is one thing; exhausting your body as well is something that most ninjas don't ever get to experience, because there is such a thing called stamina. Even if you empty your chakra reserves, you'll still have enough energy (read: food in their stomach) to make up for it and help on your recovery.

Me? I have none of that.

Fuck this shit. What good is a freaking Iron Release if I can't last five minutes in a battle?

' _Someone is a bitter little thing.'_

And the sad thing is: I  _am_ bitter. Even though I was born in circumstances that gave me quite a lot of privileges in this world, a big part of me still resents all the fuss about my yin and yang chakra, and then I feel bad because I shouldn't be bitter, I'm still a clan kid who knows nothing about anything, but then another part of me tells me it's okay to feel frustrated -

See? It's a vicious circle. Nine times out of ten I can handle it with meditation. When I can't, well…

It hasn't gotten so bad I haven't been able to handle it.

(Yet.)

"Youthful Chiyuki! Are you okay?" Suddenly my vision is full of a concerned Gai who is panting, but barely. A corner in my mind catalogs the input my eyes receive - _'he's got a few bruises but he's definitely the winner of this match. Genma and Choza are hovering somewhere to his left but I can't see them clearly. Genma has a sour look on his face but he'll get over the bruises.'_  - but exhaustion is a bit like anesthesia. I can't answer for myself like this.

"Huh." Is my rather eloquent answer. With the fog in my mind and the weight on my body, there's honestly nothing much I have the energy to say. My stomach chooses that moment to growl loudly, demanding food for the body that's trying to recover.

The next second, Choza-sensei fills my vision with wild hair and a big, proud smile. There's a curious glint in his eyes, but thankfully he doesn't say anything. Instead, he seems to sense that I won't be getting up anytime soon on my own and unceremoniously picks me up, holding me against his chest like a baby. My vision swims a bit with how quickly my point of view changes, but after a couple of lightheaded seconds I can see clearly once again.

Gai is peering up at me with big eyes full of worry, and I mentally slap myself. Not only am I feeling bad for worrying him like that, but I have no doubt I'll be hearing from Kakashi at some point during the next few days. Genma is standing off to the side, nursing his bruises and scowling vaguely in my direction.

' _Well, that was a great first impression, Sarutobi.'_

"I can see each of you has some interesting and unique abilities. As a team, I can see you'll complement each other well, children."

While he speaks, Choza-sensei sets me down under the shade of the same tree he'd been leaning on, rummaging through his pouch for a few moments before pulling a small brown bag with his clan's symbol. My two teammates approach us as well, but only Gai chooses to sit next to me. A brooding Genma that refuses to look any of us in the eye is a painful reminder that reality for anyone that's not in a clan is much, much harsher. Couple that with the fact that he quite frankly got his ass wiped by kids at least four years younger than him, well.

I can't exactly blame him for sulking.

"Here." Our sensei holds out a maple colored little ball that's very similar-looking to one of those soldier pills, only I'm almost certain they're an exclusive Akimichi recipe. "This will help you recover faster."

I try my best to not insult Choza, but soldier pills are famous for their awful taste, and our sensei barks out a laugh when he sees my expression.

"Don't worry about the taste. Go on."

' _Kinda like ripping off a band-aid.'_  I grab the pill from his hand and put it whole on my mouth, quickly chewing and swallowing before I can have second thoughts.

You know that feeling when you see something dubious looking in your fridge that's definitely been there a while but you think it'll probably be okay if you eat it, and the taste is in a limbo between dry and rotten and just-barely-edible. It's not the worst thing I've eaten but it's not the first thing I'd think of when I'm hungry. Either way it rapidly starts to do its trick as I can slowly but surely feel my energy returning.

"It tastes a lot better than usual soldier pills. Is it a family recipe, sensei?"

During the time it took for me to decide to eat the pill, Choza had managed to wrangle Genma to sit with us in a loose circle. The boy was clearly not in his element, but at least he'd stopped looking like he was about to stomp off.

"Why, it is, Chiyuki. I can't tell you how it's made, but if we'll use it as often as I think we will, I'll always have some ready." Our huge sensei winks at me and I feel my whole face getting red, hating the kind of attention my exhaustion brings.

' _I'm definitely hearing about this from three different people at the very least. Yay.'_

"Okay, sensei."

Belatedly, I forget I'm not wearing my usual hoodie and overalls combo, which means I can't hide under my clothes like I normally do. I feel my teammates' gaze burning curious holes through my skull, but I determinedly keep my gaze on an innocent looking rock in front of me.

' _Feel the wrath of my embarrassment, you stupid rock.'_

"Which leads us to the next step in our training slash team bonding time!"

All three of us turn to look at Choza curiously, and I can't help but feel impressed with how well-prepared he is to take care of a bunch of genin in the beginning of a shinobi war.

' _Well, it's not like Kakashi was ever any standard…'_

Sensei claps once with his big hands to make sure we're paying attention to him, and then he starts.

"Let's begin with you, Genma."

The battered boy sits up just a little straighter, a stubborn glint in his gaze as if daring our sensei to call him out on his loss. Choza sees that, the corners of his mouth quirking up in a little grin, but chooses not to comment on the twelve year old's defiant nature or insecurity hidden behind scowls. Rather, he gives the three of us a big, proud smile, as if he were already a proud father.

"I'm impressed by the skills you already possess. Managing a well-rounded set of ninjutsu, genjutsu and taijutsu is no small feat."I can almost see the way his imaginary hackles stand down, a red hue that reveals his embarrassment coloring his cheeks. "Your plan to cast a genjutsu at the beginning of the spar was a good one, but we'll have to work on how quickly you can do that."

Both Gai and I turn comical eyes to Choza-sensei, neither of us having noticed the genjutsu. Choza turns amused eyes to us and snorts, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I imagined you two didn't notice, given with how quick you were to use brute force… But seeing as you told me about your sensor skills, I'd have thought you'd have at least an inkling of it, Chiyuki."

Shame, horror, and embarrassment flame up from my chest to my face, making me feel hot and uncomfortable all at once. I feel bile rise up my throat and tears sting the back of my eyes, but I don't let either out. A sharp pain alerts me I'm fisting my hands so hard my nails are leaving marks on my palms, but the pain is grounding.

' _Now look where your arrogance took you. Figures they'd put you with a sensei who isn't afraid to call you out on your shit, Sarutobi.'_

I take a deep, shaky breath, willing my eyes to meet Choza's, but it's difficult. Being called out on something you said you could do only to make a fool out of yourself in front of your teammates is a whole new experience, one that leaves me feeling hot and cold at the same time. It's nothing like being scolded by my mother, or having my father's disappointed gaze directed at me - no, it's completely different. Being scolded by them doesn't leave me feeling mortified and ashamed, perhaps because-

-because you're a fucking clan kid, and everything is automatically made easier for you.

Choza-sensei's heavy hand falls on my head, and I peek up under my eyelashes at him.

' _Ah. I kinda miss my bangs now.'_

"That's not necessarily a bad thing, Chiyuki. You more than made up for it with your quick thinking and ninjutsu. Listen well, kids; you three are young and fresh out of the academy." A shadow passes on his face, but it's gone as quickly as it came. So people  _are_ aware of how young we are. "Your career as ninjas starts now, y'see. Together with your teammates, you'll grow exponentially - but the first step to growth is error."

As he says it, he sweeps his gaze over all of us, making sure we understand what he's trying to say.

"Failure is one's greatest teacher." I mumble, remembering how the Nidaime would write about his brother's Wood Release and how difficult it was at the beginning. Choza-sensei smiles warmly at me, ruffling my hair and no doubt messing up the hairstyle Aunt Hiroko had so neatly put together.

I didn't mind it in the least.

"That's right. If you get things right all the time, what're you gonna do when you make a mistake?"

I nod and he takes his hand off my head, grinning just a tad wider.

"Now, you have a very interesting chakra release, Chiyuki."

Even Genma's gaze turns curious and searching, but Gai is the only one who already knew about it and doesn't seem as surprised. All three males look, however, equal parts hesitant and interested. I turn back to my old habit of shrugging when words fail me, and my mind, unbidden, pictures my mother shaking her head at me.

"Ah, yes. My parents- the clan, they wanted to keep it under wraps for as long as possible." I curse myself for stuttering slightly, but sensei only nods thoughtfully. "We've figured out it's a mix of earth and fire chakra, but I can't use them separately."

"Like the Shodaime." Genma says, and I can't help but flinch. I always knew comparisons would be made but, well. It didn't mean I was prepared for them.

I hum and shrug again, idly picking at the grass.

"Ah, kind of. But my chakra - well, it doesn't work as it should. The seal on my forehead keeps it balanced, but it needs a lot of energy to keep that going, and because of that my stamina is… poor, to put it lightly."

There. Now it's out there in the open for my whole team to see and judge and -

"That is awful, Youthful Chiyuki!" I turn and I swear Gai has tears on his eyes. Genma actually looks kind of… relieved? And sensei is just nodding, as if he knew that all along - which, hell, he might. It's unlikely they dumped the Hokage's troublesome daughter without giving him a heads up.

"Oh, you're actually human like the rest of us." Our oldest teammate blurts out and immediately turns red, as if he can't believe he said that out loud.

' _So that's why he looked relieved.'_

"I-I mean, don't get me wrong kid-" Genma's speech is interrupted by Choza's booming laugh, which actually makes a few birds fly from the trees.

"Yes, you're quite the interesting bunch. We'll get to that in a minute Genma, I just need to tell Gai here about his performance."

The boy next to me sits impossibly straight, a hint of pride in his eyes. It's obvious he's proud of himself for managing on his own against two opponents using only taijutsu; such a thing has never happened before, and even if I didn't know Gai would become one of the best ninja Konoha ever had, I'd know he had a lot of potential.

"I see you're well on your way to becoming a taijutsu master, Gai. Your speed and stamina are way above average, and I know you've been training with weights on since the beginning of the academy."

Gai nearly puffs out his chest, glowing as if he'd received the highest praise from the daimyo himself. Choza-sensei, however, cuts that tree down before it can grow.

"However, leaning solely on taijutsu against opponents that are on your level is okay, but it won't work against stronger ones. If Chiyuki hadn't interrupted Genma and the genjutsu had been cast, would you have been able to detect it and dispel it?"

Like a withering flower, poor Gai frowns and lowers his head, thoughtfully chewing on his lower lip. Sensei ruffles his hair too, making a good show of pointing out our flaws but encouraging us at the same time.

' _Huh. I wonder if the other teams got lucky like this. I know Kakashi's sensei is a good one, but I'm worried about Asuma…'_

"It doesn't mean you don't have superb skills - all three of you. We can definitely work around that with individual training schedules for each of you as well as team training and missions." Everyone's ears perk up at that, and I once again admire Choza for how seriously he's taking this. "We have a couple of days to get to know each other and set up a schedule that works for everyone before the missions start, though. Don't get too excited yet, children!"

He laughs again, but it's a warm sound that brings a smile to my lips. I look at the boys and see the same expression in them.

"Right! So let's work like this: we'll take missions 6 out of 7 days a week, and that leaves one day off for you to rest." Gai is about to say something, no doubt about how the Burning Passion of Youth makes rest unnecessary for us, but sensei stops him with a shake of his head. "This is something I'll not give up on. Your bodies are still growing and developing and training too much might hinder that process. You three  _will_ take a day off every week, is that clear?"

He's still smiling, but there's clearly the looming threat of the 'or else' behind his easygoing grin. Even though the concept of resting is just as foreign to me as it is for Gai, I nod my head furiously along with the boys. No one wants to get on the receiving side of an Akimichi's wrath.

"Excellent! Where was I? Ah, right. I'll go over individual skills once a week for each, so that leaves three days in which we'll train as a team. Your individual training will be both to hone your skills so you can fight by yourself if needed be and also to work better and better in a team. Missions will take place in the mornings and training will be in the afternoon. Any questions?"

We shake our heads and I can't help but be impressed once again. It's clear he put a lot of thought into this, and I wonder if Asuma's team has a hardworking sensei like ours.

Choza-sensei claps his hands one final time, giving us a bright smile and sending us off on our merry way, briefly telling us to meet in front of the Academy tomorrow at 7 am sharp.

As I head home, I look up and see the sky changing colors, bright blue giving way to a beautiful mix of orange, dark blue and pink. The sight reminds me that nothing in nature blooms all year, and a new sense of determination and strength surges over me. Yeah, I had royally embarrassed myself today, and yes, we are in the middle of a war in a time when many things can go wrong if I don't tread carefully, but having Choza as sensei and strong teammates like Gai and Genma were all things in my favor. My stamina wouldn't be poor forever, and I'm sure sensei is already thinking of carrying more Akimichi soldier pills around for my sake.

' _I wonder if it wouldn't be easier if I just stored fat like the Akimichis. That isn't exactly a clan technique, is it?'_

As my thoughts once again jump from one place to another, I can't help but smile excitedly.

' _You're gonna rock this, Sarutobi.'_

* * *

"You fainted during team practice today?" I groan internally, counting until 10 in my head and taking a deep breath before I face Kakashi's neutral expression. He's trying hard to appear calm and nonchalant, but it's the forced casualty of his voice and the way he's making an effort to keep his body relaxed tell me he's angrier than he's letting on.

"Did you show up just to yell at me? Please don't." I deadpan, not in the mood for one of his crisis. Kakashi is my best friend and a sweetheart under all those layers, but I couldn't deny that sometimes he was nothing short of overbearing. His left eye twitches, but otherwise keeps his neutral façade as Tooru chooses that exact moment to tumble out in the porch, where Asuma and I were peacefully playing shogi.

"You did what?!" Asuma grumbles at how noisy it's gotten and I agree with him in my head. He'd given me a judging look and a sigh when I told him what happened, but aside from that he hadn't made a fuss over it - and that was one of the reasons why Asuma had won my heart before anyone else. He knew how reckless I could be sometimes, but he also knew that the people around me would never let anything happen. More than that, though, Asuma always trusted me to know better, which I hugely appreciate.

"I didn't  _faint_." I grumble, taking advantage of the fact that my parents were having a clan meeting and couldn't tell me to behave or speak properly.

"Gai said you did." This time I groan loudly and throw myself at Asuma's lap, shogi game obviously over. I feel his warm hand rest over my back, already imagining the small frown he has on his face.

"I thought you knew better than to not take anything Gai says with a grain of salt." Asuma deadpans over my head and I smother a smile against his shirt. I can nearly  _feel_ Kakashi's eye roll, his chakra rolling uneasily like Tooru's.

"That's right, tell them Asuma-nii." Said brother huffs out a laugh but keeps silent otherwise, apparently having said his piece. I twist on his lap and he shifts to accommodate the new position, which allows me to look at Tooru and Kakashi properly. "Choza-sensei wanted us to go all out so he could get a feel on what we could do, and that's what I did. I know my limits."

Tooru looks like he's about to say something but then thinks better of it and sits down in front of us with a dramatic sigh. Kakashi hasn't bothered to keep up his calm mask; he know looks like he's about to hit me, but I merely raise my eyebrows challengingly at him. A few heartbeats pass and he drops his gaze, sighing deeply.

"Let's talk about you guys. What kind of people are in your team?" That led to a whole argument regarding who had the worst team, but I thought we all could have done much worse.

"I got Obito on my team." Kakashi all but grumbles, crossing his arms and looking like the pouty seven year old he is. Asuma and I snort at the same time, ignoring Tooru's mumbles of 'what are you? twins?'.

"Yeah, but I know you also got Rin, which yay."

"How do you - no. I don't want to know that."

I muffle another snort against Asuma's shirt, enjoying the way Kakashi's eyes almost roll out of his head. My middle brother shrugs lightly, the motion making my head move up and down.

"I can't complain much, I guess. I got Kurenai and another guy named Ebisu on my team. He's average and kind of weird, but it could be worse."

" _And_  you got Kurenai, which also yay."

"You got Genma on yours." Tooru's voice pipes up from his spot on my left, legs crossed so his left one is dangling off the porch. Absentmindedly, he's poking Kakashi to see if he can get a rise out of the boy. It's a game they played all the time when the silver-haired boy still lived with us: if the genius loses his patience, he loses; if Tooru gets bored, he loses.

"Yeah." I say, not really getting where Tooru was going with that. Genma is a year younger than Tooru, so I imagine the two must have crossed paths at some point during their academy days. My oldest brother shrugs, poking Kakashi with more speed. "What about him?"

"Just keep your eyes open. Let's just say he doesn't like clan kids much." I feel Asuma stiffen slightly under me, and even Kakashi tears his attention away from Tooru's fingers to me.

"Who does?" I ask, baffled that they had taken offence at that. Our clan might be one of the most chill ones, but we were still clan kids and we were raised as such. A lot of other kids didn't like that.

Tooru shakes his head, finally stopping bothering Kakashi and looking at me with an unusually serious face.

"It's not like that, peanut. It's-"

"Regardless of how he feels about Chiyuki, he'll have to at least maintain a cordial relationship with her and protect her since they're teammates. Their sensei wouldn't accept anything less." Kakashi's cool voice interrupts Tooru, although my brother doesn't look bothered by it. He and Kakashi stare at each other for a couple of seconds, him resigned and my friend defiant.

I sense a story behind it, but I don't want to pry into it right now.

"Hey, if push comes to shove, I'll still have Gai as my ninja in shining kunai." I say lightly, trying to lift the mood - and I'm immensely grateful when it works. Both Kakashi and Gai snort incredulously, and soon we're all back to gossiping about Kakashi's teacher, who's supposed to be a candidate for Yondaime Hokage.

In my mind, I make a few mental notes after this mentally exhausting conversation and enjoy the rest of the evening with my most precious boys.

* * *

"Good morning, children!" Choza-sensei's voice is extra loud in the quiet hours of the morning, and I try my hardest from flinching. "Are you excited for your first mission?"

Gai booms out a yes, looking just as excited as our sensei. Genma looks half-sleepy and half-interested in the prospect of a mission, but I'd seen Sasakibe-oji working enough times to know that the missions genin got were far from glamorous.

"Very well, then off we go! Until we arrive at our destination, I'll explain how your missions will work, so pay attention and wake up, mhmm?" That gets Genma a little more awake as we start heading west, looking like three ducklings as we follow Choza's big figure.

At this time of the day, the sun isn't too bright or too hot, and a refreshing breeze ruffles my hair gently. In the distance, I can vaguely hear shopkeepers getting their products ready, children going to school, merchants coming and going. It's a small comfort to know that people are still going on with their lives even if the war was announced barely a couple of days ago.

"As you learned in the academy, Konoha is the biggest shinobi village in all the elemental nations. To make sure the system works as it should, the village has nine main departments to help with that. Chiyuki?"

"Administration, Intelligence, Cryptography, Medical Corps, the Military Police Force, the Outposts, Strategy, Tracking, and the village's main force, made of Genin, Chunin and Jounin Corps." I list smoothly without thinking too much about it, the information quickly accessible given who my father is. I don't dare mention ANBU, because that's still something not even I am supposed to know about.

Sensei nods, a small smile on his face. "That's right. All these nine sectors work as one to keep our village strong and healthy, similar to a human body. Therefore, it's essential we learn how each of them works, mhm?"

_'Wait a minute.'_

Team 7 had done nothing of the sort. Neither had teams 8 or 9, or any of the canon Naruto teams. My memory of particular cases was foggy, but I was absolutely certain none of this happened. Why this? Why now?

_'No, this isn't for my own sake - at least, not directly. I'd see how each of the departments work sooner or later, this isn't about possible hokage candidates. There are nine genin teams who graduated this year, and if we're all doing this sort of rotation, it means they want everyone to have a basic grasp of how everything works. But why?'_

Choza-sensei continues to chatter on about how each team will rotate between a few weeks in every department, but I can't focus on it.

' _They need us to know a little bit of everything. I've never seen this before. It's not like everyone's going to drop dead-'_

We all stop in front of a big, gray building just as my thoughts come to their final conclusion.

' _They're doing this because people_ _will_ _drop dead. We're at war. They're expecting so many casualties they'll need genin to fill up the village's ranks.'_

"Welcome, children, to your first day of D-ranks at the Intelligence Division!"

I'm not sure if it's the sudden realization that Konoha's not as well prepared as I thought it was or the heavy atmosphere the building has, sucking my energy and making my head spin, but the first thing I do is throw up in front of the gates.

* * *

 

 **Question:** if you were a shinobi, what would be your specialty?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wouldn't say that things are going to more more slowly from now on, because they aren't. It's just that the chapters will be longer so I can fit everything I want to. (maybe I'll have to separate this into two different chapters. Or more. Please bear with me.)
> 
> Also, everyone will start to develop their characters more from this chapter onwards. We saw the first of Chiyuki's many breakdowns, and although she might seem like a bit of a drama queen at times (she is), all these things are important for her to learn.


	10. Third Section - Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What can I say, she eventually grows on you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to thank notsofrilly @ ff.net profusely for ending my dilemma with Chiyuki's ninjutsu! As kindly pointed out, her jutsu isn't to alter magnetic field; she's literally a metalbender. You'll see her struggle a little more with her stamina before I introduce notsofrilly's wonderful idea.
> 
> Extra info: Chiyuki's voice has a silvery tone, in case anyone is interested. She'll speak more confidently as the years go by as well.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

* * *

**Becoming a Hokage 101**

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Section Three

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Chapter Nine

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Work at the Intelligence Division is actually quite boring.

Contrary to popular belief, a lot goes on besides interrogation: there're many small departments here dedicated to info gathering (read: stealing), espionage, analysis and, on some cases, autopsy. It all requires much more paperwork than actual work, and for that I would be eternally grateful.

Because of the amount of information that circulates 24/7 here, there's always a team from Archives, from Administration, to help. It's also where we were sent to first, as it was repetitive and boring work, so of course they'd send the genin to do that. Gai got restless after the first day but was determined to do his best, which I admire greatly, but Genma didn't mind it and neither did I. After a week of doing nothing but filling up papers and learning to control my senses so they didn't go haywire, I was actually grateful for spending a great part of the morning cooped up in a backroom with only the three of us.

It meant that I wouldn't hear people whispering, and I was completely okay with it.

Perhaps I blamed my parents and my clan for keeping the Iron Release a secret for such a long time, but it was something that was going to blow up on my face sooner or later.

Thing is, after that spar a week ago, my Iron Release had stopped being a secret, becoming instead something that people wildly speculated about and whispered to each other when they thought I was out of earshot. I never was, but I also didn't have the energy to confront them.

People said all sorts of things, some of which were just plain ridiculous, like that one theory about me being the offspring of an unknown ninja from the Land of Iron. The one that went around the most, though, was the comparison with the Shodaime, or perhaps the one that said I was gifted with something that happens only once every hundred years.

"D'you think she might be related to the Senju?"

"Her teammates don't stand a chance next to someone like that. I feel bad for them."

"Man, clan kids sure are lucky. They don't have to work hard for anything."

"How nice. I wish I had something cool like that."

"Figures the genius princess would have something like that under her sleeve. What else is she gonna do now? Become a hero and end the war?"

Sometimes, it was easy to ignore. I'd grown up hearing people talk about me, so tuning it out had become second nature after a couple of years. Sometimes, though…

Sometimes, it mixes with people's feelings and chakra - their very own energy. Sometimes, my sensor abilities were a curse I wish I hadn't spent time honing. Sometimes, no matter how quietly they whisper to each other, their chakra carries it out and suffocates me, wrapping around my neck like a vicious snake that's determined to witness my dying breath.

' _I just want it to stop.'_

"Chiyuki, are you done?" Genma's voice sounds tenser than it had been last week, and I just add it to another issue this whole Iron Release thing has brought. After the spar it had looked like he was willing to warm up to me, but after people started whispering around us, well. It went from bad to worse, and I just didn't have the energy to do anything about it.

' _I'm so tired.'_

"Yes." I say, handing him my finished work so he can put it in the correct drawer. Sitting next to me, Gai is stamping records as if his life depended on it, but I was immensely grateful for his presence and unique personality.

If Genma saw the whispers as a reason to be even more bitter, Gai saw it as incentive to get better and show everyone what he could do with taijutsu alone despite being placed in a team with that weird genius kid they have to call princess.

' _I'm not a genius, and I'm not a princess. I'm not anything special. I didn't even want this.'_

"Hey, isn't kind of a shame to keep the princess locked up in the archives? She's a genius, isn't she? Why don't they give her better things to do?"

"Why, are you willing to do that for her?"

"Of course not, don't be stupid."

"Why did you ask, then? And it's obviously because of her teammates, isn't it? If she'd been alone, I'm sure they'd be making her take the chunin exams this year."

The temperature in the room drops dramatically after the two people talking pass by, but the damage's been done. Genma looks ready to spring up and punch someone, most likely me, and Gai just looks lost, like he doesn't know what to do.

' _How does that song go again? Wake me up when the month ends?'_

The two voices stop abruptly, even though they were still within hearing range. Belatedly, I realize Choza-sensei's chakra swirling in a way I'd never sensed before, coiled up and tense. He probably heard the whole thing.

Whispers are traded and a threat is most likely made, but I can't bring myself to care enough. A voice in my head warns me that this is not okay, that not feeling anything is not okay, but before I can pay attention to it, Choza opens the door to the room, smiling in a surprisingly gentle way. Further than they'd been before, I can vaguely sense two chakras stutter and swirl rigidly.

"Mission's over, children! Go home, eat lunch and don't forget to review the notes I gave you. Tomorrow we'll work on our formation again, but today Chiyuki's mine. Get going, chop chop!" It's nearly impossible to not get moving with how much energy sensei has. Everything he does and says has some kind of will underneath it, as if he's not so gently coaxing you to get up and  _do_ things.

Genma doesn't even look at me as he leaves, but Gai gives me a bright smile and a thumbs up, and I can't help but give him a small one in return.

' _Thank you, Gai.'_

A warm hand falls on my shoulder, and I look up to see Choza smiling down at me, his chakra swirling in a way I'd sensed Kakashi's and Tooru's to swirl similarly many times before. He's pissed off but determined to not let it show in front of me, and a surge of affection warms my chest.

' _I wonder if it was the first time he heard it. Or if it was just the first time he didn't have time to calm down.'_

"I brought a nice bento today. Why don't we find some shade to eat under?"

I nod, letting a tiny smile show on my face. Sensei leads the way to a small clearing that dubs as a training field that no one really uses, where the Hashirama trees hide away a big portion of the midday sun, so the temperature is nice and comfortable. We sit on a fallen log that's been obviously put there for that purpose, and sensei wastes no time in opening two bentos; a huge one for him and a slightly smaller one for me. They're colorful and well-arranged and I can nearly feel the love with which they were made. It's clear the smaller one was made specifically for me, and not just something that was ready and that he just grabbed on the way out; it's full of proteins and whole grains, things that fill you up for a long time without leaving you stuffed, as well a nice selection of fresh fruit for dessert and a bottle of steaming green tea.

"Did you make this, sensei?" He glances at me and I can see his bento looks completely different from mine, with much more carbs and veggies in it.

"Yep! The taste might not be as good as my wife's, though."

Tears sting the back of my eyes for a moment, and I stubbornly blink them back. He's known me for a week, and he already knows what kind of food is best for me, what are my favorites are and how technically I'm still a kid - the sausages are shaped like octopuses, the rice has a panda shape, the fish is cooked and cut so that I don't have to worry about stray bones, the meat's sauce has sprinkles on it -

' _How long ago did they decide that I was too old for this? When was the last time I ate something other than perfectly balanced meals made for the hokage's children?'_

"It looks delicious, sensei. Thank you." I manage to whisper, praying that he doesn't notice how close to crying I am. I feel his big hand fall on my head, his cheerful voice following soon after.

"Don't thank me just yet! Thank me after you've managed to eat everything without making a face!"

' _Choza-sensei is extremely humble.'_ I think as I take the first bite and relish in the food's softness and texture, how everything was carefully made so that the rice didn't get soggy next to the fish or how there was a separate container for the fruit.

We eat in a comfortable silence, hearing the leaves rustle and the birds chirp occasionally. It's the most content I've felt in days.

"Y'know, I talked to Shikaku about your ninjutsu and we've managed to come up with a pretty neat solution, if I do say so myself." He speaks after we've both eaten, the containers emptied of all food.

"Nara-sama?"

Sensei snorts loudly, almost spilling his tea. The scene is so comical I let out a snort too, and he looks at me with pure amusement in his eyes.

"Please let me be there when you call him that. But yes, Nara Shikaku. He told me about a mission he led a few years ago, when he encountered a pretty interesting shinobi." I lean in unconsciously, always eager for a good story. The fact that it was  _Nara Shikaku_  who helped sensei and that he was willing to share parts of a mission was too good to pass. "It was supposed to be a simple mission, but a couple of rogue nin showed up with a technique no one had seen before. It was lucky they had an Uchiha on their team."

As he says that, I feel another chakra signature approaching us. It's unfamiliar and alternates between swirling stiffly and smoothly, as if the person is trying hard at… something. Choza-sensei has nothing short of a cat's grin ( _'I'm pretty sure there was a purple cat who smiled like that. What was its name again?'_ ) as the person reveals themselves.

The middle aged man is clearly an Uchiha, not only because of the clan's symbol on the sleeve, but also because of his body language.

The way he held himself spoke of confidence and experience, but as a ninja, he knew to be aware at all times. The shinobi has all the typical features the Uchiha do: dark hair and dark eyes, face set in a permanent poker face and dark clothes that are light and practical.

He was also the first Uchiha I remember coming into contact with.

See, I knew I'd met the current clan head when I was a baby, but with the pain and the hunger and the memories I gather as I grow up, it was impossible to remember who he'd been. Yet, I'd listened to my father talking about clans enough for me to be able to immediately recognize each one - and, most importantly, how to treat their members.

The man gives a respectful if slightly reluctant nod to Choza-sensei, and my curiosity immediately increases tenfold.

My sensei, for his part, only grins wider and stands up, an action I immediately copy.

"Uchiha-san, thank you for coming."

"...it's nothing."

His voice is nearly emotionless and his words are direct, although his tone isn't unkind. He looks like he'd rather be anywhere else, but he's clearly trying to relax and keep his posture non-threatening. His eyes flicker to me at the same time sensei's hand falls on my head once again, and that's my cue to introduce myself.

' _First impressions are everything, Chiyuki.'_  I hear my mother's voice chid me in my head, but Choza's real voice easily overpowers it.

"This one here is one of my cute little students!"

I make eye contact with the Uchiha, whose first name I still don't know. I don't have to try to make my body relax because sensei's hand is still a warm weight on my head, and I know that there's nothing that can touch me as long as he's here, both physically and emotionally.

' _It's just an introduction. Chill. You got this.'_

"Hello, Uchiha-san. My name is Sarutobi Chiyuki, it is a pleasure to meet you." I bow exactly like mother had told me to when meeting Uchiha and Hyuga clan members - nothing more and nothing less. When we make eye contact again, there's a calculating look in his eyes, but the rest of his face is carefully blank. A few heartbeats pass, and I remain calm, letting my curious respect seep through. Whether he finds what he's looking for or not, he finally nods respectfully.

"Mamoru is fine. There are far too many Uchiha around."

I nod, not really knowing what to say to that, but thankfully sensei's bright personality prevents the situation from getting too awkward.

"Remember the Uchiha who was on Shikaku's team? It was lucky he was around, else the team might not have been around to tell the story."

If the man was any less of an Uchiha, he would've rolled his eyes with how exasperated he suddenly seemed, but held himself back.

"You give me too much credit, Akimichi-san. As told by yourself, Nara Shikaku was leading the team."

"Just Choza, please! Akimichi-san is my father!"

It's difficult to not feel at ease with sensei's easygoing attitude as even Mamoru relaxed slightly, but he still looked like he wanted to get it over with.

"Then, Choza-san. Shikaku-taicho mentioned you wanted to talk to me."

Going directly to the point didn't make sensei's grin falter; on the contrary, it stayed perfectly in place, though it morphed into a smile when he turned his eyes to me.

"Chiyuki here has an interesting chakra release that might benefit from that ninja's technique. Would you show it to her?"

The Uchiha nods once, activating his sharingan and letting the memory come to life. Neither men mentions the rumors going on about the Iron Release, and that makes me breathe just a tad easier.

"The rogue ninja had an unusual way of handling his earth release. His chakra reserves were average at best, and I imagine he had to get creative. Pay attention to his stance and how he molds his chakra."

Choza-sensei says lowly to me, both of us focusing on the man that steps further away.

All of a sudden, his body suddenly goes slack, as if his bones turned to jelly. The stance, however, is deceptively relaxed, and I see it for what it is.

"It's not a specific stance or anything like that. He's just…"

"-purposefully relaxing his limbs just enough to give unlimited freedom to his movements, yes."

Mamoru raises his leg in what might have been a kick, but before he can do it a ball of earth the size of his head  _pops up_  from the earth beneath him and stops just before his foot, and only then does he kick the ball of earth into a nearby tree. It hits its target and the tree explodes in chunks of earth and wood.

Something in my head tingles.

' _This… is not entirely unfamiliar. I've seen something like this Before. Maybe.'_

As if merely continuing a dance, the man lowers his leg and twists, raising his arm and aiming another earth ball at an innocent tree. It suffers the same fate, and on the ground there are now two perfect holes in a round shape near him.

"The movements are incredibly smooth. It's like a dance."

I can't help but let the awe and the curiosity in my tone of voice. It really had looked like a dance, with smooth and light movements that didn't even look like fighting. I could tell that aside from the chakra he used to mold the earth, not much had been spent, and suddenly everything clicks at once.

I turn excitedly to my sensei, gratitude and wonder and sheer happiness making my cheeks hurt from smiling so wide. I receive one just as wide in return.

.

* * *

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Before I know it, another two weeks go by without incidents, and our time at the Intelligence Division is over. Nothing particularly exciting had happened aside from a chunin teaching us 'pretty standard interrogation techniques' which basically consisted of minor genjutsu and unleashing spurts of killing intent, but thankfully no one had shown us any sort of torture method.

"You're doing well, children! People from T&I have handed in reports with no complaints regarding the three of you, aside from that one time Gai destroyed the wall."

As always, sensei said things with a positive attitude and just the right amount between chastisement and amusement. Gai, to his credit, actually gets red in the ears and starts to defend himself.

"Forgive me, sensei! I saw the spider near Youthful Chiyuki's head and did not think twice about the consequences of my actions! For that, I shall run 300 laps around Konoha!"

Choza-sensei comically grabs Gai by the back of his green suit before he can run off, and Genma and I share a look and snorts.

Genma is… well. A rollercoaster, putting it kindly.

As soon as people stopped talking about it and with my self-esteem back at healthy levels, I dare say things are better between us. Not exactly good, no, because there's still a glint of something in his eyes whenever he looks at me, but so long as people don't compare us, there's a mutual respect.

' _You gotta remind yourself Genma is 12, which means hormones. He's prone to mood swings, so try to be patient.'_

As all rumours are wont to do, speculations about my chakra release died out a few days ago. No one speaks a word of it anymore, whether I'm within hearing range or not. The oddest thing, though, is that it died out not in the way gossip does, but in a sudden hush. I suspect Kakashi had something to do with it, seen as chunin went out of their way to avoid his eyes overnight, but well. We haven't been seeing much of each other and both of us have been busy with missions and training. I haven't had a chance to actually talk about it.

"Good work on today's mission, team!"

"We just painted a building, sensei."

"An  _Intelligence_ building."

"We painted it most youthfully!"

Our team dynamic is much better too. Perhaps that's something that comes with spending so much time together, but learning each other's quirks and managing it alongside our own gives me a belonging feeling. It's been three weeks, but these three know the real Chiyuki better than many of the Sarutobi clansmen.

"Right! Genma, today you're with me. Gai, remember to work on the pointers I gave you. Chiyuki, you know where to go after this, mhm?"

I nod with a smile, my body nearly humming with the desire to show off and impress and say 'look, look! I did it!'. A couple of years ago I'd be yearning to please my mother. No longer.

' _Although old habits die hard, I suppose.'_

After a quick stop at Yukari's place for lunch, I walk leisurely to the address I have long memorized. It's only the third time going there, but sometimes I can't help but be amazed at how  _quick_ my brain processes things.

The scenery gradually changes. From the training grounds on the outskirts of the village, I walk towards the central part, where the most important buildings are - the academy, the hokage's tower, and the hospital. Right after I pass through this part I reach the main market street, where most of the shops are located and admittedly the busiest part of Konoha by far. Idly, I watch as the buildings gradually change once again, and apartments and houses of all kinds and shapes give shelter to shinobi who live alone and small civilian families.

This part of the village is not exactly pretty but it's highly functional, with small but old shops here and there selling groceries and weapons. Although there are many ninjas who live in the apartments, Aunt had once told me that civilians would rather live here than on the other side of town - where most of the clan compounds are.

I reach my destination soon enough. The apartment is nondescript and looks exactly the same as the others on the same building, but excitement makes it stand out in my eyes somehow. I flare my chakra twice, not daring to touch the door in case there are traps, and not two seconds later the door opens to reveal Mamoru. I nod my head respectfully immediately.

"Good afternoon, Mamoru-san." I say, a bright and eager smile on my face. From inside the apartment the soothing scent of green tea wafts through and reaches my nose, and my smile widens just a tad more.

' _Ah, so he was expecting me. Maybe Choza-sensei mentioned it to him.'_

The middle-aged Uchiha nods back at me, stepping back and letting me in. "Chiyuki-hime."

I wrinkle my nose at the title but say nothing. The shinobi keeps his blank mask on but there's mirth in his eyes. He knows just how uncomfortable this whole  _hime_ thing makes me.

Inside his small apartment the scent of high quality tea is stronger, and the comforting smell relaxes me further. He motions to the chair in the tiny kitchen, putting a plate with some biscuits towards me.

"Tea?"

"Yes, please."

The silence is comfortable. Both of us know exactly why I showed up, but there's no rush to get things over and done with. Besides, neither of us like small talk.

After the tea has cooled down enough to drink and my cup is half full, I choose to break the silence.

"Mamoru-san, I want to be hokage."

It's the first thing I blurt out, but strangely enough I don't regret it. Although the Uchiha hasn't gone out of his way to be kind to me, he still has taken the time to teach me honestly and patiently. His eventual pointers were key to the new style I developed, and something in me wanted to be honest with him. It's not something I can explain, it's just… a gut feeling. Something that tells me he's good and reliable behind the cold Uchiha façade.

Mamoru-san merely blinks and sips more of his tea, but he doesn't look surprised. It's not a secret and he's probably heard someone talking about it, but I still wanted to tell him personally for reasons I can't quite figure out.

He spends a few seconds sipping his tea and letting the moment drag on, and only when it starts to become awkward does he answer.

"Aa."

"You don't sound surprised."

"I'm not."

"Did you know?"

"People talk about it every once in a while."

Another long moment goes by, but this time neither of us is sipping tea. I'm looking into endless dark pools at the same time he seems to be looking for something, just like the day we first met. This time, however, he nods and resumes drinking his tea. Curiosity is a little worm nearly eating me from the inside, but I refrain from saying anything and grab a biscuit to munch on.

I'm halfway done with my second biscuit when the Uchiha finally speaks his mind.

"You're different."

"Pardon?" He spends a moment regarding me with cool dark eyes, but there's a hint of something warm in them.

It's the first time I see something like this coming from him, and the feeling both excites and scares me.

"On that day two weeks ago I met the youngest daughter of our Hokage. She was prim and proper, but there was no energy behind her movements. I agreed to help her, mostly because it was a favor I owned Shikaku."

I reach forward in my chair, tea and food forgotten in front of me. There was no reason to feel offended by his words because they were all true - I'd been on the verge of depression, and he'd seen me at my worst.

"I gave her a seed, not expecting her to do much with it. Turns out she didn't."

I know better than to interrupt, although I'm itching to defend myself and tell him all I've managed to do with that technique he'd shown me once. Mamoru-san continues as if unaware.

"The one who took that seed and planted it on fertile soil was Chiyuki, an ambitious and determined young girl who aims to one day be hokage. Today, I see no trace of the girl from that day."

' _Don't cry. Don't cry. Do not cry Chiyuki or I'll put a kunai through your thigh just to have an excuse to leave.'_

"I believe that if it's the Chiyuki I'm looking at, then she'll be a fine hokage."

My throat feels dry, nevermind the tea I just drank.

Uchiha Mamoru-san is an adult. Not a genin adult, or an ANBU adult - those aren't even proper adults. No, he's an honest to God, full-fledged adult who's seem more than his fair share in life and knows things aren't just black and white. He comes from a strict clan who demands nothing but perfection from each and every one of its members. He doesn't care whether I've got the connections to be hokage or not.

He's also telling me he _believes_  in me. I can only think of another one like him who also told me-

' _Sakumo-oji.'_

"Sometimes I get lost." I manage to croak out, emotions overwhelming me one after the other.

"Don't lose sight of who you are and what you fight for." He says, not missing a beat. He's straightforward but not unkind, a calm energy swirling within him and seeping through his chakra.

"I don't want to be recognized solely by the clan's name."

"I said who you are, not what you are."

"...I just want to be worthy. To right wrongs and make things better. To walk alongside the villagers and work to see Konoha prosper."

"If you keep those goals in mind, you'll be a hokage I'm looking forward to following."

"I don't want people to  _follow_ me. I want people to walk  _next_ to me."

Then, he smiles. It's small and barely an uplifting of the lips, but it's sincere and immediately makes him look younger. Mamoru-san looks oddly proud and I feel in the clouds.

"Then I'm looking forward to walking next to you, Chiyuki."

.

* * *

.

"Did you enjoy your last day of freedom, children? Tomorrow we go back to missions and we'll also have another free-for-all spar, this time with the things you've learned so far. I've been keeping a close track of your progress, so stay sharp!"

"Yes, sensei." All three children answer him the same thing with varying degrees of excitement. Gai is nearly vibrating next to me, eager to go off on his individual training with Choza. Honestly, sensei had given all three of us a practical chart with our abilities and weaknesses, things we needed to focus on and small milestones we had to achieve by the next individual training.

I don't remember seeing anything like this in canon, but then again there was a lot going on that wasn't shown. Besides, the jounin sensei we saw most often was Kakashi, and he didn't exactly receive the 'teacher of the year' prize.

It was personalized according to each of our objectives and our progress rate. I knew Gai had milestones related to taijutsu but other skills as well, so that he indeed became a taijutsu master but had other things to rely on should the need arise. My own chart had a variety of things, from meditation time to stretching and speed and hours of reading, and the milestones varied each time; during the first week, my milestone was to not become sick everytime I entered the T&I building, which is harder than it sounds. The next week, I needed to last at least ten minutes using my new ninjutsu style, and surprisingly enough that wasn't very difficult. This week, I was told to read all kinds of basic ninjutsu and chakra manipulation scrolls, which, yeah, helped a lot. I also have a personal milestone this third week, although it doesn't depend solely on me.

"Chiyuki, Genma, I want you to work on the notes I wrote on your charts. Genma, make sure you work on that genjutsu; Chiyuki, read up on that scroll I gave you."

"Yes, sensei."

Then Choza gives us all a bright and proud smile, and in a flash he disappears with a most willing Gai. Genma has barely said his goodbyes when I determinedly call out to him before he can go off on his own.

"Genma."

The teenage boy turns around almost grudgingly, nearly every muscle in his body urging him to ignore any unnecessary contact with me. The senbon in his mouth moves agitatedly, but I refuse to back out. I need to do this.

" _When you get lost, look to your team. Trust them with your life._ _More often than not, it'll be in their hands, so make sure you're in good terms with them. If you can't do that and talk things out, how will you lead hundreds of people with different circumstances?"_

Mamoru-san's advice flashes in bright colors in my head, making me feel embarrassed and frustrated that I let the white elephant stand in the living room for so long, unaddressed.

"Will you please spar with me? I don't have a lot of experience against people bigger than me."

I can see something skid to a stop on his brain, and I suspect I caught him completely off guard. I remain calm and relaxed, my expression open and curious. I did want to spar with Genma, but I also wanted him to quite literally beat whatever grudge he had on me and hopefully make up.

He only hesitates for a brief second before he shrugs casually, turning back around and searching my face.

"Sure. Taijutsu only?"

"Yes, please. No weapons. I really need to work on my hand-to-hand combat skills."

Perhaps it's the way I speak so casually of my flaws, or the honest humility he sees. Either way, his walls slowly but surely crumble before my eyes, and I cheer mentally.

_'I'll make you my friend yet, Genma.'_

We move to a small training ground not far from the academy. It's not very used because of the small space, but for a taijutsu spar between genins it's more than enough.

Standing across from each other with a good three meters between us, I see Genma put away the senbon he'd been chewing on, getting into a stance that had much more of Choza-sensei than the academy style. I can already tell he's improved a lot since we were put into teams.

Two tense seconds pass, and during the next he's practically flying at me with all the lethality of someone who went through all five years of the academy and has much more experience than I do. His strikes are fast and objective and he doesn't really let me recover or think; I just barely have time to defend myself, my stamina already dropping.

He feints a punch only to purposely miss and crouch so he can kick me in the knee. I grunt, trying to ignore the pain for the moment and headbutting him in an unexpected move for the both of us.

_'...well. It worked, at least.'_

I take advantage of his pause to switch to the offensive, making sure my strikes are quick but efficient, using my flexibility to its fullest. Genma blocks my outstretched palm and twists my arm backwards painfully, but I manage a kick to his own knee and he lets me go. I sidestep out of his reach before he can recover and reappear above his head, twisting my legs around his neck only for him to grab me with surprising strength and throw me off him.

_'I need to end this before I start getting tired. Stamina doesn't grow in trees.'_

I sprint off towards him, twisting out of his reach and striking him with the tips of my fingers, palms firmly stretched out. I hit his ribs and his kidneys, two spots Choza-sensei had early on warned me to memorize, and he falls to his knee. The teenager weakly kicks me in the chest before I can hit him again, and on his eyes there's much more than mere frustration; there's something completely unguarded, something that isn't quite hate but rather a deep resentment that mixes with jealousy.

A light bulb goes off in my head just as Genma snarls and gets on the offensive again, but this time I'm too tired and he's too irate for me to be able to avoid his strong hits. The match has gone on for all of six minutes and I refuse to let frustration take over me now.

_'This isn't about you, Sarutobi. Get over it.'_

One second I'm desperately trying to block a series of quick kicks; on the next, I'm lying on my back staring up at the cloudy sky, my right cheekbone hurting in a way it wasn't just a moment ago.

For a while, it's quiet.

Both of us are panting, but Genma recovers much faster than I do. His face blocks my view of the scarce sun, a bunch of complicated emotions flying around his face. He almost grudgingly extends a hand out to me, helping me up, and we do the handshake for reconciliation.

"I knew you packed a punch, but damn. I don't know whose beating was worse, yours or Gai's."

In a split second, his face morphs into a snarl just as he roughly grabs me by the front of my kimono, and although there's a surprising amount of frustration and suppressed anger in his movements, both of us know he wouldn't dare hurt me for real. There's too much going on, but his ninja career might as well be over should he try.

The fact seems to anger him further and he shakes me, desperation coloring his movements and angry tears rolling down his face. I immediately feel bad.

"Genma-"

"SHUT UP!"

I can do little more than stare, completely baffled by the turn of events. The teenage boys visibly tries to get himself together, but that only seems to make the tears fall faster.

"Shut up." He says, much weaker than before. "You don't know anything."

"Then explain to me." I say softly, and his angry eyes snap back to mine. "Please help me understand."

Genma shoves me again, but this time there's no real heat on his movements, just a deep tiredness that breaks my heart in tiny little pieces. I have a feeling of where this is gonna go, but seeing it - actually experiencing it - reminds me of clan meetings and expectations and guilt and  _pleasepleaseunderstand-_

"You", he sniffs loudly, apparently forgetting he's holding me up, "you just have to be perfect, don't you?"

_'Ah.'_

Something bitter and repulsive fills my lungs and throat and mouth and for a split second I think I'm going to throw up on the boy's face.

"I'm not perfect, you know that." I whisper, and I remember a time when my brothers would look at me like-

"Yeah, I know, but no one else seems to. You're our esteemed Hokage's daughter, the prodigy, the one with a chakra release like the Shodaime's and you got perfect manners and you talk like an adult and it fucking pisses me off."

The words are so sad and his face looks so pained that I have to bite my lip to keep my own tears at bay.

' _There you go, Sarutobi. Your first real confrontation with someone who's constantly compared to you and doesn't know or doesn't care why you act like a mini adult.'_

"I thought I'd be free of it after I moved out. I thought that living away from my aunt would make things better. But guess what; it didn't. Did you know she goes out of her way to rub your achievements on my face?"

I swallow roughly, not having the confidence or the words to answer that.

"'Chiyuki-hime is so respectful. Why don't you follow her example?' 'Chiyuki-hime has such polished vocabulary, she must read a lot.' 'Chiyuki-hime is so young and so strong already, as expected of our Hokage's youngest.' Chiyuki-hime this, Chiyuki-hime that-"

"I'm so sorry." I manage to croak out, not recognizing my own voice. There's something utterly fragile and raw on his face that I can't help but let my own tears fall. I honestly have nothing else to say. "I'm so, so sorry."

Genma finally releases me, more like an afterthought. Tears still fall down freely down his face and there's snot coming out of his nose, both of us bruised from the spar. I don't know what kind of face I'm making, but his own relaxes just the slightest bit. When he speaks, his voice sounds hoarse, but surprised.

"You're honestly sorry." The teenager sounds so baffled to realize that and I sniffle, not caring about being proper or appearances or  _chinupChiyukiyouare-_

"I am." I reply just as hoarsely, messily wiping my face with my sleeve. "I'm truly sorry this happened - is happening to you. I promise it was never my intention."

Genma keeps quiet, a mystified look on his face. It feels as if he's looking at me with an entirely new set of eyes.

"I-", I clear my throat and bite my lip, trying to keep the tears at bay, "I'm… did you know the doctors told my parents I wouldn't live past my first year of life?"

"What?" He blurts out, completely thrown off by both the confession and the turn of the conversation.

"Yeah. When I was born, something was messing with my chakra, and no one could figure it out. By the time someone got Tsunade to take a look at me, it was too late. They said my body couldn't contain the mess that was my chakra and that soon my heart would stop."

The boy sombers up, not bothering to clean his face. Instead, he seems focused on the words that I whisper - and even though they're whispered, now that they're finally in the open I might as well have shouted them.

"But my mother is very stubborn, and she managed to come up with a seal that balanced my chakra." I tap my exposed forehead, where the two black lines are. "She expected me to live. And since then, she expected much, much more of me. I kept meeting them until I knew better."

"Chiyuki-"

"She wanted me to become clan heir."

His eyes nearly bulge out of their sockets.

"What?"

"Even though Tooru-nii was quite obviously born first and thus earned the right to it way before Asuma or I, even though he's been training for it during his entire life, even though it's not  _fair_."

By this point, I'm crying again, but I'm desperate to make Genma see I don't do it on purpose and that I'm not proud of it.

"I didn't want this. I didn't want to be different, I didn't want to stand out." I choke out a sob, tears blurring my vision.

I need to get this out.

"I'm truly, deeply sorry that your aunt keeps comparing the two of us, but please, please understand I don't feel any better because of it. My brothers are compared to me every single day and each time it happens I want to throw up because it's not  _fair_."

Then his hands are shaking me again, but it's more like a wake up call than anything else. We're both two bruised, battered, crying messes of kids and I don't know who's trying to comfort who.

"I accept your apology."

That only makes the tears fall faster and I'm full out sobbing and screw manners-

"Oof."

I end up tackling both of us to the ground, and it's not until a good while has passed and all the tears have dried - for now - that I gather the courage to ask.

"Hey, Genma. Who's your aunt?" 

"Satoru Mina. She says she bumps into you every so often."

I groan loudly, face flaming in embarrassment and guilt. I bury my face on the boy's stomach and he laughs.

The sound is enough to make me cry again.

.

* * *

.

"Well, don't you two look cute today!"

I'm not sure if Choza-sensei is being ironic or if he's being honest. Genma and I look worse than we did yesterday, with not only bruises but also big, puffy red eyes from all the crying. However, we look at each other, and although Tooru had thrown a fit yesterday, I feel much lighter. Breathing is a lot easier, and I feel as if I could take on the whole world right now.

' _He sees it. He truly understands I don't mean to do it.'_

"Thanks, sensei." Genma answers, but in his voice you can clearly hear the sarcasm.

"You're welcome, you're welcome. Now, there's been a slight change in plans and we'll join another team during the next few weeks. From tomorrow onwards we'll be sleeping there, so make sure you prepare accordingly, hm?"

"That is Most Youthful, sensei! And where are we going?"

Admittedly, I should have known when I sensed three very familiar chakras not far from us. One of them is nearly as familiar as my own, a signature I've known ever since we were both three years old.

"Welcome, children, to your first mission at the outposts! This is team Minato, and I'm sure many of you already know each other."

I have a second to realize I'm falling to my knees when the headache hits me. Kakashi is next to me in an instant, and right beside him is a blonde man with sky blue eyes.

.

* * *

.

Spoilers: keep an eye out for Mamoru. It's not the last we'll see of him.

**Question: If you were a ninja, what would be your weapon of choice and why?**

**.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays, y'all. Thank you so much for the support so far. I'll see you next year!


	11. Third Section - Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being a paranoid adult in a clan child's body is, more often than not, a curse rather than a blessing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning on writing an extra long chapter as an apology for the wait, but I've been stuck on a writer's block for a while now and decided to upload what I've written until now. I hope 2019 has been treating y'all well so far!
> 
> A kind reviewer (I don't remember who you are, I'm so sorry) asked me about the conflicts in Chiyuki's life and if she isn't solving them a bit too quickly. Particularly, I don't think that's the case, but I'm heavily biased. It took her a few days to talk things out with Genma even though it might have looked like something rushed - again, biased. I do, however, get your point, and I can assure you Chiyuki's troubles will be neither far nor few in between (there are at least two more brewing on this chapter), and she won't deal with them as nicely as she'd like to. Tell me what y'all think, though! I'll make sure to keep that in mind.
> 
> I do not own Naruto.

**Becoming a Hokage 101**

.

Section Three

.

Chapter Ten

.

At first, there's red  _everywhere_.

It bubbles and burns acidly on my skin, making it hard to breathe and to concentrate. There's just something that's insanely powerful weighing down on me-

-a shape in the distance-

' _A fox?'_

Red turns blue.

Blue eyes as bright as the sky and a young face so eager to please, so eager to try and-

_-'if I just get the chance to-'_

Two parents: one is red, the other is blue.

The Red Parent is loving. Powerful. The presence of something else lingers, but it's not suffocating.

The Blue Parent is-

"Ah."

Somehow, I'm sitting on the ground with far more people around me than I'm comfortable with. Kakashi ( _'of course Kakashi looks ready to pick me up and bolt-'_ ) and Rin are kneeling next to me, the boy supporting my back and the girl checking me up with medical chakra.

However, the one that I see the most clearly in the moment is the Blue Parent - Namizake Minato, future Yondaime hokage, who'll single-handedly kill a thousand Iwa-nin and end the war and his wife is Uzumaki Kushina and they'll have a son who'll house the Nine Tailed Fox and this boy is the freaking  _starting point of everything-_

"Breathe." A sharp, but not unkind command. Air fills my lungs in a rush, clearing my head and chasing the headache away.

' _Didn't you want to see Rin in medic-nin mode? Well, there you have it.'_

I choke on the air I breathe, and Rin pushes just a little bit more of her chakra on my lungs. I look up and I see seven faces looking at me with various degrees of worry and curiosity, but the one that stands out the most and makes everything else blur in comparison is our next hokage, father of Uzumaki Naruto, the boy who'll house the Nine Tailed Fox and will become shunned by the village his parents loved and sworn to protect.

It makes my heart hurt.

' _The villagers bullied and mistreated a young boy who knew nothing of his condition. What did my father do?'_

My father did his best. Admittedly, his best wasn't enough, but he was treading on a thin line trying to keep the peace Minato had won with fear and rebuild the village the Fox had destroyed. I know he kept things secret, and that ended up being worse in the long run, but Naruto-

_-'Naruto, Naruto, that sweet, sweet boy,-'_

-Naruto braved on. Somehow, he endured it all and vowed to become hokage to protect the own village that had shunned him.

The very village that  _hated_  him.

What does then-

_-why?_

Why did he want to become hokage?

Why does he want to protect people that once hated him?

Why does he want to be acknowledged by them?

Would I have done the same if I were in his place?

' _You know the answer to that.'_

"Chiyuki." Kakashi says sharply, and for now another existential crisis is pushed to the back of my head. Rin is no longer using medical chakra on me, but I feel her hand rubbing comforting circles on my back. My head hurts and it makes me feel as if my eyes are going to explode my eyes out of its sockets, but this… flashback wasn't like the others. I didn't faint, which is a plus.

"Perhaps we should take you to your mom…" Choza-sensei says, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. At his remark, I shake my head, regretting it immediately when it makes me dizzy.

"No, sensei, I'm going to be fine. I just need some time." I nearly say it's happened before, but I catch myself just in time. If I did, they would definitely try to send me back home, and I'd never hear the end of it. "Sometimes the seal… glitches. Mother says she'll figure it out before the month is up."

The truth, but not the entire truth. The seal does glitch and mother did say that, but no one knows how or why it does that.

Minato raises both eyebrows, a curious look on his face, and only then I realize how  _young_  and handsome he is. He can't possibly be older than 20. In my memories, the fourth hokage wasn't ever seen this young, perhaps in one or two occasions during his genin days. This person here, though, is barely older than Genma, and already a jonin sensei.

It's… a shock.

"...right. If you say so. Team Choza will keep a close eye on you, isn't that right, boys?" I pale, knowing full well the implications of that. Genma just nods and smirks, but the one that worries me the most is-

"YOSH! I'LL DO MY UTMOST TO PROTECT THE YOUTHFUL BLOSSOM OF OUR TEAM-"

"Take it easy, Gai."

Minato barks out a laugh, and I hide my burning face in my hands.

' _Are you seeing this, mother? Look how many good first impressions I'm making.'_

.

* * *

.

"I didn't know you were sent to administration on your first set of d-ranks."

"It was boring."

"Everything is boring to you."

"That was the most boring thing I've ever done in my entire life."

"Kakashi, we're  _seven_."

"So? It's true."

Because of a mostly harmless mishap (courtesy of Obito, I've been told) at the admin building, two genin teams were assigned to a few weeks at the outposts at the same time. Choza-sensei said it ended up being a good thing, because then we can train a little more intensively and see a bit of action without being at the borders.

The outposts aren't actually that big or anything like that. They are scattered around the village's borders and are castle-looking structures, with tall walls and two or three big outposts. Most of them can house up to ten shinobi at once, which is why we were sent to the one closest to the gate. With six genin occupying the space of capable ninja who have more experience and can protect the village better, you don't want to put them at, say, the woods outpost. You want to keep the children close by, especially because the chance of anyone attacking through the front gates is minimal.

"So Kakashi does act like a normal child!" We both whip around to look at the newcomer, and Minato smiles good-naturedly at us. Here, from this height, there's a nice breeze that ruffles your hair and your clothes, but it's not enough to make your ears hurt or your hair to fly everywhere. Minato looks even more handsome with his blonde hair being gently swept by the wind, and if I didn't know he is already head over heels over Kushina, I'd probably have a crush on him.

Kakashi doesn't verbally respond to the teasing, only pouts behind his mask. I choose to join in on the teasing.

"I wouldn't say he's normal…" I respond, expertly avoiding a well-known jab to the hips. The blonde man only laughs, apparently amused by the new side of Kakashi he's seeing.

"Neither are you." The silver haired boy replies sullenly, and I have half the mind to stick my tongue out at him.

"Yeah, but I knew it from the start. You don't even admit it."

"Being normal isn't necessarily a bad thing, though, is it?" Minato hums thoughtfully before any of us can do anything else, and his blue eyes flicker to the seal on my forehead. I can tell he's dying to ask about it - as a sensor, I have no doubt he can feel all the work and energy behind it - but hasn't done so yet. Instead of taking the social clue, I hum back.

"I don't think it's a good thing either." I keep my voice light and my expression open, making sure to not seem rude or anything like that.

The blonde has a contemplative expression on his face, and I have no doubt he's trying to map me from the inside out.

It doesn't mean it's that easy.

"Well, being different is not about being a good or a bad thing. It's just another way to do things." He says thoughtfully while Kakashi watches the exchange with the eyes of a hawk. I nod, agreeing with him.

"Mhm, I think so too."

"Did you come here for something, sensei?" I stare horrified at my best friend, his statement bordering on hostile. There's a glint in his eyes I really don't like, but Minato merely laughs it off.

"Ahahaha, I did! No need to be so defensive of the famou Chiyuki I've heard so much about, Kakashi." Said boy is nearly fuming, but his sensei continues. "Now that all the paperwork's been done, it's time to show you hatchlings the ropes. C'mon, everyone's waiting down there."

"Could've said that sooner." The boy next to me grumbles, and I pinch him on the arm, sending him a warning glance.

'What?' He seems to yell with his eyes.

'Don't be so rude!' I mouth back, angry and horrified at the same time. I had always known Kakashi was a little shit, but I had never expected him to be so outwardly rude.

The young Hatake merely scoffs and nudges me forward, and although I have no doubt Minato sensed the whole exchange, but at the very least he has his back to us.

Sure enough, we were the only ones left inside. On the small clearing around the outpost, everyone's scattered about, no doubt waiting for us. I feel shame burn inside of me, my mother's voice in my head-

"Ahaha, sorry we're late! We got lost on the road of life, you see."

"Ah, sensei! You can't use my excuses!"

"So they  _are_ excuses."

"That's not what I-"

"Obito, please shut up, you're not helping."

Genma's monotone words break the lighthearted exchange between Minato and Obito, and as the chunins in charge gather everyone around, both teams gravitate naturally towards each other.

"Done catching up?" Genma asks dryly while Gai not so subtly checks for non-existent injuries, but I feel a warmth bloom inside my chest, very different to the hot shame of earlier.

"Yup. Told him all your dirty secrets."

"Oh. Woe is me." I snort at his deadpan voice, and one of the older chunins clears his throat.

"Although underrated, our work at the outposts is of the utmost importance, especially in these times."

The atmosphere immediately sombers up, all traces of amusement gone from everyone's faces. We're at war, and in the big scheme of things, no help is too small.

"The schedule changes everyday and only the ninja working that day will know it. Shifts also vary between 2 to 6 hours straight at times, from morning to night."

That's smart. Pretty confusing, yes, but it's the safest way to avoid breaches.

"Depending on the number of shinobi assigned to each outpost, there'll be a few checking the perimeter every now and then, and the others are in charge of watching their surroundings like hawks. Here, I hope you'll learn more than just protocols."

' _It'll definitely be a good way of practicing my sensor skills.'_  My eyes shift very briefly to Minato, who's occupied explaining something to his team. I know he's a genius, Jiraya's student and a great sensor, but I've also been told there are different ways to sense people.

"Your senseis have today's schedule and will pass it onto you, but from tomorrow onwards you're expected to come get them on your own. Questions?"

.

* * *

.

Every shinobi has their own ninja senses, as I like to call it. Some people call it gut feeling, instincts, or maybe even sixth sense, but to me it's just a reflection of your consciousness out in the world. Your ninja sense is basically that one voice in your head you absolutely will listen to, especially in dire situations, although it can work wonders in non-threatening occurrences as well.

"What do you feel when you try to sense chakra?"

I hum, trying to put into words the way I sense without really giving away my chakra nature.

"I… spread out my senses." Minato nods encouragingly and I pursue my lips. "No, that's not quite it. It works a bit like a sonar, I suppose. I don't spread out my senses in one big wave, but rather constant, medium sized ones. It does take a second or two longer than the former, but I've learnt it's more accurate this way."

The blonde jonin hums thoughtfully, a curious tilt to his head. He looks even younger and cuter like this, and I almost forget just how much of a genius he is.

"And how do you receive that information?"

"It comes back to me in… hums, I'd say. Vibrations. The more familiar I am with someone, the clearer and the quicker their chakra will hum back to me."

"How interesting." Minato says rubbing thoughtfully at his hairless chin, and there's a glint of something on his eyes that I don't know how I feel about. He's definitely curious, that much is clear, and although the flashbacks have shown me he is a loyal and reliable shinobi, I do like to infer my own impressions on these characters that are very much real to me.

If Kakashi were here, I'm 100% sure I'd feel his eyes burn a hole through my skull, both of us very aware that's only half of it. In fact, it'd been Kakashi himself that had suggested I try to sense  _people's iron in their blood_  a few days ago - and how insane was it that it worked? Of course, it's a skill that needs _a lot_  of honing, but it does work like a sonar.

But well. No one needs to know the details unless absolutely necessary.

"And you, sensei?" He blinks once, as if startled I'd want to know about his sensor skills -

' _Crap.'_

"Me?" Now I definitely don't like the look in his eyes. It's not calculating per se, but it is… measuring. Curious, but cautious. As if he'd know every dirty little secret of mine just by watching me squirm a little bit.

' _Try again.'_

I nod once, not a single crack on my Hokage's Daughter mask. The metaphorical mask is whole, durable and strong in a way I might never be - but hey, it's why I created it in the first place. It's just that I've had a lot of opportunities to strengthen it over the years.

"Father mentioned you're one of the most promising ninja of our time and that you are a great sensor and seal master."

Minato hums again, a long and deep sound that might as well have come from a giant feline ready to pounce.

' _You may have more experience in the ninja world, but you are definitely younger than my mental age. Besides, being the youngest child of the current hokage and dealing with all the drama that comes with it has got to count for something.'_ I think, somewhat bitterly. On the outside, though? The Mask is unshakeable.

Then he gives a bashful smile and rubs at the neck of his head, something so purely boyish and sincere that I'm forced to blink twice, carefully.

' _It's probable this man is measuring you up as much as you are him. Be careful, and don't let the Mask slip.'_

"Ahah, has he? Oh boy, now I'm all sorts of embarrassed."

I blink once more, unamused. Still waiting for his answer.

"My chakra is more like a fog, I'd say. As it spreads, chakra signatures light up the way like lanterns, although it's common for familiar chakras to be sensed first." He nods to himself, as if proud of some confirmation, and sends a gentle smile my way.

"You do know I'm on your side, right? There's no need to act so defensive around me."

I stiffen up and the Mask cracks.

"I honestly don't know what I did to you, but your defensive energy is rubbing off on Kakashi and it's making him all sorts of protective - which, yeah, I know it's a thing already, but still."

I thank whatever deity is out there that Kakashi is on a perimeter check with Genma and Choza-sensei, otherwise his hackles would be all the way up.

' _Turns out I'm not as much of a good actress I thought I was. Odd, since the Mask works with just about everyone else.'_

I don't answer, keeping a blank face and purposefully letting the silence drag on. The Mask heals itself, not a single stain visible.

' _Or it could be he's just not like everyone else and I might have to up my game.'_

He fidgets minutely, but I don't believe the movement is not intentional for one second. I know exactly what's put me on the defensive against him, and that's-

"-oh boy, you're just like Kakashi, how are seven year olds so frightening, what have they been feeding you children-"

"You remind me of myself."

The blonde immediately drops his rant, a serious but confused look on his face.

"What do you mean?"

I shrug, not wanting to put it into words. The reality is that Minato thinks too much like me, and he can be just as manipulative and deceiving as me. Obviously, I  _know_ he's a good person. I know it just as I know the sky is blue and the grass is green, but -

-but it doesn't change the fact that this man destroyed nearly an entire village's manpower by himself and was powerful enough to become hokage for quite some time before the Nine Tails incident, and what do you say about a military dictator who brought peace by killing millions?

Ninja life is not pretty, but it doesn't have to be a slaughterhouse, either.

And Minato-

-Minato looks too much like what I could be if I'm not careful. Someone who achieves fragile peace by instigating resentment and fear on others is definitely not someone who I'd like to become. We are at war, yes, and Konoha is still our utmost priority, but it doesn't mean peace can only be achieved by endless fighting and fear.

_Bright blue eyes flash on my mind, so similar to his father's, yet so different. They shine and shine even though the village doesn't give them a reason to. They shine even brighter when they're not so young and not so naive, but it's not until later that the village does give them a reason to sparkle._

' _Will I ever be a little like you, Naruto?'_

"There's… ruthlessness in you. Hidden, just like mine. But it's there all the same."

' _There's a possibility I might end up like you, and that terrifies me.'_

Minato tilts his head pressing his lips together, and I can practically see his gears working overtime.

"We are at war."

I get the nearly overwhelming urge to send him my best 'no, shit' look at him, but refrain out of respect for my superior. Instead, I raise both eyebrows, sending a 'really?' look at him.

"That's not what I meant."

The stare off goes for a few more moments before the man bursts out laughing, going so far as to kneel on the floor clutching his stomach. He laughs so hard tears come out of his eyes, although it's not a loud sound, so the chunin in charge merely gives our direction a glance and an eye roll.

"Holy crap, they told me you were scary, but this is just ridiculous." Minato finally says after a while, gathering himself together and wiping at the tears on the corners of his eyes. The iron in his blood pumps at the same leisure pace his chakra does, which indicates he's either a goof or really good at acting. Something points at the former.

"Thanks." I say dryly.

"No, that wasn't meant in a bad way. Uh, see. There's a lot of talk about you, okay?" He says carefully, watching out for my reactions.

' _Nothing new under the sun.'_

I nod, wondering where he's going with this.

He nods back, albeit a little automatically. "Right. So, people say you kind of have a… what's the expression?"

"An old soul." I complete, guffawing in my head. The irony in the situation is almost too much for me to take.

"Yeah, an old soul. And although there  _is_ that… well." His lips are a thin line by the end of his cut off sentence, as if he'd just barely stopped short of saying something he didn't mean to.

Well, if we  _are_ having this conversation, why not go all the way?

I blink and keep my expression curious and guarded rather than offended. The Mask shifts, accommodating the new parameters.

"It's just…" He begins, but then stops and licks his lips. The action makes him look so young and lost that I nearly take pity on him, but he was the one who decided to address the elephant in the room. "-I know it's a harsh world. I  _know_ it. But it seems to be especially hard on people like you and Kakashi."

' _Prodigies.'_

Minato laughs, but it's not a happy sound. It's a self-deprecating, hollow laugh that does nothing to ease the mood.

Realistically, I knew that I was not a true genius like Kakashi and Minato were. This world looks at me and sees a prodigy, someone who's on the same level as those two, but I know the reality is far from it. People in this world are too quick to put a label on children who perform above average without considering all the aspects of the situation, and although I'll certainly not shout to the skies that I remember my previous life, it does nothing to appease the bitter little thing in my head.

' _You are not a genius.'_

"I wish you didn't have to feel like you have to have your guard up at all times."

' _I know.'_

I take a precious moment to regard Minato in silence. I see a young man barely out of his teens who knows too much and performs way too well to go by unnoticed. I see the shadows under his eyes and I know there's been a lot of pressure on him. I see clearly what he could become, years from now, ruthless and merciless and murdering thousands in the blink of an eye-

' _Ah.'_

-but this is not that Minato.

' _I've been wrong from the start.'_

The Mask shifts, then disappears altogether.

' _This isn't really about who I could be, is it?'_

Taking a deep breath, I swallow the little bitter pill of prejudice and wrong impressions and force my mind to-

' _It's not even about who Minato could be.'_

-to stop reaching unfounded conclusions and going haywire at every single thing.

I smile easily at the man for the first time. I still reserve the right to remain cautious around him, yes, but right now-

"Thank you, Minato-sensei."

-right now this Minato is not  _that_ Minato, and although there's a high chance I'll get to see the war shape him into the Fourth Hokage-

(He blinks, no doubt getting whiplash from the sudden shift in my mood. He smiles back though, as naturally as one breathes.)

-I'll also be there by his side, and hopefully see the man ( _not the shinobi, and certainly not the hokage_ ) that will be Naruto's father.

"...you're welcome, Chiyuki."

.

* * *

.

For a whole week, nothing noteworthy happens.

True to his word, every shinobi assigned to this current outpost had to go to the chunin in charge and get their schedule for the day. Whether you'd stay, go on patrol, or get to train with your sensei was something you didn't know until the last minute. During that week, I got to practice sensing iron in people's (and animal's) bloodstream and learning how to read their chakra from that. No one's ever attempted this kind of thing before, so it was all pretty much trial and error. Usually, when someone's heart was beating faster than average it could mean a myriad of things - whether they were angry, upset, ready to battle or simply had high blood pressure, well. It's a valuable skill, but one that has a lot of room for growth.

No matter my task for the day, though, I'm never alone. I've gone on patrols with everyone, have trained with everyone, have stayed at the outposts with everyone. It's great to spend time with friends, don't get me wrong, but it also means I'm  _never_ alone, and that can be… suffocating.

True to his sensei's word, Kakashi stopped acting weird as soon as the thing between Minato and I got over and done with, which only served to plant yet another seed of doubt in my mind.

' _Kakashi's never been like this with anyone back in canon. He avoided letting his team in until he did and then it was too late.'_

The boy is my brother in every way except blood. He understands me in a way very few people can, and was my very first supporter in this -albeit currently shaky- quest to becoming hokage.

' _Are you sure you want a hokage like this, Kakashi?'_

"Has anyone said you think too much?"

Genma's bored voice cuts through the silence I'd been hiding in, waiting for the shift in turns for the perimeter check. I manage a grin at him, moving out from my hideout underneath the trees' shade.

"All the time. The shift-"

Everything happens way too fast.

In the middle of a sentence, the very tree I'd been sitting under shatters and sends wood splinters everywhere, my skin barely having enough time to harden halfway.

' _Genma.'_

I look around frantically, trying and failing to check up on everyone at the same time while half-assedly focusing chakra on my arms.

That's my first mistake.

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* * *

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Thank you all for your patience and support. See you next chapter!

Question: what would be the main color of your ninja outfit?


	12. Third Section - Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mistakes don't shape you. The way you react to them does.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> from here on out it's all downhill folks wait what

Thank you so much for all the love and support I've been getting! Have this eventful chapter as an apology for the shortness (and cliffhanger) of the last one.

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I do not own Naruto.

* * *

**Becoming a Hokage 101**

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Section Three

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Chapter Eleven

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There was a time when I'd let it get to me.

Back when war was still a faraway concept in my mind and my only friends were my brothers and a reluctant Kakashi, the clan's council had begun to throw the words 'genius' and 'clan heir' around. Even then I'd been appalled to take the clan heir spot from Tooru, but the truth was that I  _did_ catch up on things quicker than other clan children, even if it wasn't truly intentional.

I am, however, an adult in a clan child's body, and things came to me in the way that older people naturally  _get_ things. I was acutely aware of my body mass and the things I could and couldn't do; I was eager to please, but I wasn't reckless; I'd already had an idea of what chakra and ninja were, and it all meant that I simply didn't have to work as hard or be reckless and learn from my mistakes.

I'd almost thought I really was a genius, and then came Kakashi.

Kakashi is a true prodigy in a way people don't quite realize. If I had thought I caught up on things fast, I definitely wasn't prepared for him to take half the time I did, with the added bonus of making it look as if it were as easy as sticking a leaf on your forehead - and that applied to just about anything ranging from taijutsu to fuinjutsu.

' _Ah. So this is what a true genius is like.'_

I remember thinking quite bitterly after seeing him effortlessly applying fuinjutsu concepts that were (and still are, honestly) complete gibberish to me.

I am not and never was a genius. What I had was a cheat - two, if you count being reborn in a clan; I knew things because I'd lived all of this before. Kakashi knew things because his brain processed everything much faster and efficiently than everyone else. Even that sad, sad boy, with long black hair in a ponytail and the weight of the world on his shoulders didn't learn things as effortlessly as Kakashi did. One had been pushed to do so, and the other simply did.

Back then, making mistakes left an acid taste in my mouth, a constant reminder that things would never be  _easy_ for me, and that I'd been foolish to think it'd be so. Father had taken one look at the ugly scowl on my face and sighed - a long, suffering sound, one that implied he'd seen similar cases one too many times.

Back then, he had told me to learn from my mistakes and move on, but it was a long time before I truly accepted who I was and who I wanted to be.

Back then, when mistakes wouldn't cost my life, it'd been easy to believe it'd always stay that way.

"Watch out!"

Another tree goes down, splinters both clattering against and passing through the half formed armor in my skin. There's a loud ringing in my ears, and everything's too fast-

Too fast,  _too fast-_

"Leaf Hurricane!"

Gai, the absolute angel that he is, intercepts an unknown ninja's attack about to hit me in the back. My second mistake is to keep trying to form the armor while looking for the hum of my friends' iron in their blood, and it costs me dearly - now there's a louder, constant ringing that brings me to my knees and nearly renders me useless.

There's a familiar hand on my back -  _'Genma'_  - and then I'm being guided to the sidelines, the boy's taller form hovering over me. I can see his mouth moving and the worried frown on his face, but all I hear is an incessant ringing that makes me more and more nauseous by the second.

' _Ah. They did something to my ears.'_  I think belatedly and a bit detachedly. Genma's shaking my shoulders lightly, making me pay attention to the words he's forming.

"The senseis are taking the brunt of the attack-"

As if on cue, a white flash and what must have been an explosion from Genma's flinch punctuate the sentence, but the boy braves on.

"-and I know you're hurt, but we're outnumbered and backup is on its way. We need to hold down the fort."

There's grim determination in his face, and for a minute he looks decades older than his twelve years. A whisper of iron as familiar as my own tells me team Minato is off to the side, holding back attacks from-

-from about  _twenty_ unidentified ninja around the area, and bile rises up my throat.

Gai arrives on a flourish next to me, and gives me a reassuring smile, even if he's panting.

Gai.

_Panting._

' _Shit.'_

Genma shakes me one more time, and if I weren't so close to just welcoming the creeping darkness I'd have been offended.

"Formation C!"

Muscle memory is a wonderful thing, and I thank Choza-sensei for all the times he's made us go over formations time and time again. Even if my mind isn't quite processing things and I still feel like vomiting my intestines out, my body automatically falls into a well-known formation of our team.

In a loose triangle formation, Genma automatically takes the lead and launches a series of long-ranged senbon attacks on some ninja. A few get hit, and it's only because of Gai's ridiculous speed that he manages to knock them all down while they're distracted, blurring in and out of sight as we keep moving forward.

' _Time to pull your weight, Sarutobi.'_

I take a deep breath in,  _willing_ my brain to push the pain and the nausea to a corner to be dealt with later. I open my eyes again, and even though I still can't hear anything past the loud ringing, strategizing is a tad easier. My skin drops the half-formed armor and I keep a careful, but stable flow of chakra to my hands. Effortlessly, a thin block of iron forms in each palm-

' _Loose arms. Loose legs. Put all of that flexibility training to use.'_

Bonelessly, my arms spread out like a whip as I twist and both blocks of metal hit a couple of ninja who were about to gain in on Gai, and they fall to the ground like sacks of potatoes. The element of surprise plus the unexpected strength behind a metal bind around their wrists coming out of nowhere is enough to take them out of the game for now, but everything's too fast-

_-too fast-_

There's no time to see their reaction.

Two more blocks already in my palms, I throw both at a tall man who had been about to strike Genma.

' _Get away from them.'_

Another two go down.

' _ **Get away from them.'**_

I reinforce the iron bind in their wrists through chakra manipulation and throw another at their shin, effectively preventing them from moving from their position.

Genma is getting tired, but keeps on throwing senbon at key points in the attackers' bodies. Pain and nausea are pushed to a far away corner, adrenaline making block after block form in my hands and throwing them at the distracted ninjas. Gai is a blur, knocking those who are immobile unconscious and occasionally giving Genma cover.

' _Get away-'_

Uchiha chakra - hot, searing,  _painful_ \- overwhelms my senses for a second, making me falter.

It's enough.

Blinding  _pain_ blossoms in my left leg, and I vaguely register screaming and falling to the ground.

Familiar lightning chakra  _crackles_ even through the now louder ringing in my ears-

A well-known green blur-

A yellow flash-

Darkness falls upon me like a blanket, and I can do little but welcome it.

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* * *

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Waking up the first time is a slow, painful process.

The bedding and the atmosphere aren't strangers, nor is the person sitting next to the hospital bed.

"Chiyuki."

My mother's tone is unreadable, as is her face. Carefully, she guides me into a sitting position, putting a cup of water with a straw in front of me. I swallow a couple of mouthfuls, struggling against rising bile.

My body feels heavy and demands to shut down.

I obey.

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* * *

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The second time is a bit easier.

"Chiyuki."

Sitting in the plastic chair is Tooru with an expression he no doubt learned from our mother. It's thunderous, worried, halfway through crying, and it has no place in his young face.

I can't remember the last time he called me by my name.

"Tooru-nii." I whisper, voice hoarse through the disuse and the bile and the knot in my throat.

He slowly moves forward as hugs me as tightly as he can without aggravating my injuries.

I only realize I'm crying when I choke out a sob, tears and snot smearing all over his shirt.

My brother says nothing, and it  _terrifies_ me.

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* * *

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I wake up home the third time.

Without even opening my eyes, I smell our apple trees and feel the hum of iron in the clanspeople. There's bustling around as usual, but a terse edge surrounds the main house. It threatens to come crashing down, drowning all in its wake and leaving no survivors.

It also feels like a warm blanket, familiar and welcoming and scary in its voracity, in its protectiveness and determination.

Belatedly, I realize both my parents and my brothers are home, and a part of me marvels at the rarity of the moment.

' _Why is it that the whole family had to be home when I'm injured?'_

I open my eyes and see the exhausted face of my father.

"Father." I rasp out, and yet again a cup of water with a straw is guided to my lips.

The energy suffocates me at the same time it calms me down.

Sitting up is much easier this time around without the pain and the nausea. The only discomfort is in the soreness of my body, the kind that comes after pushing it to the limit and demanding more.

In the heat of battle and the desperation fueling my movements, it'd been easy to forget my body was that of a seven year old - and now I was paying the price.

"Chiyuki." Weariness, worry, exhaustion-

-a will of iron-

(-of iron? Was it not fire?-)

My father exhales heavily, and for a second the entire house releases its breath with him. He regards me with tired, tired eyes, the kind of tired sleep can't ever fix.

I wonder if I'm going to send him to an early grave.

Mother enters the room as silently and deadly as always, softness in her steps but steel in her eyes. She sends a brief glare at my father, who seems to hunch his shoulders in response.

' _Something's not right.'_

My mother sets the cups of tea she'd been carrying down and carefully hands me one. The comforting smell of chamomile wafts up to my nose and warms me from the inside out, relaxing my muscles. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Biwako grudgingly give another cup to my father, who accepts with an incline of his head.

As I take a careful sip, their eyes meet, and a whole conversation is had before me without anyone even saying anything. Finally, my mother sighs, and the room gets warmer.

"How are you feeling?"

I blink slowly, taking a moment to process the question. Aside from the soreness I'm physically okay, although there is something nagging at the back of my mind, telling me that's not all there's to it. It simmers and boils and gurgles just out of my reach, and I know the answer's right before me.

"Other than feeling sore, I'm alright." I reply honestly, meeting my mother's eyes head on. Something in her seems to settle down even as she grips her own cup of tea tighter. "What happened?"

My parents share a long, meaningful look, until my mother sighs again.

"I am not aware of the details. For those, you'll have to ask those who were there. I know only of what I've read in the reports." I nod, taking another sip of the tea. "Although Kumo has denied any involvement in it, a few ninjas in their attire were captured amongst the twenty two that attacked the outpost."

I feel both my eyebrows raise, confusion and dread filling me for a moment. Why would  _anyone_ send over twenty ninjas to attack an outpost with ten people in it? And let's not even mention the fact that six of those were  _genin_ , it'd be a massacre-

I open my mouth in horror as my parents' faces turn grim.

"They knew." I whisper, for some reason not daring to speak any louder than that.

"There was a breach in security, yes. The enemies knew of the change in shifts and who exactly was there." Detached coldness seeps through my mother's voice, and I can't blame her- not when I feel myself doing the same, shoving down any feelings of fear in exchange for the clinical coldness of logic. "Very few attackers survived. Although they were great in number, only a handful were of chunin rank. After backup arrived, no one had the chance to flee."

' _Expendable.'_

Whoever the mind behind the attack was, they weren't expecting to really do any damage or even kill anyone. To send twenty-two people to attack ten-

No. This was calculated.

Even if they weren't much more skilled than genin, such a number is nothing to scoff at. Whether the objective had been to scare or to scout, it doesn't matter in the long run. There were few survivors and even fewer would be willing to talk about it, especially if they really are from Kumo - and from the looks of it, no one is searching particularly hard for them.

It feels too much like testing the waters at the same time it feels like a provocation.

"Do we know their objective?"

My mother closes her eyes for a moment, something pained and desperate coming over her features. My father seems to have all the fight leave him in that instant, and dread fills my gut once more.

"We suspect they were there for two reasons: one, to shake Konoha morale; two, to capture you."

Searing hot rage fills my brain at the same time freezing fear does.

"Whoever leaked the information knew it all; they knew the change in shifts, who would be there, and they knew of the Iron Release." Father speaks for the first time in a while, voice rough and hard. This speaks too much of sabotage from the inside-

-worse than that. It speaks of treason so deep and so raw that it shakes the very ground Konoha was built upon.

The thing is that my Iron Release is not common knowledge even inside Konoha, and it's definitely not something foreign ninja would know about. Whoever knows this has either been allowed to see me train or has heard people speak about it-

It had to be someone close to me, or to the family. Someone my parents trusted so implicitly they'd never expect something like this. Someone that's so intrinsically woven in Konoha itself that no seeds of doubt had ever been planted.

Something in my head nearly yells in frustration, the same nagging feeling demanding attention once again. It's made of claws and tentacles and vicious teeth that tries to climb its way out by force, and it's so desperate and so ruthless a headache immediately blooms in the back of my eyes. I am well aware there's a part of me - the part that holds all memories and flashbacks from Before - that clearly knows whoever is behind it, but another part of me - the one that shields me from the onslaught of information from a life that is no longer mine - refuses to budge, a strange tug of war made of self preservation and fear.

"The main objective wasn't to capture you, but they were ordered to do so if the chance came. Their primary goal was to divide and conquer - to instill fear so close to home." Now that my father has started to talk he doesn't seem to be able to stop, and my mom looks vaguely sick. "There are foreign ninja who know of your chakra release, and we were made aware of this fact."

"Why are you telling me all of this?" I frown at the now lukewarm tea in my hands, the last thing from my mind being relaxation. I'm pretty sure all of this information is supposed to be confidential, even if I'm the hokage's child.

"Because you will not leave the village in a while, but you are so headstrong we  _needed_ you to understand the importance of it."

"Another team will fill your place at the outpost."

A part of me is amazed at how well my parents seem to know how my mind works. Another part, a bigger one, rages in injustice and bitterness.

' _So the hokage's daughter won't leave the village because it's dangerous but it's alright to send in other lambs to the slaughterhouse?'_

"What about my team?"

"You will all be transferred to in-village missions."

"I hope you are aware this is non-negotiable, Chiyuki."

' _If I didn't have this motherfucking stupid ass shit ridiculous chakra release-'_

"Where are they?"

"They began at the Administration Building yesterday."

"It's where you'll go once I'm certain you're able to."

' _Because of me my entire team will be dragged down-'_

"How long have I been out?"

There's something struggling inside of me. Something both fearful and feared and it fuels the bitterness. It feeds the part of me that knows everything that happens in this world - _my world_  - but is held back. It hardens and polishes the Hokage's Daughter Mask. It threatens to swallow me whole, to consume and control, and I wonder briefly if this is what insanity feels like.

"You were asleep for a week."

Biwako explains something about chakra and stamina and adrenaline and wounds, but I do not need excuses or explanations formed on hunches.

' _I need answers.'_

The Mask clicks into place.

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* * *

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The sight that greets me two days later is made of something like this:

A worried-looking Genma who can't quite hide the relief he feels when he sees me, but who also seems to be stopping himself from crowding too much;

An excited-looking Gai who is being held by the back of his green suit by none other than our oldest teammate, ready to yell about spring and youth the minute he's free;

A relieved-looking Rin who is halfway through her tears and almost runs to meet me, but The Mask hasn't been taken off once since I properly woke up and that seems to keep her away;

A strangely subdued Obito who certainly looks glad to see me, but who otherwise seems pale and small under the lights of the admin building;

And lastly, but not leastly, Choza-sensei beaming at me in all his glory - and despite The Mask, I can't help but feel warm all over.

Kakashi and Minato are not so oddly enough missing, and I suspect the blonde took my friend for some training no one else knows of. Go figure.

The Mask shifts and allows a smile to bloom on my face. It's small but genuine, and that seems to be enough for Rin to dash forward and hug me to her chest. I'm prepared for it, though, and feel proud of myself when I don't even flinch.

"Chiyuki!"

"MOST YOUTHFUL BLOSSOM-"

"Take it easy, Gai."

"Hey, glad to see you're doing better."

Like a dam just broke, I'm suddenly surrounded by warmth and lightness, well-wishes and happy tears, teasing and the booming laugh of my sensei. I get the nearly overwhelming urge to shed The Mask just this once-

_-'I'm amongst allies, after all'-_

But something stops me. That something is the same memory that wants to claw its way out to the surface but cannot, something purely based on instinct that whispers  **'the walls have eyes and ears'**  to me. Even if I am safe and amongst friends-

_-'even so'-_

The Mask stays in place and no one notices.

_-'I need answers.'_

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* * *

.

Work at the Administration Building is, as one would suspect, filled with paperwork after paperwork. Everything needs to be written down and sent to Archives accordingly, and there is no space for error. Regardless of the surprising pressure on those who work here, teams Choza and Minato (sans two of its members) were divided into groups for the sake of the sanity of the supervisor.

The place is also the Hokage's Tower, and damn if that wasn't entirely intentional.

"Sasakibe-oji." I greet the older man, a smile pulling at my lips effortlessly through The Mask. Even if the walls have eyes and ears, Sasakibe-oji was someone who had never made any bells ring in my head, and I took comfort in that. He also looks greatly amused at seeing Gai.

"Hello, children. Are you ready for today's mission?"

Gai, as he does everything else, nods his head with vigour and nearly starts on another rant on youth until Genma lays a hand on his shoulder.

"Good morning, Sasakibe-san. We came to pick up our mission."

The older man shuffles some papers, although I have no doubt everything is neatly organized in his head. His chakra is familiar and soothing, and I take comfort in being surrounded by trusted people. There's much, much more iron than people in this room, and it makes my skin crawl.

' _ **Eyes and ears everywhere.'**_

It comes to me before I can stop it.

The same thing that demands to be noticed lets me know there are five more unknown people in the room, but there's no indication of any chakra whatsoever. These people, whoever they are, are so skilled in hiding their presence nothing else can be detected other than the natural flow of their blood.

' _ **Anbu.'**_

I think even as something with claws drags its way up, only to be quickly shut down. Whether that's the seal on my forehead or my preservation instincts, I decide to not dwell on it.

"Yes, you do have a couple of tasks today. They shouldn't take much time, and I even dare say the first one might be enjoyable."

Sasakibe-oji is met with various stares of skepticism, not even Gai managing to find paperwork enjoyable. A challenge? Maybe. Necessary? Definitely.

Enjoyable? No way in hell.

The older man does nothing but smile knowingly at us, urging Genma to take the few papers with him.

"Regardless, your sensei is waiting for you on the roof. Do go there first."

It's easy to look out for Choza-sensei's hum of iron in a sea of unknown ones, and a fraction of me relaxes. My sensei is nearby, and I know he would do everything in his power to protect us. No alarms go off when I think of him, and I trust my instincts to label him as safety-protection-warmth.

Between one blink and the next, we're on the roof facing Choza-sensei and a middle-aged man who holds an ancient version of a camera. My mind immediately goes to how I looked this morning-

-a brand new scar, the first of many, a thin angry red line behind and under my left knee.

-a child with a seal on her forehead and purple bags under her eyes.

-the grey of the short-sleeved kimono that suddenly doesn't look that great of an idea, making an already pale face become even paler against the fabric.

And then Choza-sensei laughs and greets us as if we haven't seen each other just yesterday, messing up Genma's hair and straightening Gai's clothes. When I reach him, his smile is warmer than the sun, and I receive a proud nod after a brief checking.

"You look very cute, as always." He brushes the few blonde hair strands that fall out of my mini bun, expertly rearranging them to keep my bangs out of my face. "There."

"I'm not cute, sensei. I'm badass." I say in a deadpan voice, something I've learned from watching Genma. Said boy chokes and coughs, but our sensei merely laughs.

"Of course, of course! Now gather around, children. We're finally going to take our team photo."

Automatically, Choza-sensei puts an arm around each boy so that I'm sandwiched between the three, and The Mask shifts. I smile genuinely at the camera, feeling warm and content in this new family we've built. It's not perfect and we've still got many things to overcome, but being surrounded by familiar hums of iron makes me relaxed and comfortable.

"Say 'Konoha!'"

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* * *

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The feeling doesn't last very long.

The very next day, a very familiar hum of iron that crackles like lightning makes itself known, and that's how I know Kakashi and Minato are back.

It's early in the morning and not many people have arrived in the admin building. Seeing as it holds a myriad of other smaller departments, I don't doubt for a second people are fighting for coffee in the communal kitchen. Sasakibe-oji is there, as usual, as well as six unknown murmurs of iron in the room. I'm not used to it still-

_**-'eyes and ears everywhere'-** _

-but each day I panic a little less. They never go away, and there're always at least three of them in the Hokage's Office floor, but I've never felt anything other than the iron in their blood, not even an inkling of an emotion or chakra fluctuation, and that somehow makes me believe they've got things under control.

The first sign that tells me Kakashi is back is Obito's scowl, which has somehow brought back some color on his cheeks. He's grumbling under his breath, and I only know one person who can make him so upset in such a short time.

The second is Minato in all his blonde glory and small but genuine smile, innocent as the cat that caught the canary. I feel his iron thrum in a normal pace, and that reassures me nothing really happened.

And then there's the boy himself, who looks obviously disgruntled even wearing a mask. His dark eyes, usually half-lidded and with a certain layer of indifference to them, are open and expressive. His iron is definitely not humming as usual, and it seems to cackle like his chakra affinity. It spasms and contracts in odd intervals, and he might as well have yelled 'I'm a walking bomb!' for the entirely village to hear.

"How nice that everyone is here! Since Rin is still working her shift at the hospital, why don't you show Kakashi the ropes while I take Obito to fill in properly his paperwork, hm?"

Minato had been addressing Team Choza as a whole, but his sky blue eyes were focused on mine and I wanted to roll my eyes at his nonexistent subtlety. Besides, he must have known our first mission of the day was to deliver unfinished paperwork to all the departments inside the admin building.

"Of course, Minato-sensei."

"COME, YOUTHFUL RIVAL!"

"Gai, please, it's too early for this."

It was easy to let Genma and Gai's voice fade in the background as I took the time to finally look at the silver-haired boy and let my chakra wash over him.

He doesn't look good, all in all. There are bags under his eyes just like mine, a rigid form and eyes that dart everywhere before inevitably finding mine again. If Minato's intention was to release some of the tension inside his body, I'm not sure it worked.

Then again, perhaps this was why he'd chosen to dump Kakashi on us.

The Mask falls for a second. I don't smile, but I feel my entire face relax. His dark eyes focus on mine and I keep my expression open and honest.

' _I'm glad you're home.'_

' _It's good to see you.'_

' _I missed you.'_

' _I'm okay.'_

I try to convey all these feelings in that one second The Mask is down, and I hope is enough. I can't afford to not wear it for long, especially not in the traitor's nest-

_**-'eyes and ears'-** _

-but Kakashi is Kakashi. The brother that's not mine by blood, but by everything else. The Mask will shift and accommodate everyone else but my three brothers, traitor around or not.

It does seem to work. The next time his eyes search for mine, they're not as haunted as they seemed.

.

* * *

.

"There are eight departments that are a part of Administration: Archives, Mission's Desk, the Civil Affairs Office, Immigration, Buildings and Structure, Family and Children, Ninja Proceedings, and the Hokage's Office."

Somehow, it was unanimously decided that I'd be the one to give all the explanations and the boys would deliver the papers. I don't actually mind talking, since it's something I've always known, but it makes fond exasperation bloom in my chest for my two teammates.

' _Some people really don't know how to be subtle, huh?'_

"Our first stop is Immigration. Not many people work in each department, but together it makes for a lot, especially in the mornings when everyone wants their coffee."

Of course, it's also completely amusing to see Gai, Genma, and Obito not so secretly plotting to reveal Kakashi's face. It's something I don't condemn, but it's something I have zero interest in. Even if I didn't know what his face looked like, his business was his, and it wasn't anyone's place to wonder why.

But alas, children are children, little soldiers or not, and a little fun never hurt anybody.

Getting the paperwork to reach the appropriate person in charge isn't too much of a difficult task, seeing as every department supervisor has a small office that overlooks all the other desks in their section.

"What's the busiest department?"

"That's difficult to say. Everyone is always busy, but there are times when certain sections are busier than others. After a particularly tough winter, Civil Affairs and Buildings are some of the busiest, although I'd say the top busiest is the Hokage's Office. No matter the department, everything needs to be approved by the hokage for things to actually happen."

"Oh, my!"

Obito fakes a dramatic trip and tries to drag down Kakashi with him, but the boy next to me merely shifts to the side and keeps on walking unaffected.

"Wouldn't it be easier to make Family and Children a section within Civil Affairs?"

As we walk to Buildings and Structure, this time it's Genma who 'accidentally' spills some water on the last Hatake, but it's miraculously gone before I can blink.

"Not really. Most people that have something to do at Administration have to go through at least two departments to get things done. If it's clan business, for example, it goes to Family and Children  _and_ Ninja Proceedings. In some cases, Archives and Civil Affairs are involved too."

I nearly feel like laughing when Gai loudly proposes one of his ridiculous challenges with a penalty to the loser, but Kakashi somehow edges Obito on and the next thing I see, both my green-clad teammate and the Uchiha are on a passionate hand-walking run with their honor on the line.

"Who even decides which departments have to be involved in each case?"

"Every supervisor has their own guideline to follow. It's basically a list of things they can or cannot solve on their own. If it's not on their list, they need to look for someone who does."

After Genma decides seeing Kakashi's face isn't worth the trouble, the seven year old walking next to me continues to keep a steady flow of questions as we slowly but surely get our job done, and it raises numerous alarms in my head.

Kakashi is not talkative. Ever. He doesn't ask for information unless he has exhausted all possible sources and there's really no other way to do it. Even if he's familiar with the person, he'll seldom start a conversation and keep it going for long.

Not to mention the questions he's asking are all things he either already knows or wouldn't take long to figure out. He lived a short time under the hokage's roof, but it was enough for him to pick up on many aspects of the administration part of a village.

_**-'eyes and ears'-** _

' _Shut up. This is information everyone has access to. It's not a secret.'_

It makes a knot of worry and anxiousness build a home in my throat and it nearly threatens The Mask into shifting, which is not good. Kakashi is clearly not acting like himself and I have yet to tell him what I know of the attack on the border, assuming Minato hasn't told him anything.

' _I wonder…'_

I think nothing of it when the buzz of iron of both Gai and Obito approach us rapidly, too caught up on what might be going on inside Kakashi's head, until the Uchiha boy actually trips for real this time and my body braces to catch him-

Iron that used to hum now whirs and throbs. Between one heartbeat and the other, Obito is lying sprawled on the floor, an angry but confused look on his face. Gai looks torn between helping the fallen boy and his eternal rival, and Genma frankly just looks done.

All of that is seen and catalogued by a detached part of my mind. The part that is actively participating in the present freezes behind the mob of silver hair and rigid back that is Kakashi. The same voice that screams  _ **'eyes and ears'**_  yells at me to move, to shout, to do  _something_ , but iron and chakra mix in a way I've never felt before. Chakra hisses and cracks under rising tension as iron buzzes and throbs and the odd mix reminds me of faraway thunder.

It takes two seconds for me to realize it doesn't just feel like thunder; it actually is thunder I hear coming from Kakashi-

_(Kakashi? Tiny, lazy Kakashi? My Kakashi?)_

-and it's actually coming from his chest-

' _-oh sweet gods I thought only canines could do that-'_

I nearly burst out in hysterics, but The Mask presses down harder on my face and suffocates it.

_**-'eyes aND EARS'-** _

Then Sasakibe-oji promptly chops Kakashi in the middle of his silver head and everything stops at once.

.

* * *

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For the record, Chiyuki's new dealings with her Iron Release is heavily based on  **Kuvira from Legend of Korra.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey I never said I wouldn't leave another cliffhanger and you'll never catch me alive


End file.
